Ocarina of Death
by Death's Disciple
Summary: It's a novelization of OoT with a few changes. Who is the strange boy in the black cloak and why does it seem that he knows more that he shows? Rated for safety, I don't trust myself.Final chapter up.
1. Chapter 1

Me: This is IT!!!

Jack: What the Hell is wrong with him?!

Mike: I don't know. But he is starting to freak me out…

Me: HEY!!! Don't talk about me as if I wasn't here!!! It's RUDE!!!

Anyway…This is my first long fic. It's a novelization of OoT with my OC included. So say the Damn Disclaimer already and let get this show on the road.

Jack & Mike: He doesn't own The Legend of Zelda OoT.

Me: It's SHOWTIME.

* * *

"Navi... Navi where art thou?" the Great Deku Tree (GDT) asked.

"Here I am, Great Deku Tree" called a small bluish fairy "What do you need?"

"I need you to go… bring the boy with no fairy here… "GDT said

"Ok, Ok… but why do you talk like that?" asked Navi

"'Cuz I'm a dying old tree!!! That's why!!! Now…GO!!! And bring the damn kid already!!!" yelled GDT

"Eeep! Ok" Navi said and flew off "Phew, damn old geezer. "Navi do this, Navi do that", damn him! He said he's dying, huh? Well good riddance! Now…where the hell does that freakin' kid live?" Navi asked herself. "Damn it! I should have asked…"THUMP" Owww!!! Fucking fence, who the hell needs a fence here?! Ahhh, there's one of those stupid kokiris, I'll ask her." Navi said to herself and approached a girl with green hair and green eyes.

"Hello little fairy, I'm Saria, who are you?" the girl (obviously Saria) asked

"I'm Navi; I'm looking for someone…" Navi said

"Is it a friend of yours?" Saria asked

"Not really…I'm looking for, uh, "the boy with no fairy", ring any bells?" Navi asked

"Oh, you're looking for Link. He lives in this tree, right here." Saria cheerfully answered

"What?! This tree right next to us?!" Navi asked incredulous and angry. She then flew into the tree and saw Link sleeping. After five minutes of "Hey" and "Listen" she decided to smack him awake, so…

"Gah!!! Who dares interrupt my sleep?! I'll tear your intestines out and strangle you with them!!!" Link shouted and, outside, the kokiris shivered and Saria paled.

"Oh, dear goddesses, she woke Link up?! This won't be pretty" Saria though and waited for the onslaught that was sure to follow

"WHAT?! A Fairy?!" she heard Link shout" YAY!!! I HAVE A FAIRY!!! YAHOO!!!" Saria and the kokiris heard and…cue in anime drops.

"Ok. Now that we have everything clear, let's go meet the Great Deku Tree." Navi said

"You mean Geezer? Sure, if that's what you want." Link said.

"Geezer" Navi snorted "Anyway, let's go" they walked outside and saw Saria imbedded in the ground.

"Ahhh!!! Saria! What happened to you?! Who did this?! Was it Mido?! I'll gut him with the sword I found the other day!!!" Link started rambling. Saria tried to get up but found she was stuck. She tried to ask Link for help but he didn't listen and left to get a shield so he could beat Mido to death with it.

"GIVE ME THE FREAKING SHIELD OR I'LL RIP YOUR HANDS OFF AND EVISCERATE AND EMASCULATE YOU WITH YOUR OWN FINGERNAILS" Link yelled at the shopkeeper, a tiny kokiri who had to stand on tiptoes to see over the counter.

"T-t-take it" the shopkeeper said.

"Thank you" Link said with a casual smile and left

"Link, you do realize you just threatened a kid with death and castration right?" Navi asked

"Yeah, so?" Link asked

"If it wasn't for the fact that I'm a fairy and you're a kokiri (yeah right)…I might've fallen in love with you." Navi said glowing pinkish "Oh well, let's just stay friends"

"Sure" Link said. After walking for about 30 seconds, they reached Mido "guarding" the path to the GDT.

"What do you want, freak?! You psycho!!! I heard what you threatened to do to the shopkeeper!!!" Mido yelled at Link. Link just calmly drew his sword and cut off all of Mido's clothes. "Ahhh!!! You crazy SOB!!! I'll get you for this!!!" Mido yelled as he ran.

"Wow, I'm impressed Link. That was amazing" Navi said

"What are you talking about? I missed" Link said. With that miserable failure our heroes continued their walk to the GDT. "So…what those Geezer want with me?" Link asked Navi

"Don't know. Probably wants to send you in a journey across time and space, or to get his pills. Who knows?" Navi did the closest thing to a shrug she could perform (you know, being a ball of light).

After a long and boring speech, they entered the GDT's mouth.

Meanwhile a black cloaked figure entered the Kokiri Forest. The kokiri guarding the entrance tried to block his path, only to be grabbed by the neck, lifted about a foot off the ground and asked where the GDT was.

"Over there" he answered and was thrown to the side. The stranger walked towards the GDT and when he got there and saw the GDT's mouth open he walked into it.

"It's time, Old Twig" was all he said before he disappeared into the darkness.

* * *

Me: There is the first chapter.

Stranger: So I still have no name?

Me: Of course you have a name, my friend. I will reveal it soon.

Stranger: Oh, well. Everything is fine then.

Jack: Wait a minute!!! Why the hell does Link act like that?! He actually seems like…me.

Mike: Oh, good heavens. That's awful.

Me: Well, it's because I was watching Excel Saga while I wrote this so…I wrote as much randomness as I could without warping the story to much.

Stranger: Well, Read and Review.


	2. Chapter 2

Me: Chapter two.

Jack: So…nutcase is back.

Me: Remember you're me, so, if I'm a nutcase you're one to.

Jack: Fuck!!! Lost AGAIN!!!

Stranger: So, do I get a name already or do I remain nameless and just kill like that?

Me: Of course your name shall be revealed in this chapter. And you'll get to kill to. I'm so merciful.

Mike: No, you're not.

Me: Just say the freakin' disclaimer.

Stranger: Death's Disciple only owes me.

Me: Let's GO!!!

* * *

We join our heroes inside the Deku Tree, and they're having a logical and mature discussion… 

"NO FUCKING WAY NAVI!!!" Link yelled "I WON'T TOUCH THAT!!!" he said pointing at a rather large spider web.

"Ok, ok. Let's see if there is a passage up that ledge" Navi conceded shaking her head (Let's just assume she has one, ok?).

"Alright" Link said and started to climb. After a while they found the slingshot. Link and Navi returned to the entrance, only to find the web on the floor burned.

"What the hell happened here?" Link asked Navi.

"I don't know, I was with you, remember?" Navi asked exasperated.

"Ok, no need to get hostile. Let's continue" Link said and jumped.

"HOLY SHIT!!! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE?!?!" Link screamed at the carnage laid in front of him. Monsters ripped limb from limb, burnt and impaled littered the floor. The webs were burnt and a ledge had been destroyed so that it could be climbed.

"I-I don't know, but we should continue. Whatever did this might come back." Navi said nervously.

"O-o-ok" Link said and jumped to the lowest level. There he found the bodies of three deku scrubs, one of them still agonizing and burning with a black flame. Link ran to the dying scrub and asked it what had done that to them. True they were servants of evil but even they deserved better than that.

"A-a b-boy with a b-black cloak did this, he t-t-then entered the c-c-chamber of Q-q-queen Gohma" the scrub said before turning to ash. Link then saw the destroyed door and, bracing himself, he entered the chamber. Inside the chamber he saw a horrific spectacle. A boy dressed in jet black was fighting an armored spider. He assumed the spider to be Gohma and that it was the cause of the curse the Geezer was suffering, so he readied his slingshot and shot a seed at its eye. The shot stunned Gohma long enough for the boy in black to rip its legs with his bare hands and shoot a black fire ball into Gohma's eye.

While Gohma's innards burned the boy in black turned to look at Link. Link was dumbstruck, this guy had ripped that monster to pieces with his bare hands, but what shocked him more were the boy's eyes, his left one was a light blue that looked innocent but his right one was crimson red that looked brutal and bloodthirsty and they both had snake-like pupils.

Link finally found his voice and asked "Who are you?"

The boy chuckled, removed his hood and answered "My name is Damian. What's yours?"

"Link" Link answered still shocked. This guy looked a little older than Link himself but had far more presence.

"And who is the little one hiding in your hat?" Damian asked

"Oh, this is Navi. Say hello Navi" Link said

"H-h-hello." Navi said.

"Hello yourself. We should get out of here, the bodies are starting to stink" Damian said casually, as if this happened every day. "I'll see you outside" And with that he vanished into the shadows. Link and Navi entered the blue light and were transported outside, where they found Damian talking with the GDT.

"Just a few more minutes, please" the GDT asked.

"Ok, fine. Go ahead, he is here anyway" Damian said with a note of desperation.

"Link, I have something to tell you…" after another long and boring speech the GDT got to the point "Take the Kokiri Emerald and meet with Zelda" after he said this Damian stood up and started to walk to the exit. The GDT says something else and dies.

"Well, that was educational" Damian said sarcastically.

"Hey! Show some respect for the dead!" Navi yelled indignantly.

"Trust me; I know more about the dead that you can imagine…" Damian said, and Navi thought she saw his eyes flash a deep blue. "Anyway, you're going to Hyrule Castle, right? I have…business to attend to there, so I'll go with you" Damian said.

"Ok, but I have some unfinished business with Mido" Link said with a devilish smile.

"Ok, but hurry up" Damian said. After Link kicked Mido's ass to the moon and back, our heroes head for the entrance of the forest. When the watchman saw Damian, he screamed like a little girl and ran away.

"What's up with him?" Link asked.

"Oh, I guess he was intimidated by your sword" Damian lied.

"Oh, well. I guess we should leave" Link said

"Idiot" Damian thought. They then exited the Kokiri Village and began walking on the bridge, when Damian suddenly stopped. Link turned to ask him what was wrong, when he saw Damian create a cleaver of fire and point it at thin air. "Show yourself or you will feel the fiery edge of my blade!" Damian yelled. Link was perplexed by Damian's sudden behavior, until he saw Saria emerging from thin air.

"You're pretty sharp. " Saria said to Damian.

"Of course I must be, otherwise I would be dead already. The life of a…orphan is never easy" Damian said with shifty eyes.

"I suppose so." Saria said, now she shifted her attention to Link "You're leaving the forest aren't you?" She asked. She then reached inside her tunic and produced a wooden ocarina. "Take this with you, think of me when you play it" she said to Link as she handed him the ocarina. When Link took it she ran back to the village.

"Guess your girlfriend didn't want you leaving, huh?" Damian asked with a smirk.

"WHAT?!" Link asked.

"Heh, nothing" Damian said chuckling. "Anyway, let's go"

And so they left, after exiting the woods they found the old Owl (long name, to lazy to write it) and after a long and awfully boring speech, the Owl flew away, casting a mistrustful look in Damian's direction. They walked towards Hyrule Castle Town and they arrived as the sun was setting, the freaking wolf howled and the gate started to rise.

"Fuck. Now we have to wait until sunrise." Damian said. "Well, we might as well stop here and rest"

"Ok" Link said. So the three of them stopped in front of the gates and sat in the ground. After about 30 minutes the freaking Stalchildren came crawling out of the ground. "Holy Shit!!! Damian, did you know these fuckers would come crawling out of Hell's ass?!?!" Link asked Damian while fighting three of them. Suddenly the Stalchildren gave a shudder and had a look of pure horror in their undead eyes, they hauled ass before Link could even draw another breath. "What the hell happened?" Link asked Damian.

"I don't know, but look it'll dawn soon. Maybe that chased them away" Damian said looking decidedly uncomfortable.

"Oh, Ok" Link said looking suspiciously at Damian. After the cock sang the gate opened and they walked in. After Link asked for directions they headed towards the Castle. When they arrived they saw a girl with long red hair and blue eyes, Link approached the girl, but Damian stood behind. "Hello, I'm Link and this is my fairy, Navi, who are you?" Link asked the girl.

"Hi, I'm Malon. Nice to meet you." The girl (Malon) said. "Who's your friend with the cloak?" she asked observing Damian curiously, since it was a hot day and he was wearing a _black_ cloak. Damian had not even seen her and just walked towards the gate.

"Hey, she's talking to you! Don't you have any manners?!" Navi yelled at Damian, he just sighed, removed his hood and turned around, his bangs covered his eyes.

"Greetings, I am called Damian. Pleased to make your acquaintance." Damian said giving a small bow.

"Pleased to meet you too." Malon said giggling and giving a small curtsy. She then seemed to notice something, for she approached Damian and removed the bang covering his right eye. She gasped and Link thought it was because of Damian's eye, but she was staring not at the eye, but at a vicious looking scar that snaked from Damian's forehead to his cheek. "What happened to you?" she asked reaching for the scar. Damian just turned and began walking towards the gate again.

"We should go, Link" Damian said. Link nodded and began walking towards the gate too, when Malon asked him if he was going to the Castle. Link told her he was and Malon asked him if he could find her father Talon and tell him to return already. After Link agreed and Malon gave him the cucco egg, she left with a wave. Link then approached Damian and noticed him casting a furtive glance in Malon's direction.

"Hehehe, you like her, huh?" Link asked snickering.

"Of course I do, otherwise she would be dead." Damian deadpanned. Link shivered at Damian's tone, so he decided to drop the subject. They then approached the gate and Link approached the guard.

"Excuse me; we have to meet princess Zelda." The guard just chuckled and shoved Link aside. "'Why you little-"

"You, idiot, I have important business that I must attend to with the princess. Now allow my servant and myself to enter." Damian said producing a letter with the seal of the royal family and handing it to the guard, the guard read it and paled.

"O-o-of c-c-course Lord Mors." The guard said obviously afraid, he opened the gate and saluted as they went past. After they were out of earshot Link asked Damian what the hell that was all about.

"Well, that letter was a fake I created in case we were stopped, Mors is the name I wrote for myself. We should hurry anyway and stay out of sight, they won't take too long to figure it's a fake" Damian said while they climbed a rocky ledge. After a quick swim in the moat they found a man sleeping near some crates, Link figured he was Talon so he used the cucco that hatched from the egg Malon gave him to wake him up. After a brief speech and a scolding glare by Damian, Talon ran away to find Malon. "Well now that the lard-ass is out of the way let's push those crates to create a path." Damian said. When the crates were in place Damian told Link he would keep watch so he could meet with the princess.

"Ok, I'll be back as soon as I can" Link said crawling through the hole in the wall. After a long and rather pointless maze he found Zelda in the courtyard. After boring speech number 4, Link saw a man through the window, the man, Zelda explained, was Ganondorf, king of the Gerudo Thieves. As Link and Zelda were planning their next movement Damian materialized in the middle of the courtyard.

"Well, if you two are done making out, we should get going, Link. Unless you want another five minutes." Damian asked smirking. Link was about to tell him he should get his head out of the gutter, but Zelda's shriek cut him off.

"Link!!! You know this creature?!" Zelda asked horrified.

* * *

Me: Well that was it, second chapter is done.

Damian: Shouldn't you have described me?

Me: Oh, you're right. Well, Damian is about a six inches taller than Link, has waist-length jet black hair, his eyes are mismatched and has a vicious looking scar over his right eye. Am I forgetting anything?

Damian: Pupils

Me: Oh yes, he has snake-like pupils. Anyway, review people.


	3. Chapter 3

Me: Chapter three! Oh yeah!

Mike: Excuse me, where is Jack?

Me: Oh, he's sulking over there.

Mike: Why is he behaving like that?

Me: Because he didn't appear in the last author notes.

Damian: How…stupid.

Me: You're right. Now, on with the disclaimer.

Damian: I am his sole creation.

Me: Showtime.

* * *

Link looks confused, Zelda looks horrified and Damian looks…pissed off

"Royalty sure has declined, don't ya think, Link?" Damian asked and his left eye turned as red as his right one. "I would've expected at least a greeting, but no…see a guy with mismatched eyes and a black cloak materialize in a room and obviously he _has_ to be an evil creature." Damian said keeping his blood red glare fixed on Zelda. Link considered this and turned to look at Zelda.

"Why did you call him a creature, your highness?" Link asked. Zelda looked at him as if he was crazy.

"Don't you feel it, Link?! This creature's darkness is even greater than Ganondorf's!" Zelda screeched. Damian snarled and materialized a cleaver made of black flame.

"You dare judge me?! You, who would send a boy in a journey that may cost him his life?! It is you who should be judged! Now witness the Ignis Fatuus, the Corpse Flare!" Damian said as he charged at Zelda, eyes ablaze with wrath. Zelda's eyes widened in fear as she saw a black aura so dark Ganondorf's aura looked gray when compared. Damian brought his cleaver down and a huge black flare blinded Link. When Link opened his eyes he saw Damian had stopped the charge and brought the cleaver down just inches in front of Zelda. "You're not even worth the effort." Damian scoffed as Zelda fell to her knees. "You're not worth the blood, sweat and tears Link is sure to spill for you." Damian said and turned around. As he turned Zelda caught a glimpse of the clothes beneath the cloak and saw something that made her blood run cold, on his back was a mark she saw in her dreams, a mark she saw floating in the middle of the battlefield Hyrule was fated to become, a blood red moon distorted by a specter. "Link, I'll meet you in Lon Lon Ranch. I believe I have overstayed my welcome." Damian said as he began walking towards the exit.

"W-w-wait!" Zelda said. "What's your name?"

Damian stopped and turned his head, only showing his blood red and snake pupil eye. "I fail to see what interest my name might hold to a spoiled brat." Damian spat. "But I'll tell you anyway, to teach you some manners. My name is Damian Shinotsuki, the Moon of Death." Damian said and turned to leave. "Oh, and brat? Tell that annoying shadow of yours to keep to her own business." Damian said and left. Link wondered what Damian meant until he noticed a tall and scary looking (though not as scary as Damian) woman. Zelda just stood there and looked deep in thought. Link saw this and approached Zelda.

"Princess? What's wrong?" Link asked. Zelda snapped out of it and looked at Link.

"Nothing. Anyway, Link, I would like to introduce you to my nana/bodyguard/shadow Impa." Zelda said pointing at the tall woman.

"Pleased to meet you" Link said, a little nervous.

"Pleased to meet you too" Impa said. "Princess, I believe I should take the boy outside. The guards are looking for an intruder. It seems the other boy knocked many of the guards out." Zelda just nodded and turned to continue watching Ganondorf. "We should go, Link" Impa said and dragged Link out. Once they were outside Impa told him to go meet the Gorons of Death Mountain and to obtain the Goron Ruby from them, she taught him Zelda's Lullaby and vanished in a flash of light.

"Where did Damian told me to meet him?" Link asked Navi.

"He said to meet him in Lon Lon Ranch." Navi answered. They headed there. When they arrived they saw something that they did not believe possible. They saw Damian without his cloak, playing a song in a black ocarina as Malon sang the same song. As they approached them, Malon stopped singing and smiled at Damian.

"You play really well, Dark Boy" Malon said still smiling.

"And you have a heavenly voice, Farm Girl" Damian said (dare I say it) smiling, not a maniacal smirk or an I'm-gonna-kill-you smile but an honest smile. Link and Navi both thought that the Apocalypse was near at that. They approached the musical pair and they finally noticed the pair of them. "Oh, good. I was beginning to think you had taken my advice too seriously." Damian said to Link, his smile replaced with a smirk.

"What do you-? HOLY- You sick bastard!" Link said blushing. He thought of a way to get back at Damian. "What about you, "Dark Boy"? What have you been doing with your little "Farm Girl" here, hmmm?" Link asked with a smirk of his own. Damian's smirk faltered a little but remained on his face. Link had surprised him, but that wasn't going to stop him or humiliate him. After all he had done nothing wrong, poor naïve Link.

"Oh, not much. She taught me the song we were just playing, we played with the horses for a while and I helped her milk the cows." Damian said shrugging nonchalantly. Link frowned a bit, this wasn't going as planned. He would get to Damian this time.

"So what was that about a "heavenly voice", huh?" Link asked, expecting Damian to blush or act embarrassed. The whole thing backfired on him. Damian's smirk turned into that honest (If somewhat creepy) smile and he turned to look at Malon.

"Should we show him, Farm Girl?" Damian asked, already bringing his ocarina to his lips. Malon just giggled and nodded. They started their performance and boy was Link surprised, she did have a beautiful voice, and after they finished he started clapping. Damian and Malon looked at one another and bowed to their audience. "That was beautiful my dear." Damian said to Malon and bowed to her.

Malon giggled. "You were not to bad yourself." She said and did a curtsy. Damian approached Malon, grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles.

"You flatter me; the song is yours after all." Damian said still holding Malon's hand. After a few seconds he released her hand. "Now, I believe we should teach our loving audience how to play proper music, don't you?" Damian asked.

"Sure, come here Fairy Boy." Malon said and taught Link Epona's song. After he played for the first time Epona walked over to him. "Hmmm, that's curious. She didn't do that when Dark Boy played it." Malon said. Damian just shrugged.

"Guess she doesn't like me. It's ok; I already have a foal growing. Maybe one day I'll bring him here and see how he gets along with Epona." Damian said. "Anyway Link, we should get going. I bet your girlfriend wants to know what you've been up to." Damian said smirking devilishly.

"She is not my girlfriend! But, I do miss her. Let's go visit Saria." Link said and started to walk towards the exit.

Damian chuckled and Malon asked him what was so funny. "Did I ever mention a name?" Damian asked Malon. She gasped and started giggling. "Ah, how I love that giggle." Malon stopped giggling and looked at Damian as if he had sprouted another head. Then Damian registered what he had said, blushed and laughed nervously. "Um, eh, I-I-I should leave. See you later Farm Girl." Damian said and made a dash for the exit.

"What took you so long? And why are you blushing? Did you decide to follow your own advice?" Link asked Damian.

"Shut up or, I assure you, Ganondorf will be the least of your problems, comprende?" Damian asked Link with a tone and a glare that, Link thought, could've made Ganondorf soil himself. So he wisely decided to shut up and head to the woods. "Good." Damian said.

When they arrived at the woods, the gatekeeper had grown a backbone and told Damian he could not pass, Damian sighed and lifted the kokiri again. "Now, listen to me you little shit. I go wherever the hell I want and you won't try to stop me a third time or it'll be the last thing you do." Damian snarled in the boy's face. The kokiri nodded and, after Damian dropped him, he ran away. "Let's go." Damian told Link.

"Go where?" Link asked. After a brief glare that practically screamed "how the hell should I know" Link decided Saria must be in her special place in the Lost Woods. After a while in the woods, a long boring speech by the Owl and several wrong turns later they arrived at the Sacred Forest Meadow. There, after Damian burned to ashes a few Deku Scrubs and ripped a Wolfos limb from limb, they found Saria playing her ocarina. She practically screamed when she saw them. "Good to see you too, Saria." Link said.

"What are you doing here? Did you finish your quest already?" Saria asked.

"No, but lover boy here wanted to see his girlfriend." Damian said. Saria and Link both had simultaneous heart attacks. "Gee, lighten up. Anyway Saria, I believe I haven't properly introduced myself. I am called Damian, nice to meet you." Damian said.

"N-n-nice to meet you too." Saria said still a bit caught off guard.

"Could you teach Link here the song you were playing? I liked it, but I'm sure that it's a special song you only teach to your friends. Well, I'll be waiting for you in Kakariko Village, Link. See you there." Damian said and vanished into the shadows.

"He's a bit creepy, isn't he?" Saria asked Link who just nodded vigorously. "Anyway, he's got a point. I'll teach you my song so you can communicate with me anytime." Saria said and taught Link Saria's song. After getting lost about four times Link finally arrived at Kokiri Village and decided to stay there for the night. The next morning Link left and arrived at Kakariko Village around noon. He asked around town if anyone had seen a boy in a black cloak and the cucco lady told him the boy in black had helped her and then left to the Graveyard. Link thanked her and headed for the Graveyard. When he arrived he saw Damian standing in front of a grave in the far end of the Graveyard and staring at a cave in the wall.

"You finally arrive." Damian said without even turning. "Come, stand here and play the brat's lullaby." Damian told him. Link obeyed and suddenly the sky turned dark and a thunder struck the grave, destroying it. Link saw there was a hole in the ground and, before he could even blink, Damian shoved him head first into the darkness. Link was rubbing his head when Damian jumped down, he glared daggers at his companion but he didn't even notice. "Come on." Damian said and entered a room full of skeletons, after torching a few bats, Damian told Link to go on. "I'll look around here you head further in." Link was about to protest but reconsidered for the sake of his own health.

After running away from zombies Link arrived at a pedestal and learnt the Sun's song. When he returned to the room Damian was in he found the room clean of skeletons. "What the fuck happened here?" Link asked.

"Nothing. Oh right, before I forget." Damian said reaching into his cloak; he pulled out a shield and two bottles. "This should protect you better than that crappy wooden shield and you can use the bottles to carry potions or milk." Damian explained. "Take 'em, I don't need them."

"Ok, let's head for Death Mountain." Link said.

"Sure" Damian said.

* * *

Me: There.

Jack: What the fuck happened to the skeletons?!

Me: All shall be revealed in due time. Anyway, there's something that has me a little depressed. No one has reviewed yet, let's hope that changes.

Jack: Yeah. Read and Review.


	4. Chapter 4

Me: Chapter four.

Jack: What, no insane screaming this time?

Me: No. I'm feeling pretty down.

Mike: Why?

Me: Dunno, just feeling down. Anyway, the Ignis Fatuus, also known as the deadlights, corpse candles or will-o'-the-wisp, is a natural phenomenon that appears as a series of floating lights over graveyards and mires mostly. Just so you know.

Damian: He only owes me.

Me: Begin.

* * *

We join our heroes having an intelligent conversation with the guard of the gate to Death Mountain…

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! WE HAVE PERMISSION FROM PRINCESS ZELDA HERSELF!!! LET US THROUGH!!!" Link yelled at the guard.

"Sorry kid, but the king told us that the princess was behaving oddly and ordered us to ignore her orders." The guard said shrugging. Damian was beginning to contemplate murder but decided on another path…bribery.

"I believe you have a son, right? Would you like this mask for your kid? You just have to let us through." Damian said producing a Keaton's Mask and showing it to the guard. The guard saw it and remembered his son had asked him to get that mask for him, so he accepted. "Thank you." Damian said. As they headed to Goron City Link asked Damian when he got that mask. "Oh, that? I made a deal with the Happy Mask Salesman. I sell his masks and he will lend me a special mask. Besides I saw the Keaton's Mask and thought it might be good to bribe a stupid guard with a spoiled kid." Damian said as they approached a cave blocked by a giant boulder. "Damn. You, Goron, what the fuck happened to the entrance of Dodongo's Cavern?" Damian asked, what Link thought was a rock and surprising, to Link at least, the "rock" moved and stood up.

"Talk to Big Brother. He might tell you more." The Goron said and curled up again. Damian sighed exasperated and began walking away.

"Wait. Why did you want to enter that cave?" Link asked Damian. Damian stopped and waited for Link to catch up with him.

"Because in there lives a species of fire breathing dinosaurs called Dodongos and their stomachs are used to make bomb bags. You will probably need one so I thought we could go in, gut one of those bastards and make one." Damian said. "But now we have to talk to the leader of the Gorons and that is going to be a nuisance." They reached the city and entered, inside Link saw that the city was constructed in levels and asked Damian where they could find Big Brother. "It's easy; I just have to do THIS." Damian said and pushed Link to the lowest level.

"BAASSSTAAAARDDD!" Link yelled as he fell. When he hit the floor he began rubbing his legs. "Fuck! That hurt!" Link cursed as Damian landed next to him.

"Let's go ya big wimp." Damian said and approached a stone door. "Stand here and play the brat's lullaby." Damian ordered Link. Link grumbled but did it anyway. The door started to slide open.

"How the fuck did you know that would work?!" Link asked Damian. Damian just shrugged.

"It's written in the mat you're standing on." Damian said and Link saw it was true "Idiot". They entered the room and saw the leader of the Gorons. "So, you must be Big Brother. Or should I say Darunia?" Damian asked.

"I thought my Sworn Brother the king had sent someone to help, but all I see are two kids. Have I really lost the respect of Sworn Brother? And how do you know my name, human?" Darunia said.

"In order, he did not send us, don't call me kid, in fact, don't call any of us kids, we have already drawn first blood, I don't know nor care and I know all of Hyrule's rulers." Damian said. "Link, this guy is obviously is in a bad mood so play the song your girlfriend taught you. It might cheer him up." Damian said. Link nodded and started to play, oblivious to the "girlfriend" jab. Darunia started to dance in a rather insane and creepy way. "That's...disturbing." Damian said. After Darunia finished he told Link he would give him the Ruby if he cleared Dodongo's Cavern of monsters and gave him the Goron Bracelet. They left the city and, after blowing the boulder that blocked the entrance into oblivion, they entered the cavern. "I advice you equip that shield I gave you. Your puny kokiri shield will burn to ashes in here." Damian said as he effortlessly plucked a Bomb Plant of the ground and blew the slab of stone blocking their path. Link was about to ask him why but he saw the interior and that answered his question.

"HOLY SHIT! THIS PLACE IS FUCKING HELL!" Link yelled.

"No, Link. This is not hell." Damian said with a trace of anger in his voice. "This is just a fucking cave in a fucking volcano filled with fucking monsters that want to spill our fucking guts out and eat our fucking corpses, comprende?"

"Ok, no need for that language." Link said. "Come to think of it. How are you not roasting in that cloak of yours?" Link asked, Damian merely ignored him and continued. After some time jumping between stepping stones, blowing up walls and three second degree burns, they reached a room where Link heard footsteps and saw a dinosaur like creature crawling to them. "Is that a Dodongo?" he asked Damian.

"Yes it is. Now kill it." Damian told him. Link did as he was told and killed the monster, but the monster started to flash and after a few seconds it blew up. "Fuck! They must have added bomb flowers to their diet!" Damian swore. "We're gonna have to ask a Goron to make one once this place is secure. FUCK!" After that they continued advancing and killing things until they reached a room with a few stepping stones and a whole lot of lava. Link noticed the door had been locked and was about to ask what was going on when he noticed Damian looking at the ceiling. "We have company, Link." As soon as Damian said this two Lizalfos dropped from the ceiling. "Damn. You take that one, I'll take this one." Link did as he was told and slashed at the Lizalfo. After five minutes of slashing and out of sheer luck Link defeated his opponent and turned to see if Damian had already finished. What he saw made him lose the contents of his stomach. Damian had ripped the creature's left arm and had cauterized the wound so it wouldn't die of blood loss; then he had cut the monster's right claw and had eviscerated it with its own claws. "That's what you get for staring at my scar, fucker. Rot in hell." Damian spat on the corpse. "Let's get going." Damian said and walked to the exit.

"Ok." Link said and followed Damian, truly grateful for the fact Damian appeared to be on his side and making a mental note not to stare at Damian's scar. After a few minutes of wandering they came across a treasure chest. "Oh, I wonder what's inside." Link said and opened the chest. "What the fuck is this!? Looks like a stomach or something." Link said holding it in front of Damian's face and noticed Damian's eyes widen an eight of an inch.

"That's a bomb bag. Sometimes I can't believe the fool's luck." Damian said shaking his head.

"Hehehe…WAIT! DID YOU JUST CALL ME A FOOL!?" Link asked indignant.

"No, why would I do that?" Damian said, sarcasm practically pooling below his words. "Let us continue, oh brave hero. Save the mountain folk." Damian said, now standing in a lake of sarcasm.

"Ha-ha-ha. Very funny, oh dark one." Link said glaring daggers at Damian, who just shrugged them off. They continued and eventually they found themselves standing on a bridge over the head of the giant Dodongo. "What do we do now?" Link asked, Damian shook his head and sighed.

"Honestly Link, do you even know how to read? There was a sign back there that said you need to drop a bomb in both eye sockets. I would've expected those bitches you call goddesses to have chosen someone with at least some common sense." Damian said still shaking his head.

"What did you say, blasphemer!? You called the goddesses bitches!?" Link asked.

"Of course I did. Think about it, if your precious "goddesses" are so good, why do they allow the people to suffer? Or allow the Triforce to be used for evil?" Damian asked Link. "Just think about it. Now, we have more pressing issues." Damian gestured to the holes on the bridge. Link nodded and drew two bombs and gave one to Damian, he dropped it in the hole and Link dropped his. The head opened its mouth.

"Wow, it actually worked." Link said. "And how do we get down there?" Link asked and got frightened when he saw Damian's devilish smirk. "Oh Farore." Link prayed.

"Hehehe. We use…the rising platform."' Damian said and snickered when Link face planted. "What? Did you think I was going to push you over the edge? I'm hurt." Damian said, actually sounding and looking hurt.

"I-I-it crossed my mind." Link said picking himself up. They used the ridiculously long rising platform and descended to the first floor. They entered the head's mouth and continued until they reached a dead end.

"Shit. We should return see if we missed some-" Damian was cut short by a loud rumble and an even louder roar. "What the-" he was cut short again, this time by Link screaming as he fell through a hole in the ground.

"SHIIIIIIIIIT" Link yelled. When he finally reached the bottom he saw a giant Dodongo. "HOLY SHIT! NAVI! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?" Link asked.

"That's King Dodongo." Navi answered.

"How the fuck do I kill it!? It could use my sword to pick its teeth after it eats me!" Link yelled nearly hysteric.

"Idiot! You have to throw bombs in its mouth when it wants to roast you!" Damian yelled at him. "Then use your toothpick to hit it!"

"Ok!" Link yelled back and did as he was told. After a few times repeating the sequence King Dodongo rolled into the lava and died. "Whew." Link said and didn't notice Damian was standing right next to him.

"Funny isn't it?" Damian asked and Link jumped about five feet in the air. "It lived in the heart of the volcano and it died because of lava." Damian said chuckling. "We should get out of here. See you outside." Damian said and vanished into the shadows.

"You know Link; I think he could have killed King Dodongo by himself and come out unharmed. Plus, I think he is kind of creepy." Navi said.

"I know, and how the hell does he seem to know exactly what we need to do!? I think he is not telling us something. Come to think of it...Have you ever wondered why he helps us? And if he can vanish into the shadows...Why doesn't he just get the Spiritual Stones himself?" Link said. "But he is right, we should leave." And with that he stepped into the light and left.

* * *

Me: Hehehe. I'm pure evil! No, not really.

Jack: Why did Damian refuse to help?

Me: I thought he was hogging the center spotlight to much. Besides, he did help. Only he didn't actually intervene.

Damian: Read and Review or I'll send the Ignis Fatuus after you. No, not really but I'll torture Link more or less depending on your reviews.


	5. Chapter 5

Me: Wahoo Chapter 5!!!

Jack: Holy Shit! He seems even stranger than usual!

Damian: What's the matter?

Me: I'm happy. Someone actually reviewed! Thanks JtheChosen1! As a special gift for being the first reviewer you can ask a any kind of torture and I'll figure a way to make it happen!

Mike: That's terrible!

Me: No, it isn't. It's a gift! Besides he could ask me to torture someone evil.

Damian: Sure…Anyway, I am his sole creation.

Me: Bring it!

* * *

After defeating King Dodongo and escaping the suffocating heat of Dodongo's Cavern we find Link in a far more dangerous and potentially lethal predicament…

"Goron Hug!" Cried Darunia.

"Ahhhhhh!!! Stay Away!!!" Link screamed as he ran towards the peak of the mountain. After putting some distance between his would-be executioners and himself, Link stopped and asked himself. "How the fuck did they know I would be coming out at that particular moment?"

"That would be my doing." Said a voice over Link's shoulder. Link screamed as a little girl, jumped four feet in the air and did a triple somersault. "Wow, nice jumping." Damian chuckled.

"Why did you do that?!" Link asked, his heart pumping about six times faster than normal.

"What? Scare you like a little girl? That's for fun. Or do you mean telling your new "Sworn Brother" that you would come out precisely at that moment? That was business." Damian said.

"Business?! What sort of business?!" Link asked, still a bit shaken.

"Normal business. Such as this." Damian said reaching into his cloak and withdrawing the Goron Ruby. "I told him you had killed King Dodongo and that you would be leaving the cavern shortly. He gave me the Ruby and left to congratulate you." Damian said. "Anyway, meet me at the top. There's someone you must meet there." Damian said and once more melted into the shadows.

"I definitely have to ask him how he does that." Link grumbled and started the long ascent. 20 minutes, six contusions, four burns and two falls later Link arrived at the Peak of Death Mountain. "Whew. That was tough." Link said nearly collapsing.

"Good, you finally arrive. Now enter that cave…NO YOU IDIOT!!! THAT'S THE ENTRANCE TO THE CRATER!!! THIS ONE!" Damian yelled at Link. They entered the cave and Link was surprised to find a beautiful fountain inside it. "If you're done gaping like the idiot you are stand on the Triforce marking and play bitch's lullaby." Link did as he was instructed and was startled by a loud and rather obnoxious laughter.

"Greetings young he-AHHHHHH WHAT IS THAT CREATURE DOING HERE?! GET IT OUT HERO!!!" The Great Fairy screeched. Link turned to look at Damian.

"How come anytime we run into something with magical perception they call you a creature?" Link asked Damian and froze in fear when he saw Damian's eyes were both blood red.

"I think I'll leave before the world loses one of its Great Fairies. Take these tokens and take 'em to the house that is in front of the construction site, the one that's supposedly abandoned. I'll meet you in the ranch." Damian said through gritted teeth and threw a bag to Link. He left after throwing a last venomous glare at the Great Fairy.

"Why did you call him a creature?" Link asked the Great Fairy (GF). The GF looked at Link in the same manner Zelda had (Chapter 3).

"Don't you feel it, young one?! The darkness that creature carries is great! It carries a broken heart and to much power to wield with only scorn in it!" The GF said with a look of mixed pity, hate and fear in her eyes. "That creature must heal its heart before it destroys the world. But enough about that Child of Darkness. I will grant you magic power." The GF said and Link felt power pouring into him. After the GF told him to visit her sisters she vanished into the fountain.

"So…Damian's like that because of a broken heart? That hardly seems possible. And what did she mean by a "Child of Darkness"? Gah! Too confusing! I think I better leave and do what Damian told me to do." Link thought. He exited the cave and saw the Owl. The Owl told him it could give him a lift down the mountain. Link accepted and grabbed the Owl's talons. After a brief flight and a not so brief fall Link entered the house Damian had told him. Inside he saw a lot of spider webs. Link felt a chill down his spine and was about to turn back when a huge Skulltula dropped from the ceiling. "Gah! What the-" The "Skulltula" in question had a face, a HUMAN face. "What happened to you?" Link asked. The Skulltula told Link its tale and asked him to gather the Golden Spider Tokens, Link remembered what Damian had told him and grabbed the bag Damian had tossed him. Link opened the bag and a lot of Golden Skull Tokens fell out of it. "What the hell are these?!" said Link and started counting them. "99…100. There are one hundred of these tokens here." Link said and looked at the Skulltula and was surprised to see a man standing there.

"The curse is broken! We're finally free! Take these objects as our thanks and if you ever need money come ask for it!" The man cried and embraced his children.

Link took the objects in question and stated to walk towards the ranch. "Wait a minute. If Damian is evil, why did he help that family? Or the cucco lady? He has helped me countless times and has never asked for anything in return. Maybe he is a repentant Child of Darkness…whatever that may mean." Link thought as he walked. He reached the ranch shortly before nightfall and saw an image that drove his thoughts away. There was Damian leaning on Malon and his shoulders shuddered as if he was…sobbing. "That's impossible! Damian, the guy who can rip an armored arachnid to shreds with his bare hands and not even blink, the guy who eviscerated a Lizalfos with its own claws because it was staring at his scar, is CRYING?!" Link asked Navi.

"Looks like it." Navi answered shivering. This had to be it, the Apocalypse.

"Shhhh, Dark Boy. Everything will be alright. Just let it all come out." Malon said to Damian who complied. After a few minutes Damian stopped sobbing but continued to lean on Malon. "Feeling better now?" She asked him.

"Yeah, much better. Thank you, Malon." Damian said and hugged Malon. "Thank you for being my friend and for supporting me in my moment of weakness. I'm sorry you had to witness me looking so pathetic." Damian said looking saddened and ashamed.

"Teeheehee, silly Damian. You didn't look pathetic. It takes a strong man to allow tears to show in front of someone they care about." Malon said and looked at Damian straight in the eyes. "You're strong Dark Boy but you are still a boy, live a little." Malon said and Damian smiled a little.

"Thank you, I think I will. Would you mind if I "lived a little" with you?" Damian asked with such sincerity and (dare I say it) pleading in his voice that no one could've answered "no"

"Of course I wouldn't mind, Dark Boy. But don't you have a mission to complete?" Malon asked and Damian sighed.

"You're right, Farm Girl. But as soon as that's taken care of I'll come back and be your knight in shinning black armor." Damian said and struck a heroic pose. They looked at one another and fell to the floor laughing. "Hahaha, oh boy that was rich. But I'm serious; I want to be with you. I really like you, Malon." Damian said blushing. Malon blushed as well but had a look of relief and joy in her eyes.

"I like you too, Damian." She said and gave him a short peck in the lips.

Damian's eyes widened and he felt he was in paradise…but that was short lived as he heard Link laughing his guts out. "Hahaha, Navi I told you. He has it for redheads." Link said, still snickering.

Damian blushed almost as red as his right eye and felt anger pooling into him. But he let it pass and decided to torture Link in another way. "Ah, Link. Good to see you here. Did you do what I instructed?" Damian asked and Link nodded still snickering. "Good, now you must go and visit the GF near the castle. I would go with you but you saw how the last one reacted to me. After you've done that pay the Mask Salesman for the masks and collect the Mask of Truth, then follow the river to reach Zora's Domain and meet me in their fountain behind the throne room. Meanwhile I'll stay here with my dearest." Damian said smirking devilishly. "Now, Farm Girl, do you have any food? I'm starving." Damian asked Malon and she just nodded and invited him to stay for dinner with her and her father. They entered and left Link standing in the cold of night, hungry and dumbfounded.

"What the fuck?! He gets to stay with his "dearest" and sends me to do all those things?! How the fuck is that fair?!" Link asked enraged.

"Actually it is more than fair." Said Navi and Link looked at her as if she was crazy. "Think about it, he is helping us but the mission is yours. He has already done so much for us and he didn't have to do it."

"Well. When you put it like that…I guess it is kinda fair. Let's go then." Link said and set out ignoring his stomach's constant groans.

* * *

Me: That was my first filler. I'm not overly proud of it but it revealed a bit more about Damian.

Damian: Why did you have to put me sobbing?! It's demeaning.

Me: Relax. Besides you got your girl. You should thank me.

Damian: You…are right. Sorry and thank you for allowing Malon and myself to be together.

Me: See. Wasn't too hard now, was it? Read and Review. Oh, and JtheChosen1? It's for real.


	6. Chapter 6

Me: Hehehe, Chapter six!

Mike: You seem to be in a good mood.

Me: Of course I am. Our only reviewer has chosen his prize. Hehehe. Don't worry JtheChosen1 I gave my word and I intend to keep it. And, once again, you must wait to see how the plot develops.

Jack: You don't have the slightest idea, do you?

Damian: Of course he does. He has to stick to the canon for the most part. And besides, where would be the fun in reading if you already know what is going to happen?

Me: Exactly. Now…On with the disclaimer!

Damian: He is only my master.

Me: GO!

* * *

We join Link in the outside of Hyrule Castle…

"Why do these guards have to be so freaking annoying? I only want to see the Great Fairy (GF) not kidnapp the princess." Link grumbled after being thrown out for the fifth time.

"Well, it's your own fault. You keep wandering in the open. You have to be stealthier." Navi said slightly exasperated. Link continued grumbling but did as Navi said and found an "inconspicuous" pair of rocks.

"Wonder why those rocks are here. Anyway, let's blow them up!" Link said, happy to put his bombs to good use. After blowing the rocks he found a small hole and crawled inside. "Damn I'm good! I found the fountain! Go me." Link said happily and played Zelda's Lullaby. The loud obnoxious laughter filled the room. "Damn that's annoying." Link said.

"Greetings young one. I'm the GF of Magic. I'll grant you a magic spell." The GF said and threw Link a small crystal. "If that's all…"

"Wait! I was wondering if you could tell me about a friend of mine…" Link said. The GF just floated there and looked at Link.

"You mean the Child of Darkness that normally travels with you? Yes, I know of him. But I cannot tell you about him. We, the Great Fairies, have recently made an oath not to talk about him." The GF said and disappeared.

"Why is it no one knows Damian's past and those who know it have sworn not to tell?" Link wondered and left. He paid the Mask Salesman and received the Mask of Truth. "I wonder why he wants this." Link asked himself. He followed the river and encountered the Owl perched on a wall next to some rocks.

"Ah, we meet again young hero." The Owl said and gave another boring speech. "Well, I will distract you no longer." The Owl said and prepared to set flight.

"Wait! I wondered if you could-" Link began but was cut short by the Owl.

"Yes, I know whom you speak about, but I cannot tell you anything he doesn't want to tell you himself." The Owl said and took flight.

"So, I have to ask him directly. Damn, I hope he's in a good mood." Link said and continued following the river. He arrived at the waterfall and began pacing around. "Fuck! Damian didn't tell me how to enter Zora's Domain. Now, what do I have to do?" Link said and continued to pace around until he noticed something engraved in the ground. "Huh?" He approached it and read. "Damn, so all I have to do is play Zelda's Lullaby?" He did it and the waterfall split open. After congratulating himself he entered the gate and found himself in Zora's Domain.

"You finally arrive, Link." Said a voice behind him. Link did a replay of what he had done in Death Mountain (Chapter 5) and turned to glare at the owner of the voice.

"Damn it Damian! Why do you enjoy doing that?!" Link asked.

"Comic amusement." Damian said shrugging. "Besides I deem it payback for taking so long. What, decided to make out again with the little bitch? Or did her nana catch your eye? You should learn to keep it in your pants." Damian said smirking at Link's blush.

"I hate you, you know that?" Link said glaring daggers at Damian.

"Only too well. Come, we need to give this letter to the king." Damian said and began walking in the direction of the throne room. "Oh, before I forget. Take this scale Link, it will allow you to hold your breath longer." Damian said and gave Link a silver scale. They arrived at the throne room and Damian told the king that Lord Jabu-Jabu had swallowed Princess Ruto and that they could help her, he showed the king a letter and the king allowed them to pass. "Let's go, Link. There's another GF fountain in this area, you should visit her. I'll just wait outside." Damian said and led Link to a cave. Link entered and played "bitch's lullaby" as Damian called it. The loud obnoxious laughter sounded yet again. After being gifted with Farore's Wind he asked the GF to who had they sworn not to speak about Damian.

"Do NOT speak his name, young one! A force far greater than that of the goddesses has demanded that we do not speak about him." The GF said and disappeared. Link exited still thinking what kind of force could be more powerful than the goddesses. He didn't see Damian and went around looking for him. He found him staring right into Jabu-Jabu's eyes.

"I could tell him. But what would be the point? It won't change a thing." Damian said, apparently talking to Jabu-Jabu. "He is here, open up you fat bastard!" Jabu-Jabu opened its mouth and swallowed them.

"WHAT'S WITH THE SPIRITUAL STONES AND ME HAVING TO ENTER MOUTHS ALL THE TIME?!" Link yelled.

"Who knows? We should get going. We need to find another brat." Damian said, looking in a far worse mood Link had seen him in a long time. A few minutes and several electric shocks later they found Princess Ruto. After confirming Damian's diagnose of being a brat she fell through a hole in the ground and they had to follow her. Several hours later (they had to stop so Link could rest his arms) they were in a room with flying stingrays and a not so deep pool. Damian, whose mood had only worsened, got sick of watching Link miss with his slingshot. "Gah! That's it! I'm gonna kill these bitches myself!" He roared and began focusing a large amount of energy. "I command you to burn my enemies into oblivion! Come forth river of the damned! Phlegethon!" Damian said and the water turned red and began to boil. The enemies staying there cried in pain and did not rise.

"Holy Shit, Damian! What the hell was that?! And is that blood?!" Link asked now doubly afraid of pissing Damian off.

"That's the Phlegethon. The River of Boiling Blood. It's where the souls of the wrathful and the slothful suffer eternal punishment. It's a dark spell known only to those of my bloodline. I'll tell you about that later, right now we have more pressing issues." Damian said. After carrying Ruto for a few more hours and finding the Boomerang they found the Zora Sapphire. Ruto started to wriggle and Link threw her up. After she was kidnapped and killing a giant octopus. They continued to advance. "That's the core of this fucker. Let's go in and make sure to kill the source of the jellyfishes." Damian said. They entered and Link saw a giant mutant. "That's Barinade a mutant. Hit it with your boomerang and keep on doing that." Damian said and sidestepped a thunderbolt. Link did as he was told and kept doing that until a thunderbolt was headed for him.

"Damn, guess this is it." Link said and closed his eyes awaiting death…

"GAAAAHHHHHH!!!" A scream of pain ripped the air. Link opened his eyes and saw Damian twitching because of the continued thunderbolt hitting him. "S-s-snap o-o-out o-of I-it. K-k-kill it!" Damian said. Link nodded and killed Barinade.

"You ok man?" Link asked.

"Of course I'm ok you asshole. That was merely a thunderbolt. I've survived worse." Damian said standing up. "Now, let's get out of this giant sardine." Damian said and vanished into the shadows.

"Why did he do that?" Link asked and saw Ruto waiting for him in the blue light. "I see." Link said wishing he could vanish into the shadows too.

After a lot of yelling and Link falling into the water Ruto got to the point. "I will give you the Sapphire but you have to marry me in the future." Ruto said.

"Hehehe, mind if I'm your best man?" Damian said snickering. Link shot a glare at him and took the Zora's Sapphire. "Well that is the last one. I suppose that soon it'll be goodbye, huh? I guess I should tell you a bit about me." Damian said. "I'll tell you a bit now and the rest in the ranch after you take those trinkets to the little bitch." Damian said and his eyes became glassy. "I'm a Child of Darkness. My father gave me a mark, and that became my surname, the Shinotsuki, the Moon of Death. My parents died when I was seven. And that's as far as you will hear here." Damian said and began to leave. "I'll see you later…my friend." He said and left.

"Wow, he really did tell me about himself. And he thinks of me as a friend." Link said to himself. He left and walked to the castle, he reached it and it started to rain. After a series of events that we all know by heart (at least those of us who have played OoT) Link got the Ocarina of Time and learnt the Song of Time. He walked into the Temple of Time and played the Song. He saw the Master Sword and took it. It all went to hell after that.

* * *

Me: That's it! The end of the childhood arc! The real chaos starts now!

Damian: So I no longer matter?

Me: What?! You're as important as Link! Of course you'll be back! Sharpen your blades.

Damian: Very well. Read and Review.


	7. Chapter 7

Me: Chapter seven and the first chapter of the grown-up arc.

Jack: Hey, where's the psycho?

Mike: You mean the other one?

Jack: What?! Mike actually insulted me?! This is precious!

Me: Don't get exited and think about it. You and I are two psychos and we're both here so you had to be asking about our third resident psycho. Damian is getting ready for this arc of the fic, so he'll probably join us in the closing A/N. Say the fucking disclaimer and let's allow chaos to rule!

Jack & Mike: He only owns the third psycho.

Me: CHAOS! COME UNTO ME!

* * *

Link has awoken after seven years of being sealed. Let's see his reaction after finding he has grown…

"HOLY FUCK!" Link screamed and started to scan his grown up body. "I'm not so bad looking, if I do say so myself." Link said. Navi shook her head and sighed exasperated.

"Yeah Link, you're a real hunk. Now pay attention to the fat old man." Navi said. Link nodded but continued to study his own body. After the fat old man introduced himself as Rauru he told Link to awaken the Sages and gave him the Light Medallion he sent Link back to the Temple of Time. There Link was met by a "guy" (yeah right) wearing some strange clothes that reminded Link of Impa.

"You must be the Hero. I'm Sheik, the last of the Sheikah. You must travel to Kakariko Village and go to the Graveyard; there is an item there that you need to enter the Forest Temple. But be careful, Ganondorf has filled Castle Town with the living dead." Sheik said and stood on the pedestal of the Master Sword. "I won't allow you to return to your original time until you have awakened the Sage of the Forest."

"Damn, zombies. Just lovely." Link said shivering and left the Temple. Upon exiting the first thing he noticed was the dead atmosphere and the ring of fire over Death Mountain. Still shivering at the thought of facing zombies again Link stepped into the square of the town. He got massive déjà vu. The guts and limbs of several zombies were thrown carelessly around, some of them were still moaning in what Link thought was pain and some were burning with familiar black flames. Link heard some moaning and the sound of flesh being ripped coming from one of the alleys and ran towards the source of the noise. He was greeted by a familiar sight. A man in black was tearing a zombie apart limb by limb. The man finished by ripping the zombie's heart out and crushing it with his hand. "Damian?" Link asked and the man turned to look at Link.

"Link?" The man (Damian) asked with eyes slightly wide in surprise. Suddenly his eyes narrowed in rage. "YOU BASTARD!" He roared charging at Link. Link barely avoided the punch Damian threw at him and stumbled back. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU ALLOWED GANONDORF TO TAKE THE TRIFORCE!" Damian roared while he continued to throw punches at Link. Damian stopped and glared at Link. "Do you have any idea how much people has died?! Do you have any idea how much your friends have suffered?! I trusted you, I thought you were my friend. I was planning to tell you about myself, about your past. What's worse is that, because of you, Malon has suffered worse than many. Her father lost the ranch, Ingo took over and beats the animals and threatens to rape her. And it's all your fault!" Damian said pointing a finger at Link, Link noticed he was wearing a black metallic gauntlet. "What do you have to say, before I unleash all my powers against you?!" Damian asked.

"I didn't know this would happen. I assumed Zelda would keep the stones safe and that Ganondorf would never get the Triforce. I'm sorry." Link said and Damian lowered his arm.

"I see…I, uh, I guess I should apologize as well. It was unfair to blame you for something you had no control over." Damian said. He approached Link and stretched his hand. "Wanna travel together again?" Damian asked. Link beamed and shook his hand.

"Sure! You're one of my best friends!" Link said and Damian actually smiled. "Besides I wouldn't know what to do without you." Link said and Damian hit him on the top of his head.

"Stupid asshole." Damian said while Link rubbed his head.

"Why were you killing zombies right now?" Link asked Damian still rubbing his head.

"It's my job. As the…last Son of Darkness." Damian said with shifty eyes. "Anyway, I promised Malon I would return as soon as possible. Let's go to the ranch." Damian said and began to walk away.

"Hey! I still remember you promised to tell me about yourself!" Link yelled at Damian. Damian stopped and looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"I did, didn't I? I guess I could tell you…But first there is something that I must do with the last inhabitant of Castle Town." Damian said and smiled that sadistic smirk Link had learnt to fear. They walked to the old guardhouse near the bridge. "Wait here." Damian said and entered. Link could only wince when he heard the guy inside screaming in agony and Damian laughing maniacally. After five minutes of screaming Damian opened the door and Link saw the guy, a guy wearing a purple robe, twitching in the ground and foaming by the mouth. "You should have chosen someone else to scam, you asshole." Damian said over his shoulder and walked away, Link following close by.

"What did you do to that guy?" Link asked, Damian looked and him and smirked sadistically.

"I gave him a mental trip to the land of fluffy bunnies, pretty flowers and singing little woodland critters." Damian said still smirking.

"What?! That was overkill!" Link said feeling sorry for the robed guy.

"He deserved it. He had me looking all over the plains for ten Big Poes. And when I got them, all he gave me was a stinking bottle." Damian said. "Anyway didn't you want to hear about me? I'll tell you a little bit…the scar I have was given to me by one of my best friends; she did it because we were competing for a weapon of great power, she died then. I may show the weapon to you later." Damian said. They reached the ranch and the first thing Link saw was the sign with Ingo's face on it. "Son of a bitch took over after Ganondorf killed the king. Chased Talon out when he saw a chance. Kept Malon only because he knew the ranch would collapse without her." Damian said and walked to the stable. There Link saw Ingo dressed in a fancy suit. "Link, tell him you want to ride the horses and pay him to do so. When you are inside the stable, play Epona's Song and ride her. Once you get the hang of it, challenge Ingo to a race and keep racing him until he bets Epona. I have a plan." Damian told Link and Link did as he was told. He won and Ingo betted Epona, he won yet again and Ingo threw a tantrum and locked Link in the area of the stable. Damian approached Ingo. "So, scumbag, you lost the offering to Bitch-dorf? How about a bet?" Damian said and took out a guitar, he played a song Link had never heard and a black horse with glowing red eyes and black armor galloped towards Damian. "This is my steed, Ktulu. I challenge you to a race, when I win you'll hand me the ranch and if you win I'll give you Ktulu. What do you say? Surely Bitch-dorf will like him better than Epona." Damian said and Ingo accepted. Two races later Ingo was hitting the ground.

"How can this be?! I lost?!" Ingo was screaming. Damian simply stood over him and sneered at him.

"Yes, you did. But don't worry, I won't keep the ranch for myself nor will I fire you. I'll do this…Malon, come here for a moment." He called and Malon came out of the barn. Link noticed she had grown nicely.

"Dark Boy you're back!" She squealed with delight and hugged Damian.

"Yeah, I'm back Farm Girl. I have good news. The ranch is yours." Damian said and Malon looked up at him.

"Really?" She asked.

"When have I ever lied to you? Of course it's yours. Just as much as I am." He said and kissed her. Link could not believe what he was seeing.

"Dude, did I really miss enough for you to become a romantic?" Link asked, ruining the moment.

"What are you talking about Fairy Boy? He has always been a romantic." Malon said. Damian blushed, broke the embrace and started to walk to his horse. "Is that the famous Ktulu?" Malon asked.

"Yes, he is the last one of his kind. A proud steed, he is as old as Epona." Damian said patting Ktulu's flanks. "The song that calls him is called the Call of Ktulu." He said still patting Ktulu. "We should get going, Link." He said to Link and turned to look at Malon again. "If I see your father I'll tell him to come back. See you later, my love." He said and kissed Malon again, he the mounted Ktulu and left. Link snickered a little but followed Damian out.

"So, have you and your Farm Girl, uh, "rolled in the hay"?" Link asked smirking. Damian stopped Ktulu and turned around to glare at Link.

"Don't. Ever. Say. That. Again." Damian said through clenched teeth. "If you so much as suggest that I have tainted Malon like that I'll make sure not even your precious goddesses are able to recognize you, you hear me?!" Damian asked, still glaring at Link. Link nodded, noticing a massive killing intent in that glare. "Good." And they rode the rest of the road to Kakariko Village in silence.

* * *

Me: There, seventh chapter up.

Damian: So, I nearly killed Link?

Me: Yep. And get ready, your past will be revealed soon.

Damian: Damn.

Me: Hehehe. Oh, that's right! The Phlegethon is a river of boiling blood that appears in The Divine Comedy. In the fourth circle of Hell. Just as cultural knowledge. And JtheChosen1 there's your price. Keep reading and reviewing. Am I forgetting anything?

Damian: Description...

Me: Right! Damian is about 6'6" tall, his hair is at waistlenght, he wears black leather armor and a black metallic gauntlet on his right arm. He still wears his black cloak.

Damian: Read and Review.


	8. Chapter 8

Me: Chapter eight!

Damian: So, what madness do I partake in today?

Me: Grave robbing!

Damian: Oh…Ok.

Me: Good. Oh and today is the day when your true story shall be revealed.

Damian: Fuck! He is only my master.

Me: GO!

* * *

Our heroes arrive at Kakariko Village shortly after nightfall.

"Damn, this place changed!" Link said. Damian shook his head at his partner's naïveté.

"Seriously Link. You look like a freaking kid! You were nowhere near as annoying as this when you were a kid!" Damian said. "That Sheik you mentioned told you to go to the Graveyard, huh? We should go there then." Damian said and led the way. They arrived at the Graveyard and the first thing Link noticed was the absence of Dampé, the Grave keeper.

"Hey, where's Dampé?" Link asked.

"He died some six plus years ago." Damian said. "Lucky he didn't turn into a Poe or a ReDead. That's his grave right there." Damian said and pointed to a grave with fresh flowers. "The kid who used to play here brings him flowers every third day or so." Damian said. "There is a rumor that Dampé was buried with a treasure he found shortly before he died. Think that's what Sheik wanted you to get?" Damian asked. Link thought about it and nodded. "Forgive us." Damian whispered and pushed the tombstone revealing an entrance. Before Link said anything, Damian grabbed his wrist and judo threw him into the hole. "Ah, how I missed doing that." Damian said sighing and jumped into the darkness. There Link was standing and glaring at Damian.

"I hate it when you do that." Link said and turned, screaming like a little girl when he saw the ghost of Dampé floating in front of him.

"Hello, you must want my treasure. I'll give it to you if you- HOLY-! Death, is that you?!" Dampé asked when he saw Damian. Damian flinched and began making "cut it out" signs.

"What?! Damian, you're Death?!" Link asked eyes wide like saucers. Damian sighed.

"You could say that. I'll tell you later ok?" Damian said. Link shook his head.

"No fucking way, Damian! I think I have waited enough to know. Besides, you were going to tell me anyway, so why not know?" Link said looking sternly at Damian. Damian glared at him and sighed.

"Ok, fine! I'll tell you, you annoying little bastard! My full name is Damian Thanatos Mors Chaos Shinotsuki and when I said I was a Child of Darkness, I meant it literally. I am a Daemon, the fruit of the union between an Angel and a Demon. (I'm going to use the Greek names, you can look them up in wikipedia) My father was Erebus, Supreme Commander of Hell's Army, Eldest Demon and First Born child of Chaos. My mother was Bia, Second-in-Command of the Celestial Host. I was born in the Void between dimensions and raised in Hell. I trained from the moment I could walk in order to survive. When I turned four years old I discovered something rather unique, I was not bound to control only the dark elements but all of them. My father found out about this and sent me to collect one of the most powerful weapons ever forged, the Death scythe. I met a young Angel on my way to the Scythe and she became my first "friend", I learned a lesson then, never trust an Angel. When we reached the Scythe she raised her spear and tried to kill me, saying that "the scythe belongs to Heaven, you foul creatures have no claim over it". We fought for thirteen days nonstop; in the end she shattered the sword my father had given me and made a cut over my right eye. I felt fear and anger rising up in me, so I ran and claimed the Scythe, then I used it against her and she was annihilated. I went back "home" and, for the first time, I saw a bit of pride in my father's eyes. I was named the Angel of Death and trained in all the techniques and spells known to Demons and Angels. When I was seven my mother died and my father tried to kill me…I killed him, took his gauntlet and ran away. When I was twelve, I returned to Hell and met my uncle Tartarus. While I was talking to him, the three lowest Lords of Hell barged in and attacked me, I killed them all. My uncle was next, he attacked me with his morning star and I killed him too. Before he died, he explained that I was the rebirth of Chaos and One of the last Two Lords of Hell. Then I met you." Damian finished telling his tale.

"_And I thought I had it bad_." Link thought. "Thanks for trusting me, Damian. It means a lot to me that you trust me enough to tell me this." Link said and Damian smiled a little. "Well, Dampé. What were you saying?" Link asked the dead grave keeper.

"Oh, forget it. Take my treasure. I owe the young man here for allowing me to remain with my treasure and resting in peace." Dampé said and threw Link the Hookshot.

"Hey! You could've poked my eye out!" Link yelled and Damian and Dampé chuckled.

"Let's go ya big wuss. We have to save your girlfriend." Damian said and left.

"Wait for me! And she is not my girlfriend!" Link yelled behind him and ran to catch up to him. The dead grave keeper remained behind chuckling.

"It's good he found a friend that doesn't want to destroy the world or kill him. They will probably be alright." Dampé said and finally left that world.

* * *

Me: Can you say "filler"?

Damian: That's-

Me: Your story! Well, some of it anyway. I won't reveal everything just yet. I will probably do so in another fic.

Damian: As you wish. Read and Review.


	9. Chapter 9

Me: Chapter nine.

Jack: So, psycho number three is a freak?! That's priceless!

Me: He's not a freak. He is just unique. Cultural Note!!!

Jack: Ahhhhhh! Quick, Mike, to the bunker!

Me: Ignore them. Erebus was the embodiment of Darkness in Greek mythology and Bia was the embodiment of Violence. Chaos was the One Being that originated everything and a Daemon was a creature between the gods and mortals. Also Thanatos and Mors both mean Death. Anyway that's today's Cultural Note. Hey! Get out of that fucking bunker and say the fucking disclaimer!

Jack & Mike: He only owns the "unique" being.

Me: LET'S ROLL!

* * *

Damian has told Link that he needs to visit the guy who lives in the windmill, so we join them in after the Creepy Windmill Guy (CWG) has noticed them…

"YOU! YOU'RE THAT FUCKING KID THAT PLAYED THAT STUPID SONG AND CAUSED THE WINDMILL TO SPEED UP!" CWG yelled at Link. Link shivered a little at the man's tone.

"I-I-I don't know what you're talking about." Link said.

"LIES! YOU STUPID KID!" CWG yelled. Damian, who was not in the best of moods, finally snapped.

"THAT'S IT! LISTEN TO ME YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! I'M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT! SO, TEACH LINK THE FREAKING SONG OR I'LL RIP YOUR SPLEEN OUT, SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT, RIP YOUR SPINE OUT AND BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH IT, YOU HEAR ME?!" Damian yelled at the CWG. He promptly shit himself and nodded. "Good." Damian said and exited the windmill.

"H-h-he w-was n-not s-s-serious, was he?" CWG asked Link. Link just looked at him with pity.

"I've seen him do worse. He let you go easy." Link said shaking his head. CWG whimpered.

"I DON'T HEAR MUSIC!" Damian yelled from the outside. Link and CWG shivered and got to it. Sixty seconds later Link exited the windmill and saw it had begun to rain outside.

"Huh? I wonder why it started to rain. And where the fuck is Damian?" Link asked himself and began walking around. When he found Damian he could not believe his eyes…Damian was standing on the path to Hyrule Field watching the sky and _laughing_! "HOLY-" Link screamed. Damian turned to see him, still smiling. Link noticed both of his eyes were light blue.

"Hey. I see you learnt the Song of Storms. That's good." He said and turned to watch the sky again. "You know…I don't understand why people dislike rainy days, I suppose, since I grew up in Hell, I still marvel at rain, but, it soothes me and eases my troubles. I actually love rain." He said and laughed again. "But I digress, we should leave. I'm sure Saria is waiting for you. It's impolite to keep a lady waiting." Damian said and walked to the field with Link right behind him. Link was a little freaked out at Damian's sudden happiness. "I sense something troubles you, my friend. Would you mind to share your troubles? Maybe I can help you." Damian said looking at Link with concern.

"That's it! Who are you and what did you do to Damian?!" Link asked, now downright freaked out.

"Oh, it's me. Just a side of me you have never seen. Trust me, if I wished I could rip your ears off and tear your throat out with them." Damian said with obvious confidence, so Link decided to believe him.

"I've been wondering for a while. Damian, why do your eyes change color suddenly?" Link asked, a little more calmly.

"Oh, that? It's a pretty accurate barometer of my emotions and the elemental affinity I have in that particular moment." Damian stated. "They are normally mismatched and my powers are balanced, when I feel really wrathful they turn red and my fire powers come more easily than others." Link thought about this and remembered that every time he had seen Damian with both red eyes Damian had been really angry. "Light blue means happiness and the element is wind, Dark blue is sadness and water's the game, bright yellow is annoyance and lightning rains." Link noticed he attempted to make a rhyme and groaned. "Light green is coldness or indifference and ice is at the order of the day, dark brown is seriousness or concentration and earth trembles. Silver is courage and metal bends, light brown is shyness and plants flourish. At last come the twins, the ones who share all, Darkness and Light are both hate and love. The dark one- Ah! Screw it! I can't rhyme worth a damn, so…full black without a hint of other color and full white are both hate and love. Don't ask why." Damian said and it stopped raining. "Damn it." He said and closed his eyes, when he opened them Link saw they had returned to their normal mismatched coloring.

"That's weird." Link said and Damian sighed.

"I know. And I have yet to meet another one with the same condition." Damian said. "Let's go, lover boy. I'm sure your green haired girlfriend is waiting for you." Damian said. Link blushed and glared at Damian.

"What about you, Dark Boy? Don't you believe Farm Girl misses you?" Link asked smirking smugly and it was Damian's turn to blush.

"So, at least I'm not a pedophile. You do remember kokiris don't grow, right?" Damian said.

"H-h-hey! I'm not a pedophile! She is just my friend!" Link stammered.

"Lighten up, will ya. I'm just messing with you. I'm sure you're not a pedophile." Damian said, Link nodded and walked ahead. "At least I don't think you are! But I have no evidence one way or the other!" Damian yelled at Link and chuckled when Link stopped as if he had been struck by lightning.

"You are a sadistic, psychotic and sick bastard, you know that?" Link said. Damian just chuckled some more and entered the Woods.

"You left out creepy and heretic." He said and disappeared into the Woods. Link shook his head and followed his psychotic friend. They entered Kokiri Village and Link saw the stated his former home was in…

"HOLY SHIT! What the fuck happened here?!" Link asked.

"Bitch-dorf happened. You see, the kokiris are pretty much spirits of Earth and Nature. They have enormous untapped potential. He reckoned that if he could enslave them he could control Nature to do his bidding. Throw in the fact that the Forest Temple is in here and here is the end result." Damian explained and torched a Big Deku Baba. "We should get moving. The Forest Temple is in the Sacred Forest Meadow." Damian said and entered the Lost Woods. After a few minutes in the Woods they found Mido "guarding" the path they needed to follow.

"Halt! Only Saria's close friends may enter!" He said, apparently trying to intimidate the much bigger men.

"What to do? Hmmm. Should I scar him for life or should I try to make this quick and painless?" Damian asked, succeeding in scaring Mido shitless. But Mido did not move. "Heh. Brave little fellow isn't he? Alright. Play that song she taught you. The one she only taught to her friends." Damian said and stepped back. Link nodded and played Saria's Song.

"That's the song Saria is always playing! I suppose you are her friend. You can come in, but you" Mido said pointing at Damian. "Can't."

"What?! Why you little-" Link said but Damian stopped him.

"It's Ok man. It's ok." Damian said. "I'll see you there." He whispered loud enough for Link to hear. Link nodded and left. The last thing he heard was a "dear goddesses, help me!" from Mido and a maniacal laughter from Damian. He shivered a little and continued running. When he arrived at the Sacred Forest Meadow, he noticed the huge monsters patrolling the maze. 20 minutes, seven spear wounds and four concussions later, he arrived at the spot where Saria sat playing her ocarina in the past. He had not noticed Sheik appearing there. After yet another stupid and boring speech Sheik taught him the Minuet of the Forest. Damian appeared behind Sheik while they were playing. "Bravo. Good duet." Damian said and Sheik gave a girly screech. "Ouch, that hurt my ears you bitch!" Damian said glaring at Sheik.

"W-w-what are you t-t-talking about?" Sheik asked, obviously nervous.

"Let me guess, you're gay, right?" Damian asked smirking. Sheik's eyes widened and "his" forehead turned red.

"W-w-what?!" Sheik asked. "I'm not gay!"

"Then why do you wear those tight pants? They make your voice sound funny." Damian asked still smirking. "Actually, you sound like a girl."

"That's because I am. I mean, I'm not a girl." Sheik said before sighing desperately. "Gah! Shut up! I'm here to guide him, not you!" Sheik said pointing at Link, who was picking his nose.

"Whatever. Now piss off, Sheik." Damian said, he then lowered his voice so only Sheik would hear him. "Or should I say Zelda?" Damian whispered and watched in satisfaction as Sheik's eyes widened in fear. "Leave now." Sheik nodded and disappeared in a flash of light. "Show off." Damian said.

"Hey, where did Sheik go?" Link asked. Damian ignored the question and pointed to a doorway above them.

"That's the entrance to the Temple. Use that trinket you got from Dampé and pull yourself up. I'll see you inside." Damian said and melted into the shadows.

"I'd forgotten how annoying that was." Link said and pulled out the Hookshot. "And why did he assume that I know how to use this fucking thing? Oh, well. How hard can it be?" Very hard indeed. After nearly poking his eyes out and nearly skewering Navi he pulled himself up to the entrance. Once he entered he saw Damian had been there, the Wolfos guts and fur on the ground were a dead give away.

"So, finally decided to join me?" Damian asked, leaning on the wall as if the carnage was not there. "We should continue. One of the Wolfos shitted itself when I was gutting it. Blood and Shit, not a good mix at all." Damian said and opened a door to continue. They reached a room with an elevator in it. "The boss is probably in the lowest level." Damian said and started to walk towards the elevator, but four Poes took the flames that kept the elevator running and left. "Fuck! It's those Poe bitches! I knew I should have destroyed them a long time ago. Now we're gonna have to hunt them down. Fuck!" Damian yelled and his eyes turned that dangerous shade of red. He took a deep breath and tried to calm down, key word tried. "Gah! I need to kill something! Let's go!" Damian yelled and Link nodded. They continued through the Temple, Damian killing everything that got in their way, until they reached a room with a staircase and an empty portrait. They went down the stair and heard a chuckle every now and then. They continued and reached a room with a huge hole in the floor. "Fucking undead bastards." Damian said, Link was about to ask him why but then he saw a couple of Stalfos rise and decided to unsheathe his sword. The fight was short and brutal; Damian used Ignis Fatuus and fought one of the Stalfos while Link dueled the other one. After two minutes both Stalfos were destroyed and Link started to relax. "Don't drop your guard, moron!" Damian yelled and a platform with two other Stalfos descended from the ceiling. "That's it! I've had it with these assholes!" Damian yelled and vanished the Ignis Fatuus. "I call upon the guardians of the damned, the keepers of the accursed. Come, Malebranche!" Damian said and a pair of monstrous claws shot from the ground, crushing and dragging the Stalfos into the darkness.

"What in fuck's name was that?!" Link asked.

"Those were the Malebranche, the Evil Claws. Well, a couple of them. They are the guardians of the Malebolge or Eight Circle of Hell. Same as with the Phlegethon, only I can use that spell." Damian said and pointed at the treasure chest that had just materialized. "You should open that, it might be useful." Damian said, Link nodded and opened the chest finding the Fairy Bow. "I said it before and I'll say it again, I can't believe the fool's luck." Damian said shaking his head and shrugging off the daggers Link was glaring at him. "Let's do this, you go back and shoot the portraits that have a Poe in them, I'll go this way and do the same. We rejoin here in six minutes." Damian said and began to walk away.

"Wait! Do you have a bow?" Link asked. Damian stopped, turned and raised an eyebrow.

"Sure." He said and materialized a beautifully crafted bow. "This is the Aether bow. It's simple but it should do the trick." Damian said and left.

"Show off." Link muttered and left to do as he was instructed. After shooting the three portraits and destroying the Red Poe he walked into the circular room and saw Damian sitting in the ground and meditating.

"Good, you've arrived. Let's go." He said standing up and walking away. After a long while they found and killed the Green Poe. "We should return to the Elevator Room and see if the last bitch is there." Damian said. They did and found the Purple Poe crying on the ground. "Don't worry, bitch. You will join your sisters very soon." Damian said menacingly and the Poe actually shivered in terror. Damian smirked and muttered something Link couldn't hear. Link reached for his bow but stopped when he saw a gauntlet erupted from the Poe's chest. The Poe cried in agony and vanished. The purple fire returned to its torch and Link saw Damian's silhouette in the dark. He turned to his side and saw Damian standing there. "Good work, Shadow. You may return now." The Damian at Link's side said and the Damian (Shadow) near the elevator nodded and disappeared.

"What was that?!" Link asked Damian pointing at the spot Shadow had been just a moment ago.

"That was my shadow. It did what it was ordered to do. Shadow is very efficient, isn't it?" Damian said and stepped into the elevator, Link following closely behind. They descended and found a circular room with a gate right in front of the door towards the boss. "Fuck this. I'm sick of this place." Damian snarled and broke the gate. "Let's kill this bastard and get out of here." Damian said and Link nodded. They entered the boss chamber. Link walked around the room and Damian stood there thinking. Link tried to exit and saw spears blocking the way. Damian looked up. "Idiot! Watch behind you!" Damian said and Link turned. There he saw the King of Evil.

"Ganondorf!" Link screamed. The King of Evil smirked and removed his face, revealing a horned skull.

"That's not Bitch-dorf! That's his phantom. That's Phantom Gannon!" Damian said. Phantom Gannon chuckled and entered a painting. "Damn it! Link, shoot it when it comes out of the painting." Link nodded and readied his bow. After a few times repeating the same pattern Phantom Gannon's horse disappeared and left Phantom Gannon floating there. "Now Link! Reflect its magic with your sword. Then hit it!" Damian said and, once again, was right. Five minutes later Phantom Gannon started to disintegrate.

"Good job kid. But you just defeated my phantom. When you fight the real me it will not be as easy." Ganondorf's voice sounded in the room. "What a useless creation that phantom was, I'll vanish it in the gap between dimensions!"

"Oh no you don't!" Damian yelled and shoved Phantom Gannon away from the portal.

"Why do you interfere, Death! You should help me!" Ganondorf's voice said.

"Because I don't side with losers! Your fate is written, Bitch-dorf! And you will lose!" Damian said and closed the portal.

"Why did you save Phantom Gannon?" Link asked and Damian sighed.

"I didn't save it." Damian said and reached behind his back. "I'm just going to do what must be done. This creature makes a mockery of Life, so…" Damian was holding a scythe. "It must be completely destroyed." Damian said and cleaved the Phantom in two. Phantom Gannon cried in agony and burned to nothing. "Now, enter that ring of light and I'll meet you later." Damian said and vanished into the shadows.

"Ok, that was seriously creepy." Link said and entered the light.

* * *

Me: There. That's the longest, most insane chapter I've ever written.

Damian: What did I do to the boy? I don't remember.

Me: You gave him a trip to his worst nightmare. That's all.

Damian: Oh well. Read and Review.


	10. Chapter 10

Me: Phew. Tenth chapter.

Jack: I can't believe you actually have written ten chapters! I deemed you too lazy to do that!

Me: Hehehe. I know. I amaze myself sometimes. But I have an announcement. It was brought to my attention by JtheChosen1 that my closing comment could be taken wrong so I'll elaborate. Damian sent Mido on a mental trip to a place of madness, death and pink fluffy ferrets!

Mike: What?! That's awful!

Damian: No it isn't. It's fun! At least for me and the Master.

Me: That's right my friend. Now, it's disclaimer time!

Jack & Mike: He doesn't own.

Me: Let us begin this.

* * *

Last time our heroes successfully destroyed Phantom Gannon and Link entered the blue light. We join him in the Chamber of Sages…

"OH MY GODDESSES LINK! YOU'RE A HUNK!" Saria yelled. Link blushed and suddenly found the floor to be highly interesting.

"Nah, not really." Link said.

"Of course you are! Don't you dare demean yourself!" Saria said. "But I digress. I have awakened as the Sage of the Forest. I must remain here. I'll give you the Forest Medallion." She said and lifted her arms. Suddenly a big green medallion hit Link on the head and nearly left him unconscious. "Eek! Sorry!"

"That was pretty amusing, actually." Said a voice that made both Link and Saria jump four feet in the air. "Glad to see I still have it in me to scare you two turtledoves." The newly materialized Damian said, chuckling at their blushes.

"Any important reason you are here, Damian?" Link asked, still trying to steady his heartbeat.

"As a matter of fact…no." Damian said and chuckled some more as they anime dropped. "At least not important in the greater scale of things. I came to offer you something. I know the two of you miss each other, therefore I'll make a deal with you. I'll stay here as Saria's replacement for twelve hours and she can go with you for that period of time. However! No one will be able to see you, you will be as wraiths, capable of interacting with the world but incapable of interacting with the living." Damian said. Saria was overjoyed but Link was skeptical.

"What's in it for you?" He asked Damian.

"What, can't I do something out of the goodness of my heart?" Damian asked. Link raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Fine you ungrateful bastard! Deal's off!" Damian yelled and started muttering under his breath. "Ungrateful son of a bitch, stupid idiot, fucking pedophile." Damian muttered a lot more curses and Link was beginning to think he actually wanted to help out of kindness.

"S-s-sorry, it's just that you mostly never do anything without a purpose." Link said. Damian considered this and turned.

"I guess you are right. But I do have a purpose. This might be the last time you will see Saria, therefore I don't want you to part just as partners but as friends. Besides you owe her seven years of games. I cannot stay here for seven years so you'll have to manage with twelve hours. So, it's a deal?" Damian asked. Link and Saria looked at each other and nodded. Damian smiled a little. "Then get ready. This will probably hurt." He said and focused a large amount of energy. "By the authority of Darkness, in the name of Death. You two are to wander the plane of the living as neither dead nor living, but as shadows of your former selves until the Dark One or the Fourth Horseman say otherwise." He finished saying his incantation and shot the energy at them. Saying it hurt was an understatement. Link and Saria felt their innards burn into ashes and get rearranged, bones breaking and moving. After five minutes of that torture the pain stopped. "Good, the spell was a success. You may leave now, but remember our deal. Twelve hours, no more. I will send my steed to fetch you when the time comes." Damian said and took Saria's place. "Now go! Have all the fun you can." He said and opened a portal beneath their feet. They found themselves standing in the Sacred Forest Meadow and looked at each other.

"_Well, at least she didn't turn into a monster or something." _Link thought and Saria had similar thoughts. "Well, what should we do?" Link asked and Saria giggled.

"Why don't you tell me of your exploits, Link? Later we can go swimming or play hide and seek." Saria said, obviously exited.

"Sure." Link said. _"Damian, thank you."_

Meanwhile in the Chamber of Sages…

"DIN, NAYRU AND FARORE! WHAT IS A CREATURE OF DARKNESS DOING IN THE CHAMBER?!" Rauru has found our very own Angel of Death.

"Shhhh. You're hurting my ears. I have many names but, since I don't like you, you may call me Mors. And I am covering for Saria for a little while." Damian said shrugging. "So I suggest you control those outbursts before I get angry. Trust me, your goddesses fear my name and rightly so. It would not be any problem to extinguish this pathetic dimension. So shut up and leave me to my meditation." Damian said with a glare, Rauru whimpered and nodded. "Good."

Twelve hours, one story, sixteen games of hide and seek, two swimming trips and a major nosebleed later. Ktulu arrived at the Sacred Forest Meadow, where Link and Saria were playing their ocarinas. "Ah, Ktulu, is it time already?" Link asked and the black horse nodded. "Ok. Well, I guess this is goodbye, huh? I'll miss you, Saria. You've always been my best friend." Link said and hugged Saria. Ktulu stomped the ground and a portal opened beneath the again.

"Awww, isn't that cute? They are saying goodbye." Damian said and Link broke the embrace to glare at his companion. "Sorry to interrupt but we had a deal. Besides, I actually wanted you to enjoy some time with her. You see, I lied, you will see her again. Now, by the power of the Fourth Horseman you are restored upon the plane of the living in your own flesh and bone." Damian said and looked more closely at Saria. "Saria, why is there blood under your nose?" He asked. Saria blushed and teleported them out of the Chamber. "Well, that was odd." Damian said. They had been transported to the GDT and saw a leaf sprouting in the ground. The Great Deku Tree Sprout (GDTS) told Link he was a Hylian and told him to get going. "Fucking twig, giving orders, stupid asshole." Damian muttered under his breath.

"Damian, why do you talk to yourself so much?" Link asked.

"Because I like to have an intelligent conversation every once in a while and since I cannot go to the ranch whenever I get those urges I talk to myself." Damian said. "We should go to Death Mountain. The Gorons are the keepers of the Fire Temple. Darunia should know where it's located. See ya there." Damian said and melted into the shadows.

"Damn it! He could have taken me with him, but no, I have to walk. Stupid bastard." Link said to himself. "You know, he's right. It is oddly comforting to talk to someone who understands you. Anyway, I believe there's a shortcut to Goron City in the Lost Woods." Link said and walked to the Woods. He found the shortcut after twenty minutes. He entered and found himself in the City.

"What took you so long?" Damian asked him, for once standing in front of him.

"Couldn't find the way." Link said and Damian looked at him as if he was stupid.

"Link, Death Mountain _is_ a mountain. It's pretty damn hard to miss." Damian said.

"I know! But I was looking for the shortcut." Link said.

"Whatever. Listen, I was talking to Link over there" Damian said pointing to the only Goron visible in the City. "And he told me his dad, that's Darunia, went to the Fire Temple inside the crater to rescue the other Gorons from Volvagia, a fire breathing dragon that was recently revived by Bitch-dorf to eat the Gorons. He told me there's a shortcut into the crater in Darunia's room and gave me this tunic for you." He said giving Link a red tunic. "That's a Goron Tunic, it's resistant to heat. You should be able to survive inside the crater if you wear it. Now, let's go." He said and left for Darunia's room. After removing a statue from their way, they found themselves inside Death Mountain Crater.

"Phew. This tunic sure is a life saver. I bet you are roasting in that cloak of yours." Link said and Damian shook his head.

"No, actually this temperature is a little cold. I should have brought a thicker cloak." Damian said and snickered at Link's expression. "Relax, will ya. Remember I grew up in Hell, this is nothing."

"Well…that's true." Link said. They found Sheik near the entrance to the Fire Temple. After another boring and completely pointless poem, Sheik taught Link the Bolero of Fire.

"Ok, now piss off. I still don't like you, bitch." Damian said. Sheik nodded and left. "I don't like that bitch." Damian said and entered the Temple. They took the door to the left of the entrance and found Darunia. After another boring speech, Darunia entered the boss chamber (I never found out how he entered without the boss key). "Real helpful fellow, isn't he?" Damian said, sarcasm oozing from his words. They advanced, and advanced and advanced some more (What? I never really liked the Fire Temple. Guess which one is my favorite. If you guess I'll allow you to choose another torture for someone.), rescuing Gorons and found the Megaton Hammer. "Finally you have a decent weapon. Let's go down and slay the dragon!" Damian said and phased through the ground. "See you there."

"Damn it. I have to walk down there." Link said and began the long descent. Twenty minutes and several burns later, Link arrived at the entrance and saw Damian killing some bats.

"Die, you annoying flying rats! Absolute!" He yelled and the bats froze in midair and crashed on the ground. "Heh, I think I may have overdone it. Oh well." Damian said shrugging and turned to look at Link. "If you're done gapping like the idiot you are, we should go help Darunia." Damian said and Link nodded. They entered the boss chamber and Link didn't notice anything. "Link, you asshole! Look above you!"

"Huh?" Link asked and turned upwards. Volvagia was flying there, breathing fire in our hero's direction. "Holy Fuck!" Link screamed, barely avoiding the flame.

"Wait until it burrows in the lava holes, when it emerges hit it with the hammer!" Damian shouted, shooting his own fireballs at Volvagia. Link did it and after some hits, Volvagia shot upwards and tried to escape. "Oh no, you don't!" Damian snarled and bent over. "Ugh. GAAAAHHHHHH" Damian screamed and a pair of wings shot from his back, ripping flesh and fabric and shooting a huge amount of blood to the air. "Soul Hunter!" Damian yelled and flew right into Volvagia's stomach, withdrawing a small orb of energy. "Soul Crusher!" Damian said and crushed the orb with his hand. Volvagia's body fell crashing into the lava. "You will never know rest again, you bastard." Damian said and spat at the point where Volvagia fell. He descended and waited.

"What the hell?! You have wings?!" Link asked, pointing quite unnecessarily at the rather large wings. (The wings are roughly 7 feet long and, as is the case with his eyes, are mismatched in both coloring and types, his right wing is black and bat-like and his left one is white and bird-like.)

"Yes, I do. I seem to recall telling you my mother was an Angel" He pointed at his left wing. "And my father was a Demon" He pointed at his right wing. "Besides, I AM the Angel of Death. I'm entitled to have wings. But enough about me. Enter the light and get the fucking medallion." Damian said and vanished again.

"I hate it when he does that." Link grumbled and entered the light.

* * *

Me: That was the tenth chapter. And I am serious about that little guessing contest.

Damian: Read and Review.


	11. Chapter 11

Me: Eleventh chapter! Wahoo!

Damian: Congratulations.

Me: Thank you, my friend. Now, JtheChosen1 won our little contest. Feel free to drop your requested victim and, if you want, punishment. And don't worry; after I finish this fic, I'm planning on doing a sequel!

Mike: Heaven help us all.

Jack: For once I agree. May your victims know the warm embrace of Darkness.

Me: HEY! I'm not that bad…am I?

Damian: Of course not. I'm having the time of my life here.

Me: Glad you like it. I hope you continue to do so after the little…surprise I have for you in the Water Temple and in my favorite Temple…the Shadow Temple!

Damian: He only owns me and my madness.

Me: Company…Fall OUT!

* * *

We join Link in the Chamber of Sages conversing with his Sworn Brother…

"YOU WON'T GIVE ME THE MEDALLION IF I DON'T GIVE YOU A HUG?!" Link screamed. Darunia nodded happily.

"That's right! You're my Sworn Brother, yet you've never given me a hug. That's just wrong." Darunia said. Link weighted his options, on one hand, he needs the Medallion, and on the other hand, he loves his spine. A shame his need is more important that his wants.

"Ok. I'll do it." Link said and Darunia smiled happily. Exactly five point two seconds later, Link's upper spine was dust; his ribs were cracking and one of his lungs was starting to collapse. "Darunia…I can't…breathe…" Link managed to get past the death-grip Darunia called a hug.

"Oops. So sorry about that." Darunia said and released Link.

"Sorry to interrupt a family moment, but the hero should leave. He still has to awaken three other sages." Damian said, materializing behind Darunia and making the newly awoken Sage of Fire scream like a little girl. "Wow. I didn't think Gorons could jump like that…or scream like little girls. Moron, we should leave…See ya in the raging inferno, Sage of Fire." Damian chuckled and left.

"…That boy is creepy." Darunia said and Link nodded. "He is right though. You should leave. Here's the Medallion." Darunia said and lifted his arms. Link looked upwards in order to catch the Medallion, but the Medallion hit the back of his head.

"SHIT! THAT HURT!" Link yelled at the top of his lungs.

"You know, idiot. I'm standing right next to you…there's no need to yell." Damian said. Link looked around and saw he was standing in Death Mountain Crater again. "It seems your Brother freaked out when the Medallion hit you and transported you out here. Anyway, there's a Great Fairy fountain in that cave over there. Let's go there." Damian said and walked away.

"Won't this GF freak out when she sees or senses you?" Link asked, remembering when he and Damian met their first GF.

"Even if she does that doesn't change the fact you need whatever help she can offer. Besides, I have grown much more skilled in the seven years you spent sleeping. It's impossible for me to grow more powerful. She will shit her fountain before she even gathers the courage to look at me, never mind talking to me." Damian said and they entered the GF fountain. Cue in bitch's lullaby and loud obnoxious laughter.

"Welcome young ones; I am the GF of Courage. I'll give the young hero more magic power." The GF said and Link felt more power flowing through his body. "Young hero and young Child of Darkness, the goddesses are protecting you and they are pleased you have healed your heart. If you become weary of battle, come here to be refreshed." The GF said and disappeared.

"Well…that was odd. I would have thought they would all fear me. Oh well, it is of little consequence. Link, I'll wait for you in Zora's Domain." Damian said and left.

"Damn it. Once again I have to walk while he goes and has fun. I wonder what he does for entertainment…" Link thought and shuddered. "He probably guts monsters for fun…Or "rolls in the hay" with Malon." Link thought and snickered. Suddenly he felt a chill in the air and turned very slowly. "W-w-who's there?" Link asked and saw Damian's silhouette. "Damian, is that you?" The figure entered the light and Link saw it wasn't Damian but his Shadow. "Shadow, what do you want?"

Shadow just stared at him and threw something at Link. Link caught it and saw it was the torso of a ReDead with a message carved in the flesh. The message read. "I told you never to suggest that again! I will let you go with a warning this time, but if you suggest that again I'll make sure your bloodline dies with you!" Link swallowed hard and looked at Shadow.

"He is mad, isn't he?" He asked Shadow nervously, Shadow nodded and opened a portal on the ground and pointed it. "You want me to enter that portal?" Shadow nodded and jumped in, Link jumped in shortly after and found himself in Zora's Domain and noticed something a little bit different…"HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE?!"

"No need to yell. It's just a little cold. No big deal." Damian, who had just appeared, said, scaring Link and forcing him to jump 6 feet in the air. "You just keep improving your jumping skills, don't you?" Damian snickered.

"Why is it you enjoy torturing me?" Link asked glaring at Damian. Damian shrugged.

"Comic amusement. Here, catch!" Damian said throwing Link a blue tunic. "That's a Zora Tunic. It keeps you from drowning. You'll probably need it and it was free, so there. We should go, there's an interesting looking cave in the fountain." Damian said and began to walk away. "Oh that's right! Here." Damian said handing Link a giant sword. "That's a Biggoron Sword; it was a pain in the ass to get it so take good care of it." Damian said and walked away.

Link stood there dumbfounded, Damian had gotten a sword for him. That was plain weird. But he shrugged it off and walked away. They entered the Ice Cavern and, after a whole lot of curses and fireballs later, they reached a room where a lone White Wolfos stayed. Damian had grown mighty pissed off because of the cold so he charged at the Wolfos and ripped its lower jaw off. "That was a bit too much, Damian." Link said and shuddered at Damian's glare. "Never mind." Link said meekly. Sheik appeared shortly afterwards and, after another pointless poem, taught Link the Serenade of Water. "You should get out of here, Sheik. Damian's been pretty pissed lately. He might even rip your arms of and beat you to death with them." Link told Sheik, who just nodded and disappeared.

"Good riddance! I hate that bitch. We should go, see ya at Lake Hylia." Damian said and vanished into the shadows.

"Ha! Now I don't have to walk! I can just play the Serenade and warp to the Lake!" Link said happily and warped. When he arrived he saw Damian standing on a small pillar near the main isle of Lake Hylia. "What the hell are you doing there?" Link asked. Damian vanished and materialized next to Link.

"I was getting these." He said, giving Link a strange looking arrow. "Those are Fire Arrows. They ignite with your magic. I'll join you inside the Temple…I don't like diving too much." Damian said and vanished.

"Strange guy, he loves rain but he doesn't like diving? He gets wet anyway! I should probably stop talking to myself and enter the Temple. Yes I should do that." Link said to himself and entered the Temple. After meeting Ruto and her vanishing act (I always wonder how the hell she does that…) Link continued to advance until he found Damian standing in front of a door.

"Glad you could join me, Link. I can sense a great power of Darkness inside this room. Be ready." Damian said and opened the door. They found themselves in a room that extended forever. Link walked to the other door and found it locked.

"Hehehe! You stupid kid! Inside this room you will face your greatest trial yet! Kid, meet your shadow!" Ganondorf's voice rumbled in the room and Link's shadow jumped out of the ground.

"Bitch-dorf, you stupid asshole! What do you hope to accomplish?! There are two of us and even if you tried you can't turn my shadow against me! I am my own dark side!" Damian yelled. Ganondorf could be heard chuckling.

"I know that, Death. That's why I revived an old acquaintance of yours." Ganondorf said and Damian noticed a shadow rising from a portal that appeared on the ground.

"You!" Damian snarled at the shadow. Link looked at the newly arrived shadow and saw it had a startling resemblance to Damian, same hair length, same face shape and wore gauntlets exactly like the one Damian wore. "I see you could not stay dead, could you…Father." Damian said with venom dripping from his words. Link's heart stopped for a second; that was Damian's father?! "No, you idiot. My real father is dead, I killed him, remember? This is his shadow. A Demon's shadow lives on, even if the Demon is dead. The shadow merely carries the memory and essence of the Demon, but it's not truly alive. That shadow has about a third of my father's powers." Damian said, still glaring at the shadow. "But that third is enough to wipe out this dimension and most of the people within it. I'll take care of it; you defeat your own shadow." Damian said, drew his scythe and charged at the shadow of his father.

"Ok, here I go!" Link said and charged at Dark Link. They were evenly matched, for each hit Link delivered Dark Link delivered another. Link had an idea and drew the Biggoron Sword. It did the trick, Dark Link's sword didn't have the range necessary to hit Link and avoid being hit. A few minutes later, Dark Link vanished and Link nearly collapsed out of exhaustion. He looked around and saw Damian fighting with the shadow of his father.

"Damn you! You made my life a literal Hell! You never wanted me! You kept comparing me with your older children and always belittle me! This time, I'll make sure your whole essence is completely obliterated!" Damian snarled and cleaved the shadow into many tiny pieces. "Now, cast my enemy into eternal oblivion! Khaos!" Damian yelled and a vortex of darkness engulfed the pieces of the shadow. "I have had my revenge, Father. I will stop hating you; I hope that, as you float in eternal darkness, you can acknowledge me as your son." Damian said with a hint of sadness in his voice. "Link, I, uh, I'm afraid I won't be staying in this Temple any longer. This has reopened some wounds I would prefer to seal before I do anything else. When you kill the monster in here, go to the ranch. I'll probably be there. See you later." Damian said and vanished.

"Poor guy. And I thought not having parents sucked. I guess having them and having them hate you is worse." Link said and continued through the Temple and, with the aid of the Longshot, he finally reached the boss. After a few throws, Link started to wonder how to kill it, he then remembered the Fire Arrows and shot one at Morpha. It worked, the long tentacle evaporated, leaving the core unprotected. After a few arrows and slashes, Morpha died and Link entered the blue light. After the most pointless (apart from Sheik's) speech, Link received the Water Medallion and appeared in Lake Hylia. He headed for the ranch and arrived after nightfall. "Damn, they're probably asleep." Link said and headed to the barn, to sleep in the hay. When he opened the door, he heard something that made his blood run slightly cool. He heard moaning and grunting. "Sweet goddesses. They're not…are they?" Link thought, until he heard the loudest moan and grunt yet. "Sweet goddesses…" Link thought and decided to sleep in the silo.

* * *

Me: That was the eleventh chapter.

Mike: What in the name of all that is good where they doing?!

Jack: Hehehe. Isn't it obvious, they were "rolling in the hay"

Me: That's right. Sorry about being so vague, but I won't start writing that kind of material…yet.

Jack & Mike: Read and Review.

Me: Oh, and don't forget your prize!


	12. Chapter 12

Me: Chapter 12!

Jack: Is psycho 3 still screwing red-head?

Me: No. They are sleeping peacefully right now. Anyway…better start running, 'cuz it's time for today's cultural note.

Jack: Shit! Quick, to the bunker!

Me: Khaos means "gapping void" And that was today's cultural note. Since those two are still in the bunker…I'll do the disclaimer. Think about it…If I owned Zelda would I be writing here? Oh and I'm sorry for the delay. Med school is a bitch.

* * *

Link woke up with a rather nasty pain in the neck. "Damn it. Why did I sleep in the fucking silo? I don't remember." Link asked himself. He then remembered what drove him into the silo. "Dear goddesses. Did they really do it?" Link shuddered at the memory. "Better go out and ask Damian what we have to do now…" Link said and approached the door. There he saw a note pinned to the door. "Huh?" Link said and grabbed the note.

"_To the Stupid Idiot who slept on the manure cart…_

_Hope you wash yourself before you do anything else…_

_Anyway, Malon and I left for a picnic in Lake Hylia; if you wash before noon you can come here and ask what to do next. If you don't…just wait for us._

_The Dark One._

_Damian T. M. C. Shinotsuki."_

"WHAT?! I SLEPT ON THE MANURE CART?! DAMN IT!" Link yelled at the top of his lounges and dove headfirst into the water basin next to the door. "Whew. Thank the goddesses this basin was here. The letter said that if I washed before noon to go meet them at Lake Hylia, right?" Link asked Navi.

"Yes, that's what the letter said. I just hope they don't do a replay of last night's events in the Lake…" Navi said shaking slightly. Link shuddered and nodded. He walked outside and reckoned it was no later than ten in the morning. He mounted Epona and rode her to the Lake. He arrived sweaty and sun burnt.

"Damn it! Why did Damian choose today to go on a fucking picnic?! It's scorching out here! I should've worn the Goron Tunic." Link thought. He approached the edge of the Lake and saw a picnic basket and a blanket on the ground and (insert insane shuddering) their clothes. "Nayru, Din and Farore…please don't tell me they are doing it again." Link prayed in his mind. He heard giggling, laughing and splashing coming from the direction of the main isle in the Lake. He used the bridge and arrived to the sight of Malon dressed in a red swimsuit, giggling and pointing at a very soaked Damian.

"Glad you find it amusing, Malon." Damian said and suddenly grabbed Malon and jumped into the water. They emerged seconds later and he burst out laughing. "You should have seen your face! It was priceless!" Damian said still snickering.

"Well, don't get to used to it, Dark Boy. Or should I assume you wish to hurt me?" Malon said faking hurt and fear quite well, well enough for Damian to believe it.

"What?! Of course I don't want to hurt you! How can you even think that?! You are precious to me; I couldn't bring myself to hurt you!" Damian said, on the verge of an emotional display of sadness. Then Malon swam to where he was and kissed him.

"I'm just playing with you. I love you too." She said smiling. Damian smiled and closed in for another kiss when he heard Link laughing his guts out.

"All hail Damian, the hopeless romantic! The man who delivers death to monsters yet crumbles at the thought his Farm Girl might fear or abandon him!" Link said between chuckles. Damian glared hard at him and was about to send him to the 9th circle of Hell or lower when he remembered the next Temples.

"Better to allow him to laugh while he can. After those places, I don't know how much laughter will remain in him." Damian thought. "So, Link. I assume you washed before coming here." He said and Link nodded. "I just hope you didn't use the basin that was in the silo…" Damian said and Link stopped snickering and looked at Damian with a horrified look. "Oh yes. That was the water we used to…wash the horses!" Damian said and chuckled as Link face planted. "Anyway…to enter the next Temples I've heard that you need a special item that's hidden in Kakariko Village. Unfortunately it is inaccessible right now. I wonder if it could have been obtained in the past…" Damian said giving Link a pretty obvious hint. "Think about it, meanwhile Malon and I have an unfinished picnic to continue." Damian said and swam away with Malon.

"Why did he not tell me what to do directly?" Link asked himself. Navi sighed exasperated.

"Because it's _your _quest! You should have resolved every dungeon by yourself. He has practically done the whole quest for you! Besides he gave you the fucking answer already! You have to go to the Temple of Time and return to our original timeline." Navi said. Link thought about it for a moment and nodded. "Goddesses you are an idiot." Navi said and flew into Link's hat. Link mounted Epona and rode to Castle Town. Six scratches and four bites later he arrived at the Temple and saw Sheik. Sheik, being ever so useful (Oh shit! I'm drowning in my own sarcasm!), taught Link the Prelude of Light and vanished.

"Wonder why Sheik always does that…" Link thought and plunged the Master Sword back into the pedestal. He opened his eyes and saw he was a kid again. "Wow! I'm a kid again! Let's go! To Kakariko Village!" Link yelled and ran to Kakariko Village. He arrived panting and sweating. "Damn, forgot how far away it was…or how tiring it was to get here without Epona." Link panted and started to look around. "Now, the only place I can think that I haven't explored here is the Well…But how the hell am I supposed to enter the bottom of it?! I can't hold my breath for so long and I can't wear the Zora Tunic in this body! Hmmm, what to do?" Link asked himself and Navi smacked him.

"You idiot! Remember that in the future the well is dry and that the CWG said it had something to do with the Song of Storms!" Navi yelled at him and Link nodded meekly.

"Ok, to the windmill." Link said and walked to the windmill. After playing the Song of Storms and watching the windmill speed up, he exited the windmill and saw that the Well was completely dry. After congratulated Navi for being so smart and jumped into the Well…bad choice, he nearly broke his legs from the fall. "I should have measured the distance better." Link thought and entered the Bottom of the Well. Link's first impression was…"HOLY SHIT!!! THIS PLACE COULD BE DAMIAN'S HOME!" Link yelled at the huge amount of skeletons and blood littering the hallways and the huge amount of undead monsters. "I'm starting to wish Damian was here. He could tell me what is real and what isn't." Link thought. After twenty minutes, losing his shield twice, being bitten thrice and six acid burns he arrived at a room filled with hands reaching for the ceiling. "Wonder why those hands are there. Hands usually are attached to someone or something." He said and, being the genius he was, approached one of them. The hand suddenly moved and grabbed him. While he was trashing around a white and red undead monster emerged from the ground. The monster approached Link and lowered its head to bite him. Just as Link awaited death, the monster screeched and trashed around. Link opened his eyes and saw a thick silver blade sticking out of the monster's chest. Link's first thought was Damian's scythe, but no, the blade was too small to be the blade of the scythe and it didn't curve downwards as the blade of the scythe would. As the monster died, Link saw a figure phasing through the wall. "Damian can do that, but he would've killed that monster far more viciously, given his hate for undead. Gah! Too confusing, better keep things simple. Kill the monster, grab the treasure." Link said and opened the treasure chest that appeared. He found a strange looking lens. "Wonder what this is for…better ask Damian when I see him again." Link said and warped to the Temple of Time, pulled the Master Sword and returned to the future.

"Took your sweet little time, didn't ya?" Asked a voice behind him, making him jump so high he nearly hit the ceiling. "Phew. That one was high." Damian chuckled. "Did you get the lens?" He asked and Link nodded. "Good. Sorry I couldn't go with you, but I don't like the past well enough. Anyway, those lenses are special; they were designed by the Sheikah, based on the eyes of Demons, to see the truth. They see through illusion and deceit better than the eyes of even some Demons." Damian explained. "Anyway, we should head to Gerudo Valley. If I recall correctly one of the Temples is supposedly guarded by the Gerudo." Damian said and transported the two of them to the field. "We're going to have to ride. I can transport us, but where would the fun be in that?" Damian said and mounted the waiting Ktulu.

"Awww, man! I wanted to rest my ass. It hurts a lot when you ride from the ranch to Lake Hylia and then to Castle Town." Link whined. Damian looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Then why didn't you warp from the ranch to the lake, huh? That way you would've only ridden from the lake to the castle." Damian said and Link paled. "Don't worry, Link. I transported us very close to Gerudo Valley." Damian reassured his companion and rode ahead. After jumping the fallen bridge, Damian stopped. "I have to talk to this guy for a moment." Damian said and approached the carpenter boss. "Hey, you! Is this your saw?" Damian asked the old man, who just opened his mouth. "I guess from your expression that it is." Damian said.

"Where the hell did you get this, you stupid kid?! I gave this to my wife to give it to my worthless son!" The carpenter boss yelled. Damian glared at him.

"I got this from a walking corpse of a man. He told me that his mother had been brutally slaughtered by Wolfos. The guy then did the most stupid thing he could have done, other than insulting me, he entered the Lost Woods." Damian said and smirked smugly at the old guy's expression. "He must be a Stalfos by now. It is a fascinating process really. First the subject collapses, then the crows begin to eat the subject's flesh, after five minutes the subject is completely skinned, then another Stalfos arrives and rips the subject's eyes out, the subject is the stabbed through the heart by the other Stalfos and that seals its fate. Fascinating really. Oh! And did I mention that the subject remains alive and conscious during the _whole_ process?" Damian said, nearly laughing out loud at the carpenter boss' face. "Those that transform into Stalfos suffer greatly during the transformation. Isn't that a bitch?" Damian said. "We should go, Link. This guy has ruined my desire to remain here. The other Temple is supposed to be in Kakariko Village. Let's go there." Damian said and opened a portal in the ground. Link and Damian jumped into the portal and appeared in the entrance of the Village. They found it burning. Link saw Sheik standing near the Well and ran to "him".

"…Stand back." Sheik said and was thrown by an unseen force.

"What the-" Link said and drew his sword. He was hit, thrown and slammed around, until he lost consciousness. He awoke five minutes later and saw Sheik leaning over him.

"That was the Shadow monster that Impa sealed many years ago. It escaped the Bottom of the Well and fled to the Shadow Temple. I will teach you the song that will plunge you into the eternal darkness, the Nocturne of Shadow." Sheik said and taught Link my personal favorite song. Sheik stood and prepared to leave, when "he" felt a fast moving object collide with "him" and pin "him" to a wall.

"You bitch!" Damian snarled, his eyes blood red and his pupils reduced to mere slits. "Who the hell taught you that song?! That's an ancient sacred song of my family!" Damian said, still pinning Sheik to the wall.

"W-w-what are you t-t-talking about? That song was taught to me by Impa." Sheik said, trembling as much as "he" could, given the circumstances.

"So that's it, huh?! She stole the song from one of my bloodline?! Do you have any idea what that song means?! That's the song Darkness composed for Night! That song symbolizes the love of Darkness and Night, the parents of the original Death! Those who play that song together are bound to one another for all eternity, if they are of opposite genders!" Damian said and Sheik's eyes shrunk in terror. "That's right. You two are bound to one another. That is the real eternal darkness. The darkness and blindness of love, and the worst kind is when it's not even real love. You have sealed your fates, your souls have been entwined…yours and those of your descendants." Damian said, released Sheik and walked away. "I'll see you in the entrance of the Shadow Temple, Link." Damian said and vanished.

"T-t-that guy is scary." Sheik said, trembling and disappeared.

"Why does Sheik disappear all the time? And why does Damian call Sheik a bitch? Isn't Sheik a guy? I should probably stop thinking stupid things and warp to wherever the hell that song takes me." Link thought, played the Nocturne and warped.

* * *

Me: Next episode will be my favorite Temple, the "house of Hyrule's bloody history" The Shadow Temple!

Damian: Why did you make me freak out at Malon's trick? I can see through deception better than petty mortals.

Me: I had to add some awkwardness to the situation after last chapter's…event.

Damian: Oh! That! Hehehe…I'm truly grateful that you have given me such a loving and sexy lover.

Me: It's the least I could do; after all I made your childhood a living hell.

Damian: I'm still grateful. Read and review.


	13. Chapter 13

Me: Chapter 13! The COOLEST Temple in Ocarina of Time! The Shadow Temple!

Jack: Shit! Mike! Take cover! He is acting even weirder than usual!

Mike: Oh dear! To the bunker, I presume.

Jack: You can bet your brains on that!

Me: Hehehe. I'm going to enjoy writing this! Just so you know I might change the Temple a bit…Seeing as I have a little surprise prepared for Damian in here it won't be much of a stretch.

Damian: I know better than to ask…He is only my creator.

Me: Let us depart into the Shadows.

* * *

We join our heroes in front of the door into the Temple…

"HOW THE HELL DO WE OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR!" Link yelled. Damian shook his head and barely repressed the urge to hit him.

"Link…look around you. What do you see?" Damian asked him pointing to the torches that were arranged in a circular pattern.

"A whole lot o' torches." Link said, still glaring at the door.

"Good. That proves you're not blind, just stupid." Damian said and Link cast a glare in his direction. "These are _unlit _torches. What do you do with these? You light them of course…Now do it." Damian said giving Link a glare of his own.

"Ok, ok. I'll do it." Link said and lit the torches using Din's Fire. The door into the Temple opened. "How in your home's name did you know that would happen?!" Link asked.

"Elementary. I observed the unlit torches and that dais you are standing on bears the Fire mark, therefore it was easy to deduce that you had to light the torches in order to open the door." Damian said. Link looked incredulous and amazed at Damian's powers of observation. "Besides…this Temple is dedicated to my father and he brought me here once to train. I believe it was around the same time Impa came here to seal the shadow monster." Damian said and Link face planted.

"So…you have been here before?" Link asked, standing up. "What kind of place is it?"

"To put it simply, it's like the 7th circle of Hell. It changes constantly and is plagued with undead bastards. Fucking cockroaches, living in MY Temple." Damian began mumbling and Link was confused.

"Didn't you say that it was your _father's_ Temple?" Link asked. Damian sighed.

"It _was_ his Temple when he was alive. Since I killed him _I _am the new Darkness. It's my Temple now. This place is a bastion of Hell on Hyrule; there are places like this all over the cosmos. Places where Hell touches the living and corrupts the dead. In this place you may meet my other selves; my emotions will be unbalanced and may get out of control. If you see jet black or pure white…RUN! It won't be pretty." Damian said and stepped into the darkness, Link followed closely behind. Link used the Longshot to reach a ledge following the only path that ran through the hallway, he found a dead end. "Use the Lens of Truth." Damian said and Link obeyed. He saw that the painting that blocked the path was actually a fake wall. "Cool, isn't it?" Damian said and walked through another wall. After a few minutes of bumping into walls the reached a room that sent Link on a déjà vu trip. It was a room filled with hands reaching for the ceiling. "Did you really have to exhaust your magic?! You broke your fucking…" Damian stopped talking and sniffed around. "Do you smell rotting flesh here?" Damian asked and noticed the hands. He approached one of the hands and it tried to grab him. "You fucker! Show yourself!" Damian yelled. The DeadHands (at least I think that's what it's called…) emerged from the ground and approached Damian.

"Watch out! It will try to bite you!" Link yelled and unsheathed his sword.

Damian scoffed and Link noticed his eyes had turned bright yellow. "So…it is a DeadHands. I heard one was destroyed seven years ago. Good Riddance! They are highly annoying." Damian said and aimed a hand at the creature. "Disappear." Damian said and shot a black lightning bolt at the monster. The creature twitched violently and Link smelt burning flesh. Damian then approached the twitching creature and crushed its head with his foot. "…8th circle." Damian whispered and Link wondered what that meant.

"Heh! So the Half-Breed has come!" A voice called out from the darkness. "And he brought a snack! It's been many years since we've had any meat!" Two other voices called out and Link started shivering. He saw three monsters, bigger than Damian and Ganondorf, appear from the shadows. "Heh! The little zucchini is trembling! I don't like veggies, but I'm sure he has some meat on his bones!" The monsters said.

"You are either very young…" Damian started but was cut off by the monsters' laughter.

"Us?! Young?! Hahaha! We fought in the Great War; we saw the fall of the Old One!" The monsters laughed.

"Then you are really stupid. Do you really think that trash like _you_ can defeat _me_?! Don't make me laugh!" Damian sneered and the monsters stopped laughing and glared at Damian.

"How dare you, you filthy Half-Breed?! We are pureblooded Demons! We hail from the house of Baal himself!" The Demons snarled and Damian chuckled.

"Oh yes…Baal. He was the first one to die when he, Mephisto and Azmodal tried to kill me. Real tasty heart." Damian jeered and withdrew his scythe. "This won't even take a minute." Damian said and was about to rush them when one of the Demons fell with a thorn throat. Another one was pierced through the heart with a spear. The last one began to retreat but run into Damian's blade and fell in two pieces on the ground. "Is there a particular reason to hide?" Damian asked.

A voice chuckled, a feminine voice. Link saw a rather…well proportioned silhouette appear through the wall. "What's the matter, foul creature? You wish to fight again?" The figure asked. Damian was glaring at the figure.

"It would not be a fight, even if you had my scythe. You couldn't defeat me fifteen years ago and you can certainly not defeat me now, Angela." Damian said, still glaring at the now revealed woman.

"My, my. You remember my name! I'm honored." The woman (Angela) said sarcastically.

"Of course I do…Angie. You were the one that shattered my heart." Damian said, his eyes switching between red and dark blue.

"Please! You foul creatures only use your "hearts" to pump blood! You fiends have no feelings! No emotion other than hate and rage! You would have betrayed me if I had given you a chance! Only I didn't! You were the idiot, the one who dropped his guard!" Angela said, withdrawing her spear from the corpse of the Demon.

"So that is what I was to you?" Damian asked, his eyes the darkest shade of blue Link had ever seen. "An enemy? A monster? The same thing my "family" and everyone else thought of me? A freak of nature? A sin against life?" Damian asked, a thick mist flowing around him. "I thought I had finally found a friend. You were the first person I trusted...the first one I loved." At this point there was an actual pond around him. "Did I ever tell you, Angie? My eyes and my powers are affected by my emotions. And do you know what dark blue and water mean?"

"And I care because?!" She yelled.

"They mean sadness, sorrow and regret." Damian said. Angela's eyes widened as she remembered that day, fifteen years ago…

_Flashback. Angela's POV._

_The fiend's sword is shattered! I should end it now!_

_Damian…No! Don't call its name! It is a foul creature! If I destroy it and reclaim the scythe I will be able to destroy Hell once and for all! Father will be so proud!_

_Huh? It looks like Dam- the fiend wants to say something._

"_Why?" He asks. "Why are you doing this, Angie?"_

_I want to tell him, err, it. But I can't. He (I mean IT) would never understand._

_It is running. Good. If he abandons, then I won't have to kill him._

_Huh? Is he-NO! He is grabbing the Scythe!_

"_I didn't want it to come to this…" He (IT!) says as he (Damn it! IT!) swings the Scythe towards me._

_I-I-it hurts. He has defeated me. I'm sorry Father. _

_Huh? He's babbling something…and what is this? His eyes have turned into a beautiful deep blue and this __feels like rain. Is it raining?_

_Heh. He always said he loved the rain. Guess he will love it even more now…_

"_I forbid you to die. You shall live, as long as someone who cares about you lives. That is my first decree as the wielder of the Scythe!" He says, but it no longer matters. Not even Lord Eros himself could save me now. And I'm sure now…he is causing the rain._

_End of Flashback_

"S-s-so you were sad because of me?!" Angela asked. Damian nodded, still in the middle of his pond of sorrow.

"I told you then, didn't I? I am not a "pureblood" Demon. I am a Daemon, a link between the races. That's why I didn't destroy Heaven. I am neutral in the War." Damian said. "Besides…who did you think kept you alive? Eros? Ouranos? They don't care about you. Eros is the one who started the War and Ouranos created the Host. They just want to get rid of anyone that can oppose them." Damian said and Angela looked shocked.

"Are you serious?! We, the Angels, are taught that the Dark One and the Lord of Torture created Hell in order to destroy Heaven!" Angela yelled and Damian shook his head.

"That's not quite correct. They created Hell after Eros made the most disgusting thing ever done. He forced Darkness and Night to desire each other. At first it was just desire, but over time they came to care for each other. They unknowingly and unwillingly created the one of the greatest forces of creation. They created Love. Remember that song I played for you when you couldn't sleep?" Damian asked her and she nodded. "That's the Nocturne of Shadow. The symbol of their love. But their love was relatively short lived since they had the other great force of creation…Death. Night died giving birth and Darkness became mad with grief, he went to his younger brother and together they created a place whose sole purpose was the destruction of Eros. That much is true, but what they hide from you is the fact that they launched the first attack. Some of the Angels deserted the Host, feeling they were doing the wrong thing, and were called the Fallen, the greatest of them was actually the greatest Angel ever born, and his name was Lucifer. He became a High Lord of Hell and helped rule there while my father led the Army. And that is…enough history for today!" Damian said. Link was about to ask what he was talking about, but felt a warm presence that clashed horribly with the Temple.

"Who's there?!" Link asked drawing his sword and looking around. He saw a light descending and reforming. When he could open his eyes again, he saw a blond man (or woman? Hard to say when it has long hair and appears to wear a dress…) with white wings pointing a sword at Angela.

"Angela Chinoike. You have been found guilty of High Treason against the Angelic Host. Therefore, the Lord Eros and High King Ouranos have ordered to execute you!" The thing yelled in a really high pitched voice and ran at Angela, only to find a blade at its throat.

"Those bastards can't decide who lives and dies…but I can!" Damian said and chopped the Angel's head of. "I see I am not the only one whose father tried to kill him. And Chinoike? That has to be the worst title I have ever heard of!" Damian said chuckling, Angela glared at him.

"Well excuuuse me, mister Shinotsuki! Not all of us can get such a cool name." Angela said sarcastically. Damian stopped chuckling and approached her. "W-w-what?!" She asked a little unnerved at his proximity.

"Heh." Damian chuckled a little and hugged her. "Good to see you again, Angie." Now Link, Navi and Angela had simultaneous heart attacks. "What? Can't hug a childhood friend?" Damian asked and they all noticed his eyes were a really light shade of blue.

"Y-y-you s-still think of m-me as a friend?" She asked, barely holding her tears in. Damian nodded happily and that was enough to send her bawling. "I'm sorry! I regretted that act every moment! You looked so innocent and hurt that it pained me to break your heart again!" She said, crying her eyes out. Damian gently wiped her tears off.

"Don't worry. I suck at holding a real grudge for long." He said and smiled at her. "We should go, Link. You still have to awaken the Sage here." He said and walked to the door.

"Wait! C-can I go with you?" Angela asked, looking at the floor. Damian stopped and looked at Link.

"What do you say, Link? Should we allow the one who saved you in the Well seven years ago to go with us?" Damian asked and Link nodded.

"Sure! Welcome aboard, Angela!" Link said with a smile. Angela smiled and left with them.

* * *

Me: Damn! Too much blah-blah-blah and not enough blood!

Damian: Yay! Angie is back and is my friend again!

Me: Damn it! You still have not returned to normal! Fuck! Read and Review!


	14. Chapter 14

Me: Damn it! I am ashamed of myself! Last chapter sucked!

Jack: No, ya think!

Me: Quiet! You assholes allowed my muses to escape! I will write a better chapter! The Shadow Temple DESERVES it!

Damian: Then let us return to the good things in life…senseless violence and sadistic fun!

Me: Yes! Of course! How could I've been so blind?! Those are the kind of things people like!

Damian: Yes, my Master. He only owns me and Angela.

Me: Sadism and violence! Oh and I forgot to give a brief description of Angela. She is about Zelda's height, rather well endowed, blonde waist length hair and blue eyes.

* * *

Last time the Angelic warrior, Angela joined our heroes and Link found the Hover Boots. Let's see their progress in the Temple…

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?!" Link yelled at the top of his lungs, Angela seemed to be just as exasperated as Link and Damian shook his head and sighed.

"Sometimes I wonder how the two of you are still alive…" Damian sighed, shrugging off the daggers his companions were glaring at him. "Let me tell you what you have to do. You. Have. To. Read. Ok? There was a fucking sign with the instructions back there." He said, pointing over his shoulder. "Translated to Idiot it says…Spin the bird till it points to the REAL skull to open the gate. So…GET TO IT!" He yelled, the other two yelped and rotated the bird many times over. "You stupid jackass and you dumb blonde! (Those are exchangeable since they are both blonde) If you don't get it right the floor will-" He was cut short by the sound of plaques sliding and moving. "Well, crap." He said and the floor gave way to a trapdoor. The two blondes fell and started to scream like little girls. Damian jumped after them and grabbed Link with his right hand and Angela with his left one. He threw them up onto the ground and continued to fall. "Keep going! I'll see you guys later!" Damian yelled and fell into the darkness.

"Fuck! How are we supposed to complete this place if the only one who knows this place is not with us?!" Link asked. Angela shook her head.

"He said there are signs with instructions. Maybe we should use them." She said and walked to the sign. "'To open the gate, point the beak at the skull of truth. If you fail you will fall into darkness.' That's what this says." She said and thought about the possible meaning.

"Wait. Skull of TRUTH? Damian is right; I can be such an idiot." Link said, shaking his head. Angela's face showed a deep puzzlement. "It's easy. I have to use the Lens of Truth to see which skull is real." He said and did it. "There! That's the only real skull!" He said pointing to one of the skulls. They rotated the bird and a gate opened. "Let's see…'Only he with sacred feet shall cross the valley of the dead' What the hell does that mean?" Link asked and Angela thought about it.

"Maybe you have to use those boots you found in the room we met?" She suggested and Link decided to try. He crossed and turned to ask how she was going to cross when he saw her unfurl her wings and fly across.

"You have wings too?!" Link asked. Angela looked at him as if he was an idiot, which he is.

"I _am _an Angel. I'm supposed to have wings." She said. Link muttered something about unfairness and how everyone had wings but him.

"Wait a minute! Why didn't you use your wings when we were falling?" He asked.

"I, uh, I didn't think about it. I was frightened." She admitted while they advanced. Link thought this was his chance to learn more about Damian's past.

"So, you've know Damian for a long time?" He asked.

"Huh? Well…no. I met Dan when we were both four years old. We traveled together for about a month and then we fought over the Scythe…obviously Dan won." She said and Link stopped for a moment.

"Who the hell is Dan?!" He asked and Angela shook her head.

"DAmiaN. He told me his mother and his siblings called him Dan." She said and regretted she brought that to conversation.

"Wait! Damian has brothers and sisters?!" Link asked surprised.

"No. They are his siblings by shared father. The only one Dan has acknowledged as his brother is the original Angel of Death. The others are nothing more than obstacles to him. They hate him and he hates them back. Thanatos was the only one who didn't treat him as a weakling. And that is all I will say about it! If he wishes to tell you more he will." She said and Link sparked a suspicion.

"How was Damian as a kid?" He asked and saw Angela's eyes sparkle with something akin to happiness.

"Dan was so adorable! He was kind and innocent! He also was an excellent cook, musician and artist! And so good looking to boot!" She said, lost in her own memories. She was brought out of her reverie by Link's laughter. "What are you laughing at?!" She asked.

"Hahahahaha! You love him, don't you?" He asked snickering. Angela blushed redder than Damian's right eye. "Don't answer, your face says enough. I'm sorry to inform you that he has a lover." He said and expected to see her face fall; he was surprised to see her smile.

"That's ok. Didn't he tell you? You see, Demons say they take many "lovers", but they actually take whores. They fuck and fuck and fuck some more until the whore gives birth to a child. Dan has a different condition. He told me that, since he was part Angel, he will find many true lovers. Some may say he only wants to fuck, but he will love them all equally and would gladly give his life, his title and his powers to save anyone of them. So I'm not mad or sad. He told me he loved me and that means he will always do so. He still loves me and he loves that girl you say as well." She explained and Link made a mental note to ask Damian how many "lovers" he has and to call him a polygamist later. They kept advancing and reading all the signs they found to know what to do. They advanced and heard a rumbling coming from the room right next to them.

"What the fuck?" Link asked and placed his ear on the wall. The wall exploded outwards and Link saw two figures fighting in the air. One was dressed in a familiar black cloak, but the other wore a blood red cape and had blood red hair. The figures landed and glared at each other. "Hey, Angela. Who's the guy with the red cape?" He asked and Angela looked at him with a look filled with fear.

"That's Samael. Second Overlord of the Eight Circle of Hell. It's one of Dan's siblings." She said and Link looked at the Demon closer. He saw a resemblance between Damian and that Demon. Samael was the first one to move.

"What is it, Dan? Are you mad that I modified _my _father's Temple?" Samael smirked. Damian glared at him for a moment, but responded with a smirk of his own.

"I am. But at least I am not "Daddy's Little Boy". I never expected to find you looking at Father's pictures, Sam." Damian said, still smirking.

"So? At least I was a wanted child! You are just an accident! You are the biggest mistake Father made; besides falling in "love" with that bitch you call a mother!" Samael said and noticed Link and Angela for the first time. "What?! You finally got yourself a whore?! Lord Lucifer be praised! The youngest bastard of the family finally got himself a whore!" He said while laughing maniacally. Damian's eyes turned blood red and black flames engulfed his arms.

"Don't you dare call Angie a whore!!!" He roared before charging forward and ripping of Samael's arms and legs. He stood over Samael's prone body and smirked. "Not so great now, are you Sam? Let me tell you something…Father loved even _me _over you. He never compared me negatively with you. I once asked him about it and he told me you were the only one who betrayed him and left to serve the Lord of Traitors. He stopped caring for you when you did that! Take that knowledge and fall into eternal Oblivion." Damian said and opened a portal beneath Samael's body. "Oh and give my regards to your brothers." He said and joined Link and Angela. "What are still doing here? I told you to go-." He said but was interrupted with a fierce kiss from Angela. When she broke the kiss Damian blushed, turned and began to walk away. "Thank you for that, Angie. But we have to move on." He said. The blondes followed the raven head through the Temple. Damian explained every room and disabled every trap. Finally they arrived at the boss chamber. "This used to be the Great Hall of Darkness. Father's throne used to be there. That bastard Samael! He disfigured this place! This used to be a beautiful place. The shadows of ancient Demons were extremely polite and respectful. I'm gonna rip that bastard Bongo-Bongo to shreds!" He said and jumped into the hole on the ground. Link and Angela looked at each other and jumped after him. Link noticed they were standing on a giant drum. Suddenly two giant hands started to play the drum and Link found himself bouncing every time it happened. He looked around and saw that Angela was bouncing too, but Damian didn't move. "You have some nerve Bongo-Bongo. To choose the Hall of Darkness as your lair. I would say you had some big balls, but you're a eunuch." He said, glaring at the darkness. Suddenly Damian shot forward and launched a punch into thin air. There was a horrible screech of pain and a monster appeared, bleeding from its only eye. Damian, still with his hand inside the thing's eye, started to concentrate a huge amount of energy. "Shatter to nothingness! Shadow Blast!" He yelled and the monster exploded into a million pieces. Damian stood there looking at his hand. "I will meet you in Gerudo Valley. I have something to do. And blondes? Don't do anything stupid I wouldn't do." He said and began to melt into the shadows. "Even if it is easier than breathing for you." He chuckled and disappeared.

"Is he always like this?" Angela asked Link.

"No. Today he was pretty calm." Link said and stepped into the blue light.

* * *

Me: Damn it! That still didn't come out as I wanted. Oh well. We have a new addition to the A/N cast! Please welcome…Angela!

Angela: Thank you, Master.

Damian: Angie?! Since when do you call him Master?!

Angela: Since he made me do it six seconds ago. Besides he is my Master.

Damian: Ok.

Me: Hehehe. Oh yeah! Sorry about the delay, I had an anatomy test and I had to study for it.

Angela: Please leave your reviews.


	15. Chapter 15

Me: Chapter fifteen!

Jack: Hey! Why the hell are you so happy?!

Me: Because I can and I want! Anyway, I hate to announce that this will, probably, be a filler.

Mike: Oh dear.

Damian: So…what will this filler be about?

Me: You will probably engage in private activities with Angela.

Damian: WHAT?!

Angela: YAY!-_**notices everyone looking strangely at her**_-I mean…What?

Damian: And you're supposed to be the Angel.

Me: That's right. So say the goddamn disclaimer!

Jack & Mike: He doesn't own Zelda.

Me: Begin!

* * *

We join the blondes in the Chamber of Sages.

"Please! Don't hit me with the Medallion!" Link was on his knees begging at Impa.

"I wasn't going to hit you…" She said with a huge sweat drop on her head. "Now receive the Shadow Medallion!" She says and raises her hands. Link looks around and misses the Medallion headed straight for his head.

"Damn it!" He screams.

"Keep it down, ya idiot!" Damian yelled at him. "That Sheikah bitch transported you all the way to Gerudo Valley. Let's go. And do try to keep a low profile. These Gerudo bitches don't really like men." He said and advanced to the Fortress. Five minutes later…

"AH!" Link screamed as he was thrown into a holding cell.

"And stay there you stupid kid!" The guard yelled. Another scream was heard as Angela was thrown in the same cell.

"Fucking bitches." Angela murmured. "So, what now?" She asked Link.

"Well, the brains of our operation is not with us, we are trapped in this hellhole and the guard is pretty tight. I suggest we escape through that conveniently placed window using the Longshot those guards forgot to take. Then we knock them out using arrows that curiously won't kill them and we look for Damian while freeing the captives so that they will repay the favor by repairing the bridge. (Am I the only one who thinks those Gerudo are really crappy guards/jail keepers?) Once we find Damian we will ask him what to do next." Link said. Angela looked at him, surprised by the sheer genius of that plan.

"Ok…Let's go." She said and followed Link out. Several minutes, twelve guards knocked out and three carpenters freed later, they arrived at a room filled with torture devices. "See! I told you that this was not the kitchen! We should've taken the door to the right!" She yelled at Link. Link smile sheepishly. "I wonder what they're doing to Dan…Maybe they want to rape him! Yes that must be it! They want to use him to father their children and create an army of Half-Daemon Half-Gerudo soldiers!" She started to panic. Link was about to ask her how could the Gerudo know Damian was a Daemon when he heard footsteps. He quickly grabbed Angela's hand and used the Longshot to climb on a ledge. He did a quick scan of the room and saw something that he couldn't believe. There was Damian, his arms chained over his head, his legs chained together and his cloak and the chest piece of his armor were missing. "Oh. Look at those abs and those pecs!" Angela said drooling. This seriously freaked Link out.

"Shhhh! They'll hear you." He whispered and Angela stopped. They watched as two Gerudos approached Damian.

"So…You ready to cooperate?" One of them asked Damian. Damian's reply was short…a quick spit on the face.

"Don't think that mask will help you. When the time comes I'll make you wish you were dead…then I'll grant your wish." He said glaring at her. The other one trembled at the glare and Damian looked at her. "You!" He yelled, making the trembling one jump up in fear. Damian's expression considerably softened. "You won't suffer. I personally guarantee that your death will be painless. Just leave this room…NOW!" He said and the guard was only to happy to comply. "Heh. So much for the mighty Gerudo." He smirked. The remaining guard hit Damian with the shaft of her spear.

"Quiet! I don't know nor care why the Great Ganondorf wants you alive but mark my words…the King of Darkness always gets what he wants. I wonder if we should send that little whore that was with you? Maybe the King can find some use for her..." She said. Damian's glare suddenly intensified.

"What did you call Bitch-dorf?! King of Darkness?! And I won't allow you to talk about Angie like that!!!" He yelled and started to pull at the chains. The guard laughed at his actions.

"You stupid kid! Those chains were made by Mistress Twinroba herself! There is no way you can-" She was cut short by the sound of metal breaking. "What the-?!" Was all she could utter before Damian's gauntlet collided with her stomach.

"I told you that I would make you suffer and that is exactly what I'll do." He said and proceeded to torture her in ways only a madman (Here!) could've thought of. To put it simply he opened her stomach, removed most of her intestines and her womb, shoved the womb into her mouth and hung her with her own intestines. He then grabbed a whip and whipped every inch of her, when he grew tired of the whip he tore the chains off the wall and hit her with them. Then he rammed her spear, butt first, into her rectum until it erupted from her chest. Lastly he unfurled his wings and flew up to watch as life left her eyes. "Sometimes I even scare myself, you know? Link, Angie." He said. The aforementioned blondes left their hiding place. Link was seriously freaked but Angela ran straight at Damian and kiss-tackled him. Five minutes later Link started to wonder if they even needed to breathe.

"Um, guys? We are still in the Fortress. We should get out of here." Link said and was ignored. "Damn it! We need to get out of here! That fucking corpse is starting to stink!" Link yelled and his companions finally broke their kiss. "Good. Now, Damian, what do we do?" He asked and Damian looked at himself.

"First I need to find my clothes. Then we can discus what to do." He said and looked around. Five minutes later they found Damian's cloak and chest piece inside the barracks. "What the hell did they want to do with these?" Damian asked himself. A few minutes, several knocked out guards and two close calls later, they found the fourth carpenter. Damian stopped and raised his hand; the guard that had just jumped in from the ceiling fell right into Damian's vice grip. "Give me the key or you will know the meaning of true suffering." Damian said with a low voice that scared the guard shitless. She nodded and gave the key to Damian. He released her and opened the door. After the carpenter hauled ass out of there a Gerudo appeared in front of them.

"I thought all men besides the Great Ganondorf were useless. You must want to join us. I like you; I'll allow you to join." She said and threw a paper at them. "That is a proof of membership. You are now allowed to enter our training facilities and the Gerudo Desert. There our leader, the Exalted Nabooroo, has taken residence in the Spirit Temple." She said and disappeared.

"Well I'll be damned! This worked just perfectly! They already trust us enough to allow us to walk freely here. Yahoo!" Angela cheered and Damian looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Technically you are damned. You've been exiled, remember? And she never said anything about trust. They merely know that they can't stop us, so instead of trying and failing they save face by saying that we are members. But you are right, this works just fine. I was thinking of killing everyone that wouldn't flee and advance at our leisure, but this is easier." Damian said as he walked to the gate leading into the desert. The guard noticed them and opened the gate. They walked through the desert for about three hours before Link fell to the ground panting.

"Damn this! This is just too damn hard! Let's stop here and rest!" He said and Angela nodded her consent. Damian sighed and looked ahead.

"Fine. But we leave at first light." He said and started a fire with some wood he pulled out of nowhere. They sat around the bonfire in silence until Link's stomach growled. Angela laughed at him but her stomach echoed his. Damian rolled his eyes and began rummaging through his cloak.

"Damn I'm hungry. Damian, do you have any food in that cloak of yours? I drank the last of the milk I had a while ago." Link asked.

"You are very lucky I'm here. If you were alone I have no doubt I would've met you under different circumstances." Damian said as he pulled three pieces of salted meat out of his cloak. He handed one to Link and one to Angela. "It isn't much but it's better than nothing. I'm afraid I didn't bring any water, but I think there's a spring somewhere near the Temple. You're going to have to hold on until then." He said and began munching on his piece of food. (I replayed the phrase "_piece of meat_" in my mind but I thought that it would sound wrong in so many different ways…) Half an hour later Link yawned, Damian saw that Angela was dozing off as well and volunteered to stand watch. Link and Angela nodded and laid down to sleep. Link awoke a few hours later and saw that Damian was looking at the stars.

"He always did that when we were traveling together. I've never seen him sleep." Angela,who had woken up as well, said. "At first I thought that he was looking for a way to kill me, but after the first week or so I realized he did it to allow me to sleep. I've never felt safer that when he was around." She said and turned to continue sleeping; Link followed her example and fell asleep again. Damian, who had been hearing everything, shifted a little to look at her.

"She really felt that way, huh? That's good. I couldn't stand the idea of some of the Demons roaming around there to lay their claws on her. She was really pretty back then, but now she is beautiful. I really missed her and now I miss Malon as well. I guess that is what has happened lately. Thank you for listening to me…Auntie." He said to the night and continued to keep watch. As he had said, Damian woke them up at first light. "Get up, you lazy blondes! Sunrise was two minutes ago. We need to get to the Temple before noon. Otherwise you will probably die of dehydration." He said. They obeyed and started to walk. A couple of hours later they arrived at the Desert Colossus. "There it is! The Spirit Temple! The spring should be right around there." He said pointing in a direction. Link was about to bolt towards the spring when he felt Damian's hand on his shoulder. "There's a GF fountain over there. You should go to her, and then it will be your turn at the spring." Damian said and left. Link grudgingly did as he was told. Five minutes later he emerged from the fountain with Nayru's Love in his pocket. He walked towards the spring and stopped when he saw something that would haunt him forever. There, right next to the spring, laid two entwined bodies. The one on top had long blonde hair and the one on the bottom had black hair. They were moaning and grunting. Link was about to throw up so he decided to wait as far away as possible from them. He walked into the Temple and saw that he could not advance further than the first room. He exited the Temple and found Sheik, who taught him the Requiem of Spirit and told him to return as a kid before vanishing. Link walked towards the spring, praying to the goddesses that they would be dressed, and when he arrived he found his prayers had been answered. "Ah, there you are. I started to wonder if you had gone to relieve yourself of some UST." Damian said smirking. Link blushed a bit and told them to leave so he could bathe. "Sure." Damian said and walked away with Angela.

"Damn pervert." Link mumbled as he undressed to bathe.

* * *

Me: Well…it was not as bad as I feared.

Damian: No. Not at all. I had no idea Angie was such a demon in the sack.

Angela: That was my first time! Did I disappoint you?

Damian: Nope. That was great.

Me: Let's cut this out before they start screwing in my office. Read and Review and sorry about the delay. School's been getting harder.


	16. Chapter 16

Me: Chapter Sixteen!

Jack: Good, deranged psychopath in the building!

Me: Thank you.

Mike: Where is Damian?

Me: He is getting ready to rumble. The next Temple is the last one, but that won't be the end of the madness! I am planning to introduce Angela and Malon!

Jack: WHAT?! They will try to castrate him for cheating on them!

Me: No they won't. Say the fucking disclaimer and let's get this started.

Jack & Mike: He doesn't own.

Me: Bwahahahaha.

* * *

We join our heroes outside the Spirit Temple. Last time, Link undressed to bathe in the spring near the Temple. Let's see what has happened…

"Damn it, you bastard! Give me my clothes back!" Link yelled at a crow that had stolen his clothes in one swoop. The crow simply kept flying. "Damn it! Where the hell is my bow?! I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch!" Link yelled looking around frantically. Damian shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"You really are an idiot. Your bow was in the tunic." He said and chuckled at Link's expression. "Don't worry. I'll kill the little bastard." Damian said, before raising his hand and shooting a small fireball at the nearly out of sight crow. Link's clothes fell to the ground. "Now, do a favor to the world and get dressed." Damian said. Link nodded and ran to get his clothes, nearly running into Angela. "Hey! Stay away from Angie!" Damian yelled at him. Link made a yelping sound and ran as fast as he could to get dressed. A couple of minutes later, Link told Damian that he could not advance farther than the first room in the Temple. "That does present a problem…I am pretty sure that I could, but this is your quest. I can only help you so far." Damian said and thought for a moment. "Did you happen to see any holes big enough for you to enter as a kid?" Damian asked and Link nodded. "Then that's your answer! You have to return to your original timeline and come here! I'm sure that that bitch Sheik taught you the Requiem of Spirit." He said. "I'm sorry but you are going to have to do this alone. I don't want to create a paradox by existing as two different people in the same timeline." Damian said and Link's jaw fell to the ground.

"What?! I'm going to have to go through this place by myself?!" Link asked. Damian sighed and nodded. "Damn!"

"I know. Don't worry; you are strong enough to face any threats that appear inside the Temple. I've been inside before, it's a piece of cake compared to my Temple." Damian said and Link shuddered at the memory of that haunted place. "Hey! Were you just thinking that my Temple is haunted?!" Damian asked. Link gave out a yelp and frantically shook his head. "Good. Then fuck off! Go to your timeline and come back here to look around. I'm pretty sure there is a treasure here that will make you a little stronger. If I remember correctly it's a pair of gauntlets." Damian said. Link nodded and warped to the Temple of Time. One time trip and a warping song later, Link arrived at the Desert Colossus. He entered the Temple and saw a Gerudo looking through a small hole Link noticed in the future (Rather confusing that. He saw the hole in his first visit in the future. Weird.). He approached and the Gerudo turned.

"Who are you?" He asked her. She seemed to measure him and smiled.

"I'm Nabooroo. Leader of the Gerudo Thieves. I'm looking for the Silver Gauntlets in order to defeat Ganondorf." She said and Link's eyes widened in surprise.

"I thought the Gerudo served Ganondorf!" He exclaimed. Nabooroo laughed at that.

"Some of us do. But others hate what he does, he even kills innocent people! That's why I want to stop him. But I can't fit through this hole!" She said and looked at Link. "Would you do me a favor and go get the gauntlets for me?" She asked with a puppy dog eye expression. "In exchange, I'll defeat Ganondorf." She said and Link, being unable to resist the puppy eye expression, nodded. "Good! Then off you go!" She said and shoved Link into the hole.

"_I'm glad Damian didn't see that or I would never hear the end of how I was inserted like an enema."_ He thought. Half an hour later, Link was starting to get really annoyed. _"How the hell does Damian keep his cool, well most of it anyway, inside these annoying Temples?! Is this why he constantly kills monsters in brutal and inhuman ways?! I should probably stop thinking stupid stuff and concentrate in the Temple. Yes I should do that." _He thought. He reached a room that had a lot of pillars and what seemed to be an empty armor sitting on a throne. He walked around the throne and saw that the gate was locked. "DAMN IT! THAT'S IT! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS FUCKING PLACE!" He yelled and kicked the armor. The armor started moving and hefted a huge axe. "Fuck. Just my luck." He murmured before the armor gave a battle cry and started to swing its axe. Link screamed like a little girl and barely evaded the blow (Even though it is probably one of the slowest enemies of the whole game.). Fifteen minutes of axe swinging and evading later, Link was starting to get tired, he barely scratched the creature with his sword and that last blow had actually hurt him. He needed a plan and fast. _"Let's see…Deku Nuts? No. Slingshot? Nah. Magic Beans? What the fuck?! Come on, come on, think! Aha! I'll go around and roll over, then I'll jump onto its back and when it tries to kill me I'll jump off and it will cleave itself with its axe! It's brilliant!" _Link thought, but he was so concentrated on his plan he had not seen the creature approaching him until it was too late. "Shit." He murmured as he saw the axe coming down.

"It is not his time, yet." A voice said and the monster was cleaved in two. Link looked around and saw a silhouette in the shadows. "It was not your time yet. You will not die here. It's not written for you to die yet." The man said before stepping into the light. Link gasped as he looked at the man. This man was very similar to Damian in both appearance and presence. "I believe you were looking for the gauntlets that are in the next room. You should go now. I'm sure your friends are waiting for you." The man said and started to vanish. "And tell Dan his big brother said hi." He said and vanished completely.

"So he was another one of Damian's brothers. That explains why he looked like him. He is right though, I should get out of here." Link said to himself and exited. He got the gauntlets, saw the Owl (and received the final boring speech of the Owl) and saw Nabooroo being trapped by a pair of witches. "Just another day in my life." He said to himself and warped to the Temple of Time. When he returned to the Desert Colossus, he saw Damian sitting on the steps of the Temple with a book on his hand and a piece of coal in his other hand. "What are you doing?" Link asked. Damian looked up from the book and sighed.

"I was drawing." He answered. Link looked around and noticed Angela was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Angela?" He asked.

"She was feeling sweaty and dirty so she said she was going to take a bath. She should be in the spring." Damian answered and closed his book. "Anyway, did you find the gauntlets?" He asked and Link nodded. "Good. This place can be a pain in the ass. At least you have as much strength as Angie now." Damian said and Link's jaw fell to the ground.

"What?! She's as strong as me with these gauntlets on?!" He asked. Damian chuckled a little and nodded. "Damn! Now I feel like a weakling." He said, feeling miserable.

"You are not weak. You are merely human. The beings that made you made you weaker than them in order to control you. Don't worry; you are stronger than many other humans." Damian said giving small sympathetic pats on Link's back.

"Thanks. Oh that's right! I met a man in the Temple that told me to give you a message. He told me to tell you that "big brother says hi"." Link said. Damian looked shocked for a moment.

"Was it a man my height, with black hair and giving pretty much the same presence I do?" Damian asked and Link nodded. "So, brother is here. I never thought that I would see him here." He said to himself and began to walk to the spring. "Angie! Get dressed! We enter the Temple now!" He said. Link heard a shriek and many curses. Twenty seconds later, Damian walked back with a shred cloak and wet hair. "A word to the wise…never walk in on a woman bathing. It's bad for your health." Damian said. Link was a bit confused.

"But I thought you guys had already…you know…screwed." Link asked and Damian looked at him blushing.

"Well…yeah…But that doesn't mean that I can walk in on her bath uninvited. That is not correct, she has to invite me." He explained. Link saw a very angry looking Angela walking towards them.

"Pervert." She said to Damian and walked into the Temple. Damian sighed and shook his head.

"Sometimes I wonder if love is a blessing or a curse." Damian murmured and walked into the Temple as well. Link followed him. Inside, Link saw that the Armos Knights were already destroyed.

"Damian, did you destroy them?" Link asked and Damian shook his head.

"No. Angie did. She was probably working some of her anger off." He said and looked around. He saw the big silver-ish block and got an exasperated look in his eyes. "THAT is what was blocking your way?!" He asked Link. Link nodded. "For the love of-That is nothing! That's just a pebble!" He exclaimed and walked to the block. He tapped the block with his left pinky finger and the block turned to dust. Link could only stare in horror at that. "If you are done gaping like the asshole you are, I suggest we move on." Damian said and left. Link approached Angela.

"Is it just me or is Damian getting more prone to sudden outbursts of violence?" He asked her.

"It isn't just you. I feel that he keeps going more and more into the darkness." She answered. Link shuddered at the thought of an evil Damian, one that was merely dark is more than enough. They advanced through the Temple and nothing remarkable happened until they reached a room that sent Link in a trip to the past, a room filled with pillars and a throne. Damian approached the throne.

"Get up, ya lazy bastard! I'm itching to rip you to shreds." Damian taunted and the monster rose. "Good. I want to kill an Iron Knuckle myself. Link! Angela!" The blondes gave a little jump. "I don't want you to interfere. Just keep on going. The door is open." He said and turned to look at them, they noticed his eyes were different, they had a hint of encroaching black in them. They nodded and left. They found the Mirror Shield in a chest in the next room (If you can call that a room.) and sat at the edge of the chasm to allow Damian some time to unwind.

"Do you think we've given enough time for Dan to unwind?" Angela asked five minutes later.

"Let's give him another minute or so. If he was done already he would've come here and made a snide comment about how I'm trying to steal you or something like that." Link said and Angela nodded. "So, tell me Angela. Why did you save me in the Bottom of the Well?"

"Because I felt that you were an ally of Light. If I had known that you were Dan's friend I might not have saved you." She answered. They chatted for a minute or so more and then they decided to return and see what was taking Damian so long. They regretted that decision. Inside the room they saw Damian systematically dismembering the Iron Knuckle. The creature was nothing more than a mass of metal, its arms, legs, even fingers were thrown everywhere.

"Hehehe. Come now, don't tell me you've died yet. You have? What a shame, I was just starting to have fun. Oh well, what is there to do?" Damian said to what was left of the Iron Knuckle. He smirked and pointed his hand at the creature's head. "You won't get away that easily." Damian murmured and shot an energy beam point-blank at the creature. The creature's head evaporated in a shower of blood and chunks of a fleshy substance. "Hehehe. I needed that. Blondes! Let's go! Shadow has opened the doors to the boss' chamber." He said and melted into the shadows.

"That was brutal. I mean, he always has been a bit over the edge, but he dropped the argument when the enemy was dead. I had never seen him mutilate a corpse." Link said. The blondes walked around and saw that many walls were destroyed and others had deep claw-like markings. They followed the destruction and saw that the face of the statue they had seen before had been destroyed. After many curses they reached the platform that was suspended before the statue and entered the gate. They found Damian standing over the prone body of Nabooroo. Then the witches that Link had seen in the past appeared and disintegrated Nabooroo. Damian's eyes turned a shade of black Link had never seen.

"You bitches! You dare mock the gift Chaos gave to all creatures?! I will never forgive you!" Damian yelled and his wings erupted from his back. "Koume and Kotake. By the authority vested in me as High Lord of Hell and as the Angel of Death, I hereby pronounce you guilty of mocking free will and life. The punishment for that are death and an eternity of suffering. You are also found guilty of trying to imprison the Angel of Death and interfering with your goddesses' plans. You are sentenced to die and spend the rest of existence in a place of eternal torture." He said and materialized a sword that appeared to be made of pure darkness. "Behold! The sword of nothingness, Oblivion!" He yelled and rushed at them. They fell in pieces in a matter of seconds. "Not enough…not enough blood!" Damian yelled and started to wreck the Temple. Link and Angela watched horrified as Damian flew from one place to another destroying everything in sight.

"Damn it." Said a voice behind them. Link turned and saw the man he had seen in the past. "I knew something like this would happen. I told him that he needed to control his anger." He said, not taking his eyes away from Damian. Link turned and saw Angela bowing.

"Huh? Angela, why are you bowing?" Link asked. Angela looked at him as if he was an idiot.

"Are you stupid? That is Thanatos himself! That's the only one who could hope to match Dan's powers." She said. Thanatos looked at them for the first time.

"You're that kid I met here seven years ago. Heh, I knew I would meet you here again. And you are the last daughter of Ouranos. Dan sure keeps strange company." He chuckled a bit. Then he looked at Damian again. "You two should get out of here. Dan is not here."

"What are you talking about?! Damian is right there!" Link said pointing at Damian. Thanatos shook his head.

"His body is here, but that isn't Dan. That's the part of him he has kept locked ever since he killed Father. That's Bloodlust." Thanatos said. "I'm afraid that Dan has to be either crippled or destroyed here."

"What?! Why?!" Angela asked.

"There are only three ways to stop Dan in this state. One is to kill him or cripple him. The second is for him to sate his bloodlust by killing a lot of people and the last one is to enter his mind and defeat his emotions in order to release him." Thanatos answered.

"Then we will do the third one. Can you introduce us into his mind?" Link asked. Thanatos nodded. "Then do it. You'll have to stay here and make sure that he doesn't leave the Temple." Link said and once again Thanatos nodded.

"Very well. Be careful and don't mess around with his memories. That would probably scar you for life." He said and started to concentrate energy. After a short incantation he shot the energy at the blondes and they were consumed by light.

* * *

Me: That's the sixteenth chapter. The next one will take place inside Damian's mind so get ready for some wild insanity. Read and Review. 


	17. Chapter 17

Me: Chapter 17! And the first one of the "inside" arc!

Jack: "Inside"?! You suck at names.

Me: Shut up! The following chapters will take place inside Damian's mind. I am unsure as to how many there will be, but I expect at least three.

Mike: Why?

Me: Because they have to defeat the Ten Elements Damian controls and I as sure as hell won't cut it short! This is the perfect opportunity to unleash most of my madness, seeing as I can twist Damian's mind as much as I want!

Jack: If I could, I would feel sorry for the little psycho…

Me: Say the disclaimer and allow madness to be released!

Jack & Mike: He doesn't own LoZ.

Me: Bwahahahaha!!!

* * *

Last time, Damian entered a bloodlust rampage and the blondes were sent into his mind by Thanatos. Let's see their first impression of Damian's mind…

"Sweet goddesses! This is Damian's mind?!" Link asked. Angela was as shocked as him. Damian's mind was like a huge castle with ten towers on the outer wall and a central, higher, tower. The towers were different from each other. The towers were evenly spaced from the ones to the sides and arranged in what appeared to be a circle. "We should enter. Staying here will not be particularly useful." Link said and approached the main gate. Over the main gate he saw an inscription that read: "Abandon hope all ye who enter, for you will stand before the Ten and be judged by them." Link wondered what that meant, but shrugged it off and opened the gate. Inside they found a courtyard with lines drawn in the ground. "Wonder what those lines mean." Link asked and Angela shrugged her shoulders as if saying "I don't know."

"They are Chaos' Decagram!" Exclaimed a small voice behind them. The blondes turned and saw a small boy with a gray cloak. Link was about to ask how he knew that when Angela squealed with delight and rushed to hug the boy. "Hey! Leave me alone! You are embarrassing me!" The boy struggled in Angela's grasp.

"Excuse me but, who are you?" Link asked the boy. The boy turned to look at him and Link saw the boy's eyes…they were Damian's eyes.

"I'm Danny." The boy (Danny) answered before turning to glare at Angela. "And you better release me, before I get mad." He said with enough killing intent to frighten Angela. She released him and he turned to look at Link again. "I'm, what you may call, Damian's inner child." He said. Link thought for a moment until the proverbial light bulb appeared over his head.

"Say, Danny. Do you think you could help us release Damian from his Bloodlust?" Link asked. Danny thought about it and nodded. Angela squealed with delight and rushed towards him once again but this time Danny sidestepped and she nearly crashed into a wall.

"I'll guide you to the Ten so you can try to release Damian from his bloodlust. But beware! The Ten will test if you are worthy enough to enter the Central Spire and the Great Hall of Chaos." Danny said and walked towards a tower that seemed to be made of magma. "This is the Tower of Fire. Here you must pass the test of Fire and prove your worth to him."

"Him?! You talk about Fire as if it was a person." Link said. Danny looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah. The Ten are the embodiments of the Ten Elements Damian controls. Fire and Ice, Thunder and Water, Wind and Earth, Wood and Metal and the Twins." Danny said. Link remembered when he learned the Song of Storms.

_Flashback_

"_And last come the Twins, the ones who share all. Darkness and Light are both hate and love."_

_End Flashback_

"The Twins…Darkness and Light." Link murmured and Danny nodded.

"That's right. Darkness and Light were born at the same time, while the others were born with some intervals between them." Danny said and opened the door of the Tower. "Be careful and watch your step. Fire is rather…fiery." He said and guided them inside. The interior of the Tower was different than the outside suggested. There were many pictures depicting great battles on the walls and many pikes stained with a red substance that Link didn't even want to guess. "This is the Hallway of War. In here, every major conflict in Damian's history is recorded and every pike represents a defeated and hated enemy. I see Fire finally listened to me and removed the heads, they were rather tacky." Danny said and the blondes looked at him with scared expressions.

"You mean there were actual heads impaled in these pikes?! I thought that these were simply used once and kept here for decorative purposes!" Link exclaimed. Danny sighed and shook his head.

"They are decorative! But Damian doesn't like to use pikes. He feels they're too impersonal." Danny said and they walked the rest of the way in silence, except for an incessant dripping.

"What the hell is that dripping?!" Link asked exasperated. Danny raised his hand and caught a drop of a red substance.

"It's blood. The blood of everyone that has enraged Damian." He said and they continued walking. After a few minutes of walking they reached a huge door with runes etched on the surface. "'Abandon Rage all who wish to survive, lest it should consume ye.' That's what it says." Danny translated and opened the door. Inside the room they saw a great and oddly shaped throne. The back of the throne was shaped as a flame and the arms had scorch marks. Sitting on the throne was a man wearing a blood red cloak.

"So, the asshole chosen by the bitches and the big breasted angelic whore have come here." The man said with a voice filled with scorn. The blondes glared at him until Danny walked up to him.

"You should have more respect, Fire. You know he has respect for him and feelings for her." Danny said and Fire had the decency to remove his hood, revealing his blood red eyes and his face.

"Well, the fact that you live in the Central Spire doesn't give you the right to order me around!" Fire yelled at Danny. Danny smirked.

"You are right, that doesn't give me the right. My powers are what give me the right." Danny said still smirking. "Now, they have come to face the Trial of Fire and remove your barrier." He said and now Fire smirked. It was the same sadistic smirk Link feared.

"Have they now? Hehehe. It feels like centuries since I gave anyone the Trial." Fire said, standing from his throne. He walked to the center of the room and materialized a cleaver of black flame that Link recognized as the Ignis Fatuus. "To pass the Trial of Fire you have to land a single clean hit on me." He said and Link sighed with relief. "Did I mention that every time you attack in anger my weapon will grow bigger and I will grow stronger and faster?" Fire said, his smirk widening. Link and Angela stared at him. "I feed on anger, I thrive in combat and I grow in passion for I am Fire!" He yelled and a pair of flaming wings appeared on his back. "Now, come and try to hit me!" He laughed and materialized a second cleaver. "Come taste the Ignes Fatui!"

"You can bet your ass we will!" Link yelled and rushed at Fire. Fire laughed and parried every blow Link launched.

"Come on, don't tell me that's the best you can do. If it is, then the little bitch has no chance in hell to save her kingdom. And the green haired slut, your bastard brother, the fish whore and the hooker in the shadows will die. And everyone you care about will die too and they will do so cursing your name!" Fire taunted and Link felt anger pooling inside of him. "Hehehe, good! Feel the anger! Allow rage to guide you! Let it fuel your power and maybe then you will present a minimal threat to me." Fire laughed. Link almost allowed his rage to be unleashed when he remembered something Damian told him once… (This happened behind the scenes)

_Flashback_

_They had just left the Graveyard and were heading to the windmill when Damian suddenly stopped.__ "Link." He said, Link stopped and looked at his cloaked companion. "I have an advice to give you. Don't allow rage to control you. It may give you a boost of power, but if you allow it to control you, it will consume you." Damian said. Link chuckled a bit._

"_You don't follow what you preach." Link said and Damian chuckled._

"_I do, if I allowed rage to truly control me, this dimension and everyone in it would be destroyed." He said._

_End of Flashback_

"_He was right. This guy just wants to goad me into attacking in anger so his own powers will grow." _Link thought. He took a deep breath and calmed himself. "Stick and stones might break my bones, but words will be gone." He said and calmly attacked. Fire was taken aback by Link's retaliation and took a more defensive stance.

"Damn it! You bastard! Why do you repress your anger?!" Fire asked.

"Because a friend of mine told me that if I allowed rage to control me I would be consumed by it." Link said as he pressed his attack. Finally he saw a hole in Fire's defense and plunged his sword deep into Fire's stomach.

"Urgh." Fire said and doubled over. "Heh. Good job, my friend." He said and stood normally. Link saw that the wound was gone and that Fire's eyes no longer held killing intent in them. "You have passed the Test of Fire. You have controlled rage and now rage has no hold over you. But remember, Fire also means passion and that will never die." Fire said and walked to his throne. "Go now, the master awaits you." He said and sat on his throne. "May your soul burn with passion in the face of your enemies and your friends."

"Thanks." Link said and walked to Danny and Angela.

"I'm impressed." Danny said. "You're the first mortal to pass the Trial of Fire." He said looking at Link with something akin to awe in his eyes. "But let me tell you that Fire's test is one of the easiest, because he likes to keep things simple. The other will be a lot harder." Danny said and guided the blondes out of the Tower. "So, which Tower do you want to visit next?" Danny asked. Link thought for a moment.

"How about the opposite one to this one? The Tower of Ice." Link asked and Danny nodded.

"Very well, follow me." He said and guided the blondes to a Tower made of ice (pretty inconspicuous isn't it?). "This is the Tower of Ice and keep your jokes to yourselves." Danny said and opened the door. Inside the main hallway was covered in paintings as well, but they were paintings of everyday things. "This is the Hall of Indifference. Every painting represents an act or situation that Damian doesn't pay attention to." Danny explained and continued to guide them towards another great door. "'Abandon apathy ye who would enter for it equals death.' That's what it says." Danny translated and opened the door. Inside was a room with the same basic design that the Hall of Fire, but the back of the throne had a snowflake design and the arms of the throne had a thick layer of ice on them. There, sitting cross legged on the throne was a figure dressed in a light green cloak.

"So, they chose to come here next huh?" The man sighed and removed his hood, revealing his light green eyes. "I don't care; I will give them the Trial simply so they will leave me alone." He said and walked to the center of the room and materialized a vicious looking spear with a serrated edge. "Come, who will take the trial? The Cocytus Spear will show you the Trial." He said and Angela walked towards him. "So, his lover wishes to take the Trial of Ice? I don't really care." He sighed and stood right before Angela. "The Trial consists simply of a choice." He said and made a long cutting movement with his spear. The air shifted and showed Angela two openings. "The choice is simple, if you take the left path, you will be reconstituted as a Seraph and you will be honored as Ouranos' daughter but you will forever forget your lover and will have never been sent to reclaim the scythe. But if you choose the right one, you will forever be shunned from Heaven and continue to live as a Fallen, but he will remain by your side and love you as he does now. Choose carefully." Ice explained. Angela weighted her options, on one hand she did miss living in Heaven and missed her father but on the other hand she loved Damian with all her heart and wanted to help him.

"I choose the right path." She finally answered and Ice nodded.

"Are you sure of your decision?" He asked and Angela nodded. "Then you choose to continue suffering instead of a life of ignorance." He said and shook his head. "I'm almost impressed. You have passed the Trial. You have mastered your indifference and your apathy and they no longer have any hold over you. But remember that you must keep a cool head when you try to solve life's problems and puzzles." He said and walked to his throne. "May the frost never touch your hearts and may you keep a cool head." He said and sat down. "I don't care one way or another but I believe the ruler is awaiting you."

"Of course. Thank you and goodbye." Angela said and skipped to Link and Danny.

* * *

Me: That's the first one inside Damian's mind! Somehow I feel that I failed to express the totality of the madness that I had planed for these two elements…Anyway, I'm going to allow you to decide which pair of elements come next! Will it be Thunder and Water, Air and Earth or Wood and Metal? You decide! Read and Review!. 


	18. Chapter 18

Me: Chapter 18!

Jack: So, which elements will the blondes face next?

Me: I dunno!

Jack: What?!

Me: That's right! No one voted and I'm too fucking bored to wait so…I'll decide with some pieces of paper and my little sister's help!

Jack: This won't be good…

Me: Shaddap. And the winners are… (CENSORED!)

Mike: Congratulations.

Jack: You do realize that you are congratulating a pair of elements.

Me: Leave him alone. Now, say the goddamned disclaimer and let us plunge into insanity.

Jack & Mike: He doesn't own LoZ.

Me: Go!

* * *

Last time, the blondes passed the Trials of Fire and Ice and left with Danny, Damian's inner child. Let us watch how they try to decide which tower to enter next…

"Rock, Paper, Scissors!" Link yelled and his hand shot forward. He pulled scissors, Angela pulled paper and Danny pulled scissors. "Ha! Now we have ruled out Wood and Metal." Link said at a pouting Angela and a smirking Danny. "So, if I win, we will go to the Towers of Water and Thunder." He said.

"And when _I _win we will go to the Towers of Air and Earth." Danny said. Link nodded and pulled his hand back. "Rock, Paper, Scissors!" Danny and Link yelled at the same time and shot their hands forward. Link pulled paper and Danny pulled scissors. "Ha! I won! Yahoo!" Danny yelled and jumped up and down. Link and Angela looked at him with surprised expressions. "What? Never seen a boy celebrating a victory?" Danny asked.

"No, that's not it. It's just that…I never thought that I would see Dan doing that." Angela said.

"Well, I'm his inner child. I'm all the innocence and playfulness that he had to repress while growing up. I'm also one of the most powerful essences here." Danny said smiling. Link wondered about this.

"Who are the others?" He asked, but was ignored as Danny ran towards a Tower made of a strange gray ore.

"Come and catch me, you slowpokes!" Danny yelled and wiggled his butt at them.

"Why you little-" Link said and ran after him. Danny ran to the Tower, laughing all the way. Five minutes later, Link nearly collapsed from exhaustion.

"What, done already? Aw, man! I was just starting to have fun." Danny exclaimed pouting. Angela, after squealing at the sheer cuteness (shudder) of that, ran towards him. "Yikes!" Danny said and stared to run from her. He outran her for about thirty seconds before he was tackled in a bone crushing hug. "You…are lucky…I'm part of…Damian…or I would be…crippled by now." He managed to get past that death grip. Angela smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of her neck. "Seriously, why do you squeal like a pig and rush at me like a warthog every time I pout or something like that?" He asked and she looked at him with glee in her eyes.

"You are just so cute!" She said and Danny shuddered (Well, what did you expect her to say? He is a physical manifestation of the innocence of the man she loves. Of course she thinks he is cute.). Danny opened the door and guided them inside. The hallway was covered not with paintings, but with sculptures of great detail and made of different gems and ores.

"This is the Hallway of Concentration. These statues represent Damian's focus on doing something." Danny said and Link saw a statue, or rather a group of statues that caught his eye.

"Say, Danny? Who are these people?" He asked and Danny looked in the direction Link was looking. Suddenly his eyes fell and he had a look full of sorrow in them.

"That's Damian's family." He said. Link and Angela looked at him with shock and then back at the statues. "The tall man is Dad, that lady is Mom and the little boy is Damian." Danny said. Link nodded and turned, but Angela noticed something wrapped in a blanket in Damian's Mother' arms.

"What is this?! Is this a baby?!" She asked and Danny sighed.

"Yes. That's little sister. She was a newborn when Mom died." He said. Angela nodded. "Come, Earth awaits us." He said and walked away from the statues.

"Hey, I've been meaning to ask…exactly what kind of ore is this Tower made of? I've never seen anything like it before." Link asked and Danny looked at him with an amused smirk.

"It's adamantite, one of the hardest minerals in the universe." Danny explained. "And you have seen it before. Damian's Scythe is made of an alloy containing adamantite and the thrones of Fire and Ice are made of that same alloy." He said. They continued walking and reached yet another door with runes. "'Don't lose focus if ye wish to see the next day.' Sheesh! I told Earth he was too simplistic." Danny murmured and opened the door. Same story, great hall, great throne with a mountain design this time and a figure dressed in a brow tunic sitting on the throne. The blondes and Danny waited to be acknowledged…and waited…and waited…and-Oh you get the fucking idea! "Hey! Earth to…Earth! You have visitors!" Danny yelled exasperated. Earth stood up, walked to the center of the room and removed his hood, revealing dark brown eyes.

"Who will take the Trial?" He asked in a calm voice. Angela, feeling pretty confident for having cleared the Trial of Ice, walked forward. "Angela." He said and extended his hand. A huge axe made of adamantite formed in his hand. "The Trial is simple. Find the real me and you pass." He said. Angela looked at him with a confused look. Earth simply closed his eyes and suddenly three clones of him appeared. "Begin." He said and he and the clones melted into the ground.

"How am I supposed to find the real him if he vanishes?!" Angela asked. Link shook his head and Danny sighed.

"It's your Trial. We are not supposed to help you. But don't worry, Earth is many things but being a cheater is not one of them." He said and true, when he finished saying that Earth and his clones emerged from the ground.

"_Okay, think! He has to have a difference __from the clones; otherwise this Trial would be mere luck! Now, the clothes? Nah, they're all dressed the same. The hair? Nope. Come on think!" _She kept running through all the possibilities in her head. Link noticed something curious and approached Danny.

"Say, is it just me or does that one's axe different from the other ones?" He whispered to Danny and Danny turned to look at him.

"I'm impressed you noticed. Maybe you're not as dumb as you look." Danny whispered back with a trace of sarcasm. Meanwhile, Angela had not noticed that pretty obvious difference.

"_Come on, Think!"_ She kept telling herself, when she remembered something she had once discussed with Damian.

_Flashback_

"_Dan, you never concentrate! Your whole fighting style is based in instinct! You should focus more in what you're doing!" Angela was scolding him after he had received a rather nasty slash on his chest. He simply looked at her and smiled that damn smile that made her little heart flutter._

"_But if you focus too much in the small things, you will lose sight of the big picture. Take that creature you killed, for example. You were so focused in its arms that you missed its tail. I on the other hand, try not to focus so hard on something that I miss the rest of the picture." He said and smiled again. "What, no intelligent retort? You're getting slow, Angie." He said and chuckled at her blush. He walked towards her and rested his head on her lap. "You need to relax a little. So much stress is not good for your health and it certainly doesn't go with a girl as pretty as you." He murmured the last part and laid there for a while._

_End of Flashback_

"_Dan was right. I'm focusing on the smaller details when I should be seeing the whole picture." _She thought and started to watch them with less detail. "There!" She said pointing at the only one holding a gray axe. The man looked at her.

"Are you certain of your decision?" He asked and Angela nodded. "You pass." He said and the clones turned to clay and crumbled. Earth walked to his throne. "You have overcome your prejudice and now you look at the world with eyes unclouded. But remember, it is necessary to focus, but do not focus so hard that you lose sight of everything else." He said and stood before his throne. "May your resolution be as enduring as the mountains." He said and sat down. "Go, the ruler awaits you."

"We will. Thank you for your wisdom." Angela said but was ignored. "Why you rude-" She started but was cut short by a stalagmite that rose from the ground.

"Take that gem. The ruler asked me to craft it long ago, but what is time to the eternal soil?" Earth said and returned to his meditation. She grabbed the stone and saw that it was a bright blue gem with golden strands. Danny saw the gem and whistled.

"That's one of your best works yet, Earth. That's the most beautiful soulstone I have seen since the original two." He said, but was ignored as well. "You really need to be a bit more courteous." Danny sighed and shook his head. "Come on! We need to get to the next Tower." He said, pulling Angela out of her reverie. The blondes nodded and walked out behind him. Once they were out, Link asked which Tower they should go to next. "Have you forgotten? I won our little contest, so we will go to the Tower of Wind." Danny said and started to walk to a Tower that was made of light blue metal. Angela continued to look at the gem she had received.

"Danny?" She called and Danny looked at her. "What kind of gem is this?" She asked. Danny fidgeted for a moment before looking at her with a light blush.

"That's a soulstone. It's a special gem made by combining love, caring and a piece of the crafter's soul. Damian has made three of them as far as I know during his whole life. The first two were made at the same time, using the essence of the Twins and they were crafted for Damian's parents." He finished with a slight look of sorrow in his eyes.

"What happened to those two soulstones?" Angela asked.

"Damian wears the one he crafted for Dad and gave the other one to little sister." Danny said and opened the doors into the Tower. This time, the hallway was not covered in paintings or statues…it was covered in drawings. Link and Angela looked around in surprise and nearly jumped out of their skins when they heard Danny laugh. "This is one of my favorite places in the whole fortress. This is the Hallway of Happiness. Look carefully at the drawings." He told them and they did as instructed. They saw that in every drawing the people drawn were smiling or laughing. "Each drawing represents a happy moment in Damian's life." Danny said. They kept advancing and looking at every drawing until Link saw something that made him scream like a little girl. "What is it?!" Danny asked looking around until he saw the drawing Link was looking at. "Oh." Danny said. Angela looked more closely at the drawing and gasped. In the drawing was a bloody and young Damian smiling next to a tall man that looked exactly like Damian, only he had pitch black eyes and was missing the scar. Damian was dressed in a simple black cloak and had a bandage over his right eye and the man was dressed in black armor and had a gauntleted hand on Damian's head. "That was one of the happiest moments in Damian's life. That's the only time Dad told him he was proud of him." Danny said and ushered them on. They arrived at yet another big door with runes (This is getting somewhat repetitive…). "'In here happiness is the greatest treasure.' And I thought Earth was simplistic." Danny said shaking his head. He opened the door and the first thing they noticed was that the throne, shaped as a tornado, was empty. The occupant of the room was lying on his stomach on the ground with a sketchbook lying in front of him and a writing stick in his hand. His hood was thrown aside, revealing his light blue eyes. "Air!" Danny yelled. Air looked up and saw Danny. He quickly sprung to his feet and ran at him.

"Danny!" He yelled and hugged the small boy. When he broke the embrace he looked at the blondes. "Link! Angie!" He yelled and hugged them as well. "I assume you are here to take the Trial of Air, huh?" He asked and they nodded. He smiled and withdrew a bow that Link recognized as the Aether Bow. "The Trial is simple." He said and shot two blasts of air into the wall. "I assume you will take the Trial, huh Link?" He asked and Link nodded. "Alright! All passengers, please choose your path carefully and in the likely event of an emergency, bend your knees, place your head between them and kiss your ass bye-bye." He said, laughing all the while. "The Trial is similar to the Trial of Ice. You have to choose a path. If you choose the right path, you will be returned to your timeline and be spared of this quest and the subsequent destruction of Hyrule, but if you choose the left one, you will continue on with this quest and spread happiness all across your land. So? Which one will it be? Your own happiness or the happiness of everyone else?" Air asked, tilting his head to a side. Link scoffed.

"It's obvious! I choose the left path! I want to help the people of Hyrule." Link exclaimed and Air smiled wider.

"Alright! You pass! You have decided to spread one the greatest treasures to everyone rather than keep it to yourself. Remember that there is no happiest man that he who spreads happiness. May the winds of fortune bring you happiness and joy!" Air yelled. He looked at Danny and smiled again. "Be careful, Danny. And don't try to bite more than you can chew. I don't want to lose my game partner." Air said and went back to his drawings. The blondes and Danny left with amused smiles on their faces.

* * *

Me: That was the 18th chapter. I really wish you vote to select the next pair of elements. Thunder and Water or Wood and Metal? Please vote. R&R. 


	19. Chapter 19

Me: Chapter 19!

Jack: Psycho in the building!

Me: Thank you. Now, I have an announcement to make. Due to the fact that Damian is currently in a bloodlust induced rampage, he will be absent from the A/N cast for a while. Therefore I present Damian's substitute…Danny!

Danny: Thank you, my master.

Jack: Yeah, it was starting to get boring with only you and Mike here.

Me: Shut up. Danny, say the disclaimer.

Danny: The Legend of Zelda is property of Nintendo.

Me: Showtime!

* * *

Our heroes have passed the Trials of Fire, Ice, Earth and Air. Let us watch as they try to decide which Trial to tackle next…

"I tell you we should take the Trials of Water and Thunder!" Link yelled.

"And I tell you we should pass the Trials of Wood and Metal!" Angela yelled back and glared at Link. Danny who had disappeared for about five minutes returned and found them in the exact same position he had left them. He sighed and shook his head.

"You still fighting over which Tower to go to next?" He asked and was ignored. "I assume you are. Listen up! I have a method to decide this fairly." He said and the blondes finally looked at him. "I'm going to throw this medallion." He said holding a small silver medallion with a dragon engraved on one side and an eagle on the other. "Whoever calls it right gets to decide. Deal?" He said. The blondes looked at each other and nodded. "Good. Here it goes." He said and tossed the medallion upwards (I actually decided with a heads or tails which elements will come next…).

"Dragon!" Called Angela.

"Eagle!" Said Link.

"And the winner is…DRAGON! Angie, you decide which Towers we go to next." Danny said to a beaming Angela and a sulking Link. "So, which Tower do we head to next?" Danny asked.

"We go to the Tower of Wood!" She exclaimed. Danny nodded and guided them to a tower that looked more like a tree than a tower.

"This is the Tower of Wood. Pretty obvious, huh?" Danny said and opened the door. The hallway was covered in plants and unopened flower buds. "This is the Hallway of Timidity. Every plant here represents a moment in which Damian felt particularly timid or scared." Danny explained and the blondes noticed that he must've felt a great deal of fear or timidity in his life to fill the whole hallway. They advanced slowly due to the fact that there were many vines littering the floor and impeding movement. Finally they arrived at a great door. "'Those with timid hearts and minds filled with fear shall feel true horror.' That's better. At least he didn't write one of his pessimistic thoughts." Danny said and opened the door. The room was filled with plants of different kinds and the throne, shaped as a tree, was empty. The inhabitant of the room was walking around it with his hood on and a watering can in his hands. "Wood! You have visitors." Danny called and Wood turned to look at them. He waved nervously and removed his light brown hood to reveal kind light brown eyes.

"I suppose you want to take my Trial." He said. The blondes nodded. "Could you wait for a moment? I have to finish watering my friends." He said, motioning for them to sit in a couple of stumps. They nodded and sat down. They watched him water the plants and talk to them as if he expected them to talk back. After a while he finished and put the watering can down. "Who wants to take the Trial?" He asked. Angela stood up and walked forward. "You want to do it, Angie? Are you sure?" Wood asked and Angela nodded. "Very well." He said and extended both arms. A group of vines dropped from the ceiling, enveloped his arms and when they withdrew a pair of tonfas were in Wood's hands. "My test is really simple. It is almost the same test that my brother placed upon you." He said and Angela looked confused.

"Who's your brother?" She asked.

"Fire is my older brother." Wood answered and Angela stared in shock. "You have to defeat me using whatever weapon you can. That's it. The contest will be based on points. Every time you score a clean hit, you score a point. I will handicap myself and will only touch and I have to touch you five times before I score a point." Wood explained and dropped into a combat stance. "First one to reach three points wins." He said and motioned for her to get ready. "Come on."

"Alright!" She yelled and ran at him with her spear raised. He waited and when she was within striking range, he sidestepped and marked four consecutive hits. She was taken aback by his security in combat.

"Hey! Don't just stand there! Do something!" Link yelled. Danny looked at him and sighed.

"Don't you get it? She was surprised by Wood's security in combat. Wood is actually the most dangerous of Damian's emotions. He might be a bit timid as a person, but in combat you will never see him hesitate or make a move without thinking it first. The only ones I know that can defeat him in combat are Earth, Metal, the Twins and those who live in the Central Spire. Fire might be his older brother, but he has never defeated Wood in combat." Danny said. Link looked back to the fight and saw Angela panting in exhaustion.

"The score stands at 2-2." Wood said. "One more hit by any of us and it's over." He said and Angela nodded in understanding.

"_Damn it. I never expected Dan's timidity to be so skilled. My best bet is to wait and counter his next blow." _She thought and adopted a more defensive stance. Wood looked at her and cocked his head to a side. She beckoned him to come and he nodded. He ran straight at her, one tonfa raised to strike and the other one positioned in a stabbing position. She breathed deeply and waited, when Wood was about a feet away from her she raised her spear and stroke. Wood easily parried the blow with one hand and thought he had won, when he saw Angela spinning around and the butt of her spear heading straight for his head. The blow connected and Angela cheered.

"Good job. You mastered your indecision and it has no hold over you. But remember, timidity and hesitation are not the same thing, they may look the same at first, but being timid is no excuse to hesitate when other lives are at stake." Wood said and grabbed the watering can. "May the care you show for others bloom as the beautiful flowers of spring." He said and looked into the can. "The master awaits you. I don't presume to order you around but I think you should go to him." Wood said and walked to his throne.

"Ok. Thanks for being so kind." Angela said smiling and Wood blushed. He stuttered a "no problem" and turned to look at the throne.

"As shy and modest as always." Danny said shaking his head. He motioned for the blondes to follow him and left. Once they were outside, Danny turned to look at them. "So, which Tower should we go next?" He asked.

"Next is the Tower of Metal." Angela said. Danny nodded and guided them towards a tower made of a silver metal.

"Here it is. The Tower of Metal, home to one of the most insane elements in the whole fortress." Danny said and opened the door. The hallway walls were covered with weapons, spears, swords, axes, you name it, and it is probably there. "This is the Hallway of Courage. Every weapon represents Damian's courage when facing something." Danny explained and continued to guide them for a while, until…"Duck!" He yelled and the blondes did, wondering why he said that until they rose and saw a guillotine embedded in the wall behind them. "I told Metal he shouldn't leave his toys lying around." Danny said shaking his head. They advanced a bit more slowly to keep an eye on the walls and ceilings so that they wouldn't be impaled by another trap. Finally they arrived at the big door. "'Leave fear behind if ye wish to survive. Only those that live courageously may continue to draw breath if they enter here.' Man, overly dramatic." Danny said and opened the door. The room was silver everywhere. The throne was shaped like a blade and the inhabitant, who wore a silver cloak, was with his back turned to them and hammering on an anvil. After a few seconds the man lifted a beautifully crafted sword.

"Long sword. Material used: Mythril. Length: 3 feet long. Weight: 10 pounds. Conclusion: Failure. Too heavy." The man said and threw the sword on a pile he had next to him. He reached for another piece of metal, when he noticed them. "Hiya! I'm Metal. I assume you want to take my Trial." He said and the blondes nodded. Metal smirked and removed his hood, revealing his silver eyes. "Before you say something, yes my eyes are natural silver, yes I do like the color silver and I know that I exaggerated a bit with the color when designing this place, but I have an excellent motive for that…I was bored." He said and Link and Angela face planted. Metal laughed out loud because of that. "Oh boy, that was rich!" He said and wiped his eyes. "Anyway, who will take the Trial?" He asked and Link took a step forward. "So you will take my test?" He asked again and Link nodded. "Let me warn you that my test is the most lethal of them all. If you fail, you and everyone who cares about you will die. Are still certain that you wish to take it?" Metal asked again and Link nodded again. Metal smiled. "You pass." He said simply and Link fell to the ground in surprise. "Hahahahaha! You should consider being a joker or a comedian. My trial is the trial of Courage. You had the courage to stand in front of someone who threatened to, and that you knew could, kill you and I assure you that if I was as hotheaded as my friend Fire I would've done it. You showed courage in the face of a far superior foe and that takes a lot of balls." Metal said smirking. He then turned and grabbed a piece of metal. "May your spirit be as strong as the sword you carry. Remember, one thing is to be brave and another one is to be an idiot. Don't hesitate to ask for help when you need it. And also remember, a sword holds no power if the hand that wields it holds no courage. Without courage a sword is nothing but a blunt piece of steel." Metal said and started to hammer on the metal.

"Told you he was nuts." Danny said and guided them outside. Once they were outside, Danny sat on a stone that was lying there. Link looked around and once again noticed the lines in the ground.

"Danny." He said and Danny looked at him. "You said before that these lines formed something called Chaos' Decagram, right?" He asked and Danny nodded. "Exactly what is Chaos' Decagram?" He asked and Danny sighed.

"Let me put it this way…The Angels, like Angie here, are masters of the upright pentacle star, which consists of Light, Water, Earth, Wood and Ice. Meanwhile, the Demons are masters of the upside-down pentagram, which consists of Darkness, Thunder, Air, Metal and Fire. Chaos' however was master of everything; he was capable of controlling the Ten Elements. So, the Decagram is the combining form of the two pentagrams. It represents perfect balance." Danny explained and Link nodded in understanding. "We should rest for a moment. The following Trials are sure to be harder than these." Danny said and the blondes sat down.

* * *

Me: Shortest chapter of the inside arc if I'm not mistaken. This arc will soon arrive at its end. Read & Review. 


	20. Chapter 20

Me: Chapter twenty.

Danny: Congratulations.

Me: Thanks, I apologize if the last chapter wasn't as good as the previous ones, but I have a mild case of writer's block. I also had no idea how to portrait timidity, so I went with the flow. I think there'll be two other chapters after this and then we're back in the original story. Also, be warned. This chapter could be considered a bit angsty, since one of the elements that remain is Water and he is a rather angsty/emo person.

Danny: He doesn't own OoT.

Me: Let's get this over with…

* * *

Our heroes have successfully passed the Trials of Fire, Ice, Earth, Air, Wood and Metal. Now, they're trying to decide which Tower to go to next…

"Okay, that's it!" Danny yelled at the pair of blondes that had played twenty rounds of rock, paper, scissors and where still unable to decide. "I say we go to the Tower of Water and that's where we're going!" He said with a glare and the blondes, who had never seen that face of Danny before, squeaked like mice and nodded. Danny's mood made a one-eighty and he smiled at them. "I'm glad you saw reason." He said, still smiling, and walked to a Tower with a lot of water flowing around it. "This is the Tower of Water. Home to the most depressive person you will ever see." Danny said and opened the door. The inside was morbidly depressive and the walls were covered in paintings that depicted things like murdered children and dying women. "This is the Hallway of Sorrow. Every painting represents Damian's sadness and regret." Danny explained and continued to walk. They kept walking until Angela made a strange sound, a mix between a sob and a yelp. Danny and Link rushed to her and saw what she was looking at. It was a painting of great detail portraying a little blond girl attacking a boy with black hair with a spear. In the lower edge of the painting there was written a message in a red substance. The message read: **I have felt love for the first time and it will be a long while, before the love that is mine to be given to someone else again. **"Damian wrote that with his blood shortly after the incident with the scythe. You wouldn't have liked the state he was in. Water came out more easily that Fire. The Twins wouldn't come out of their hate phase and even Ice was hurt. One of the worse times of his life." Danny said with a look of sorrow in his eyes, he yelled and slapped himself. "Dammit! I hate this place! It always brings back the worst memories of my life!" He yelled, grabbing the sides of his head and fell on his knees. He stayed in that position for over a minute, until Angela knelt and hugged him.

"Everything is alright now, I'm here." She said. Danny nodded and broke the embrace. He smiled at Angela and walked to a big door.

"'Do not turn thy back on sorrow. Accepting it and moving on is what makes thee stronger.' So now he writes a crappy self-help line. I've been on his case for years now and he had never changed his message." Danny said while shaking his head and opened the door. The room looked more like an aquarium than a throne room, the floor was covered in water, and the figure that sat on the throne, which was shaped like a water drop, sat with his shoulders shaking every now and then as if he was sobbing. "Water, you have visitors." Danny said and the man removed his dark blue hood to reveal even darker blue eyes.

"I'm sure that they come for the Trial. No one visits me out of want, only the ruler." Water said, his eyes shining with unshed tears. He reluctantly stood up and walked to the center of the room. He looked at them with eyes that reminded Link of the eyes of a dead man. "Now, who will take the Trial?" He asked. Angela took a step forward. He looked at her and tears began to trickle down his cheeks. "You want to hurt me again? You want to shatter my heart again? You want me to add another painting to the Hallway?" He asked with streams of tears running from his eyes. Angela noticed how hurt he seemed and her eyes began to well up with tears as well. She began to cry fully when Water showed her his arms, full of cuts. "These, I made to myself. I thought that if I felt physical pain, I would forget about the emotional one." Water said and began to weep again. Angela nearly cried her eyes out at that. Did that mean that she had hurt Damian so deeply that his emotions had actually resorted to self-inflicted pain to escape the sorrow? She cried until her throat felt hoarse.

"Angela! Snap out of it!" Danny yelled at her. "Remember that Damian loves you. Do you think that he wants you to cry because of him?!" Danny asked. Angela wanted to believe that, truly. But the look in Water's eyes when he saw her, so full of sadness, was still fresh in her mind. She was so busy crying that she didn't notice the door opening and another man walking in.

"Water. That is enough." The man said with a voice they found very familiar…Damian's voice (They've been inside his mind for the past three chapters, of course they find it familiar.). They turned to look at the newcomer and saw that he was dressed in a pure white cloak.

"Light." Danny said, obviously confused. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be guarding your Tower." Danny asked. Light looked at him for the first time.

"The ruler asked me to come here. He told me to come here and show something to Angela." He said and walked towards Angela. Once he got there, he raised his hand and wiped away her tears. "He told me, one of the emotions he is most in touch with, to show you this." He said and kissed Angela. Once he broke the kiss he turned and looked at Water. "She has passed your test. She has accepted that the ruler has forgiven her." Light said and Water nodded. Light turned to look at Angela. "You who has passed the Trials of my partners. There is still one more Trial for you to pass. Go to my Tower and enter my Throne Room. There, you will meet someone and she will give you a key. Use that key in tandem with my brother's key and enter the Central Spire. Our Trials must be taken together." He said and vanished in a flash of light. Water wiped his eyes and sat down on his throne.

"You passed the Trial when you accepted leader Light's kiss. You have conquered your sorrow and have moved on. But remember, don't turn a blind eye to the suffering of others but rather try to sooth them. May the gentle rain wash away your pain and suffering." Water said. They nodded and left. Once they were outside the Tower, Danny stopped and turned to look at them.

"We're nearly done here. Just Thunder and the Twins left." Danny said. He started to walk towards a Tower made of purple metal and with many lightning rods. "Thunder is one of the most psychotic people you will ever meet. Fire is more aggressive, but Thunder is far more sadistic." Danny said and opened the door. The hallway was covered not in paintings, sculptures or drawings, but in something far more macabre…impaled corpses. Angela and Link looked ready to lose their lunch and even Danny seemed disgusted by the state the bodies were in. "I've told that bastard time and time again that killing them is enough, he doesn't have to impale them afterwards." Danny said his pupils transformed into mere slits. He led them in a huff towards the large gate with a message etched in blood. "'He who would enter must empty his heart of scorn, lest he turns into that which he has hunted.' Seems to me that he expects Link to take the Trial." Danny said and opened the door. The room was uncharacteristically non-descript, with the sole exception of the throne, shaped as lightning. The man staying there was already standing in the center of the room with his purple hood down, revealing bright yellow eyes, and a huge hammer in his hands. The man smirked when he saw them.

"Asshole in green. Take a step forward." He said and Link did it. "Good, at least you are obedient. I am Thunder. I'm a superior being that will demean himself to test you." Thunder said, still smirking sadistically. "The Trial is simple, because you don't deserve to stand in my presence. We will fight. If you manage to hit me, you pass. Now, begin!" He said and rushed at Link. Link barely avoided the hit and rolled on the floor. Thunder continued to attack relentlessly in a way that reminded Link of King Dodongo, all power, no finesse. Link avoided all of Thunder's strikes with relative ease.

"_This guy is fairly unskilled. Unlike Fire he doesn't posses any strategy. He is hoping to overwhelm me with raw power." _Link thought while he avoided yet another strike. Thunder was getting really annoyed, so he tried another strategy.

"Tell me…how is the little bitch with the green hair? Is she still alive? You do realize that now that she is a Sage she will have to stay in that forsaken chamber forever now, right?" He asked with a smirk. Link merely returned the smirk.

"Yeah, right. The joke's on you. Damian told me that we would meet again and I trust him." He said and attacked Thunder. "Darunia, Ruto, Impa and Saria trust me to save Hyrule and I won't disappoint them by failing in this stupid Trial!" He yelled and plunged his sword deep into Thunder's chest.

"Urgh." Was all Thunder could utter before he dropped to his knees. Link removed his sword and sheathed it. Thunder began to rise and gather energy in his hands. "You stupid inferior being! How dare you to touch me! You will die for that!" Thunder yelled before he charged at Link with his hands full of lightning.

"Enough." Said another voice and suddenly Thunder was thrown hard against his throne. They all turned to see who had saved Link and they saw a man in the blackest cloak they had ever seen. "You lost, Thunder. You lost because you thought you could goad him into attacking with the same trick your older brother used." The man said. Thunder looked bewildered by the presence of the man.

"But lord Darkness! He dared touch me! That inferior being touched me, no, he _hurt _me!" Thunder yelled. Darkness sighed and shook his head.

"Thunder…be quiet. Remember that the master considers everyone as equals. And besides, your Trial required him to hit you in order to pass. And your fighting skills are sub par, I expect you to meditate that we are all equals as Master Damian and Lord Chaos want and to come practice in the courtyard twice a day with Fire and Wood." Darkness said before turning to see Link. "Well done, my friend. You have passed the Trials of my partners. My Trial must be taken at the same time as my brother's. Go to my Tower, enter my Throne Room and get a key there. Use the key to open the gates of the Central Spire and enter. My brother and I will be waiting for you there." He said, before vanishing into his namesake. Thunder grumbled for a moment before sitting on his throne and glaring at them.

"Yeah well, as Lord Darkness said, you pass. Leave now, before I decide to electrocute your asses to kingdom come." He said and the blondes and Danny were only to happy to oblige.

* * *

Me: There! Crappy chapter but that's the best I can do right now. As I said this is me trying to beat my writer's block. Read, Review and, since I'm going to open the gates of Damian's inner mind, you may post a request for a memory explaining something you want to know about him or his past. 


	21. Chapter 21

Me: Chapter 21!

Jack: Are you back as your normal demented self?

Me: Yes! I'm actually quite happy.

Mike: Why?

Me: Because I have my dissection kit!

Jack: Holy Shit! He got a set of knives and pliers to open people?! Run, to the hills!

Me: Ignore him. Now, I admit I'm a bit saddened by the lack of reviews, but that won't discourage me to continue this story! I started it, so I want to finish it!

Danny: Good. He only owes me, Angie and the Idiot running around warning people to run to the hills.

Me: Let us plunge into insanity once more.

* * *

The blondes have passed all the Trials except that of the Twins. We join them in front of the Central Spire…

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to continue on your own." Danny said, stopping in front of the door. The blondes looked at him with shocked expressions. "I can read your faces, it's because you don't need a guide anymore. Your path is clear now. You, Link, must go to the black tower and you, Angie, must go to the white one. It really isn't very hard." He said and started to phase through the wall. "See ya later." He said and vanished completely, leaving two very confused blondes.

"Why do you think he did that?" Link asked. Angela shook her head and began walking to the white Tower. "Well, I guess I should get going as well." Link said to himself and walked to the black Tower. "Holy-!" The Tower was far more imposing up close. It was made of a black metal that seemed to absorb light, giving no glow, it had a multitude of turrets and strange characters were engraved on the metal. The door, made of obsidian, had an upside-down five pointed star drawn on it. Link stared at it feeling strangely drawn to it. He shook his head to clear it and opened the door. The hallway was empty, except for a few candles with flickering black flames here and there. The whole place gave Link the impression of being back in the Shadow Temple. "This place is creepy, but I feel like I have nothing to fear here…Odd." He said to no one in particular and continued to walk, oblivious to the glowing red eyes that seemed to follow his every movement. He arrived at a huge black gate with runes engraved on it. "Damn it! I can't read these chicken scrawling!" He yelled and didn't notice the two figures that stepped out of the shadows behind him.

"How could I've been defeated by this idiot?" Asked one of the figures. Link turned around and saw someone, or rather some_thing_, which he had hoped would have stayed dead…his shadow.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Link asked while unsheathing his sword. Dark Link chuckled and waved his hand up and down.

"Relax, I won't try to kill you now. The Master forbid it and explained that if I had killed you, I would've died as well." Dark Link said. Link looked at him with a suspicious glare. Dark Link was about to punch him when a gauntleted hand fell on his shoulder. Link noticed the other figure for the first time and nearly chocked on his own saliva. There, standing behind Dark Link, was Damian's Shadow. Link though for a moment and nearly slapped his own head about how stupid he had been, of course Shadow would be here, it was the freakin' Tower of Darkness for the goddesses' sake.

"Hey, Shadow. Long time no see." He greeted. Shadow merely looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"You saw me about three days ago. That's not long." Shadow answered in a voice calmer and a bit slower than Damian's. While Link pondered this a new revelation hit him like a brick. Shadow talked! Come to think of it…since when could Dark Link talk?! "Before you ask why we had never talked before, I'll tell you. You have been touched by Darkness. Only those who have mastered most of the dark elements can communicate with shadows and you, my friend, have mastered four of the five dark elements. That's why you felt draw to the Pentagram of Darkness. But I digress…you have to enter the throne room and get the key of shadow to open the Central Spire where my Master awaits. The message says 'Darkness and Light are not to be torn apart. Be together they must for they both shall endure while the other lasts.'" Shadow translated and stepped into his namesake, motioning for Dark Link to follow. Dark Link sighed but obeyed and soon the both vanished into the Darkness from whence they came.

"Ok, here goes nothing." Link said to himself as he opened the gate. The throne room was practically bare, except for a tapestry depicting a starry sky and the throne itself. He allowed his eyes to adjust to the even dimmer light and began to look around. He spotted a tall figure staring at the tapestry and walked closer. "Darkness, is that you?" He asked quietly. The figure sighed and turned around.

"You are that kid, chosen by those little girls." The figure said in a voice somewhat different from Damian's. Link nodded. "Indeed, I am darkness. I am the first kin hater and the first one to feel love…and how I hate that." He said and, as his eyes grew more accustomed to the darkness, Link noticed the man's clothing. He was clad in black armor and wore a tattered black cape, Link realized that this wasn't a part of Damian; all of Damian's emotions wore the same kind of cloak and leather armor, while this guy wore a cape and metal armor.

"Who are you?" He asked and the man smirked a little, looking exactly like Damian for a moment.

"You said so yourself. I am that which opposes Light. I am the original Darkness, Erebus, Son of Chaos." He answered and Link took a step back in surprise.

"You're Damian's father!" Link yelled and Erebus looked a bit saddened at the mention of Damian's name.

"Yes, he is one of my children. The greatest after Thanatos. I am sure that he still bears a grudge against me." He said. Link watched Erebus' expression carefully, he remembered that he was supposedly the strongest demon ever to exist. But curiosity got the best of him.

"Why are you here? Damian told me he killed you." Link asked and Erebus looked at him with a slight smirk.

"He did, only he forgot one of the main laws of Hell. 'If a Demon kills another in combat, the survivor gains the powers, title and responsibilities of the deceased.' That is the law and all Demons must abide by them…even half-bloods. So, he absorbed my consciousness with my powers and status. That shadow you fought in the wet place was not mine, I don't have a shadow." He said and Link looked bewildered.

"Of course it was yours! That shadow looked exactly like you! Even Damian said that it was your shadow!" Link yelled but Erebus shook his head.

"He was confused, his anger and his hatred must've clouded his mind. I don't have a shadow since-" He started but stopped in the middle of the sentence.

"Since what?" Link asked.

"Since I met the mother of my last children." Erebus finished and Link nodded for him to go on. "She was the enemy commander in the last battle that has been fought…well, the last declared battle of the War anyway. I was not commanding at the scene at the moment but rather had my shadow do it. Fifty years after the battle started, news reached me that my shadow had been destroyed by the enemy commander. At first I was enraged, but then I felt something that I had not felt for millennia…the excitement of battle. I sent no message but rather left immediately and arrived at the scene of, not a battle, a vicious routing. Our cavalry laid dead, our archers were outmatched and even our great battle dragons were having difficulties. Needless to say I was thrilled, there I was at the scene of one of the greatest battles of the War and, for the first time in centuries, the enemy appeared to have a decent commander! I charged forward and slew most of the enemy army, giving an order to the highest ranking officer present to withdraw. Once I had slain the enemy knights, she arrived." He said and his eyes glazed over, he was lost in his memories. "Wearing an armor of Aionis, a metal that is only found in Heaven and in a comet orbiting a strange world in another reality, and wielding a golden sword made of condensed light, she appeared to be my exact opposite. I wore my Necrosilver armor and summoned my dark blade and we began the dance of death. She struck more often that not, but I was stronger and every blow I delivered hurt her more than five of her blows hurt me. So entranced were we by our dance that we didn't notice a Fallen that, acting under Lucifer's orders no doubt, was aiming at my heart with a bow. The coward shot from afar and nearly hit me, only that I dodged a blow that she threw at me and that saved me from a bothersome wound…she wasn't so fortunate. The arrow pierced one of her lungs and she fell. One of the few remaining dragons saw this and ate the little bastard, but I felt strange. I didn't want her to die, so I removed the arrow and healed the wound. She woke up a few days later and when she saw me she asked why I had saved her." He chuckled a little. "I remember the look on her face when I answered her. She was so shocked that if I had had a camera with me I would've taken a picture." He started laughing. Link still couldn't imagine what was so funny.

"What did you answered?" He finally asked the laughing Demon.

"'For Honor'" He answered. "She looked at me as if she thought that I ought not to know that word. After a little small talk, the next thing I know is that I am holding her against me and I'm doing something I hadn't done in so many years that it isn't even funny…I was kissing her. I lived with her in the Void between dimensions and about…nineteen years ago, our child was born. It was amazing how closely he resembled my Father in aura, but he had his mother's eyes…or I would like to say that but he had mismatched eyes, something that had been unseen for as long as my Father had been dead. I made my first parental mistake then…I gave him some of the blood I kept in storage for special occasions so he would be quiet but that drove him crazy and he nearly obliterated the Void. We moved to Hell, since his mother had been banished and I'm not exactly popular up there, and that's when the real hell began…pun intended. I was forced to act as if I didn't care about him and I saw as he grew resented but powerful. Once he turned four, I sent him to recover the Scythe his eldest brother forged and I could not mask my pride when he returned, bloodied and injured, but victorious. When he turned seven he was as powerful as I was…maybe even more so. But, alas, I could not give him the title I was saving for him, for tragedy struck our family. My wife, his mother, died while giving birth to my last child, a little girl that so closely resembled my dear departed Nyx that she was named Lilith Nyx. My son managed to juggle being the Angel of Death, his research of weaponry and taking care of his baby sister and for a while it seemed that everything would be alright…but fate has a way of kicking us in the balls when we least expect it and it hurts us the most. Most of the other Lords began whispering that my son was developing weapons of demon-bane and that he spent too much time training in Angelic spells. They voted me to go and demand that he hand over the weapons he developed. He refused, saying that those weapons were for mortals so that they could protect themselves from the Demons and Angels that hunted them for sport. I made the biggest and most stupid mistake I had in all my existence…I attacked my son. He flew into frenzy and managed to defeat me. As I laid dying, I saw him take his sister and flee. Next thing I know I'm here. I am sure that he hates me, Darkness and Light are both hate and love and I am in the Tower of Darkness. I can put two and two together." He finished sighing sadly.

"You've obviously never been to the Tower of Wind. One of the Hallways is covered in drawings that depict the happiest moments in Damian's life and one of the most detailed ones is when you placed your hand on his head when he returned with the Scythe. He forgave you when he defeated that shadow in the Water Temple. He loves you and respects you. That's why you are here, he doesn't hate you." Link said. Erebus looked at him and gave him a weak smile. "Ok, now that is creepy. Damian looks so much like you that it isn't funny!" He yelled and Erebus gave a short bark of laughter.

"He is my son after all. Here, take this key." He said and gave Link a key that appeared to be cut in half with an upside-down Pentagram on one end. "That is the Dark Key. You have to use it along with the Light Key to open the door of the Central Spire. And, when you see Damian, tell him I'm sorry for everything that I put him through and that I was always proud of him." He said and Link nodded. Erebus turned his back on him and Link understood that Damian's father wanted to be alone. He left whistling a Saria's Song and throwing the key up and down.

* * *

Me: Sorry! I'm gonna have to cut it here for now. Now, I know that this chapter probably was not what you might have been expecting, but I still have not gotten over my writer's block and school's been a bitch. I also wanted to explain Damian's past through his father's eyes, since I'm pretty sure that most of you that spared some thought to him saw him as a heartless son of a bitch and had branded him as a villain (And I as sure as hell didn't help by setting that shadow back at the Water Temple…). Next time…Angela's pass through the Tower of Light and some other points of Damian's past revealed by someone who you probably have already guessed. Oh, before I forget, Lilith is a Hebrew name that means 'the nocturnal (Female)' and obviously Nyx means night. Remember her, she will make an appearance in a future fic. That's all for tonight folks! Read, Review and remember, if you want more info on Damian send your question in a review and I'll see if I can squeeze the answer in the story. R&R. 


	22. Chapter 22

Me: At long last…Chapter 22! I have been dead, but I shall rise from the ashes and brimstone of the grave in order to fulfill my promise! I will finish what I have started…seriously, with school getting in my way and my muse kicking me in the nuts and leaving like a bad bitch I have been unable to continue this. But I have returned and this time I'll make sure to keep my muse in chains 'till I finish this! I own nothing but my insanity and the characters you have grown to love (or hate)

* * *

Last time we saw Link have a rather one-sided conversation with Damian's father. While this happened, let us see what Angela was up to…

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF HEAVEN IS THIS?! A TOWER MADE OF AIONIS?! WHERE IN THE SEVEN HEAVENS DID HE GET SO MUCH OF THE STUFF?!" Angela yelled when she caught sight of the Tower of Light. It was made out of a white metal that radiated its own light. The door was made of diamond and it had a five-pointed star engraved on it. "Huh? That's the crest of the Royal Family of Heaven. Wonder why it's here." She asked herself. After failing to reach an answer that satisfied her she shrugged it of and entered the Tower. The Hallway was bare, except for a few candles with flickering white flames (What? The Twins' Towers are the same, only completely opposite…Ok, that sounded stupid.). At the end of the Hallway stood a great door and on it, written in the language of Angels, was a message.

"Darkness and Light are not to be torn apart. Be together they must for they both shall endure while the other lasts." (Recognize it, anyone?)

"If that message is true, then why is it that Heaven and Hell seek to destroy each other? And who wrote that? And why do I keep talking to myself?! Damn, I better just get that damned key and get over with this." Angela told herself and opened the door. The Throne Room was oddly nondescript, except for a tapestry depicting a blooming field at noon and the female character standing in front of the throne…"Wait! A _female_?!" Angela yelled and drew her spear. "Who are you and what are you doing here?!" She asked pointing her spear at the woman's back.

"Give me your name and I shall give you mine." The woman said and turned. She was at least four inches taller than Angela; she had auburn hair and light chocolate brown eyes. She was wearing a shining white armor. And even from where Angela was standing she could tell: that woman was an angel…literally.

"My name is Angela. Now…SPEAK! What is an angel doing inside Dan's mind?!" Angela (obviously) answered and asked. The woman's eyes widened a bit.

"How do you know my son's nickname?…WAIT! You are an angel…roughly nineteen years old…" She trailed off and suddenly gasped. She looked at Angela and threw her a glare that she recognized as Damian's. "You must be the little bitch that scarred his face and his heart. How dare you show your face in my presence?!" She yelled, materialized a sword of condensed light and charged at Angela with a speed that she could barely react to.

"Just who the fuck are you?!" Angela asked while she parried blow after blow.

"I'll tell you, just so you know who killed you. My name is Bia Aurion, evolved human, former Second-in-Command of the Celestial Host, wife of Erebus and mother of the current Angel of Death and his sister!" Bia yelled and now Angela's eyes widened in surprise.

"You're Dan's mother?! I thought you had died twelve years ago!" Angela yelled as she pressed the offensive now. Bia snorted and parried with ease.

"I did, but Dan unconsciously absorbed my consciousness and here I am! And I'm thankful for that! If he had not absorbed me, I wouldn't have had a chance to kill you!" She yelled and attacked with greater strength and speed.

"Why are you trying to kill me?!"

"Because you hurt my son! He had enough trouble as it was! He didn't need to add a broken heart to that!"

"I apologized for that and he forgave me!"

"Why should I believe you?! You brought nothing but pain and misery to my son!"

"Because I LOVE HIM!" Angela yelled and Bia stopped and…cue in awkward silence.

"You _WHAT_?! You _love_ him?! Oh dear Light. I feel like I'm going to be sick." Bia said and slumped on the throne. "Ok, let me get this straight…you are an angel, the daughter of Ouranos in fact, you tried to kill my son fifteen years ago over a stupid piece of metal and wood and now you're telling me that you love him?! Please…tell me that you haven't gotten married or preformed the act of love and lust." She asked while massaging her temples.

"Well, uh, no to the first but…" Angela blushed. Bia face palmed and gave a whimper.

"WHY DID HE HAVE TO BE SO MUCH LIKE HIS FATHER?! I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE A GRANDMOTHER!" She yelled at the sky.

"How old are you? And what do you mean?! We are not having any babies…yet." Angela murmured the last part.

"I'm 26!" Bia yelled and Angela raised a skeptical brow. "Fine…32?" The eyebrow stayed up. "Ok! I'm 4026 years old, happy now?!" She yelled and Angela gasped. "And what I meant was that Dan is too much like his father. Can you believe it? He took my virginity the very same day that we kissed for the first time! And about a month later I discovered I was pregnant. Damn that Chaos bloodline. First Eros wants to get in my armor and I go and fall for his brother! They must exude pheromones or something that makes them nearly irresistible. And my family isn't that much help either! My own brother had nearly the whole village after him! Well, the female inhabitants of it anyway." She kept on rambling and Angela diverted her attention elsewhere.

"_It isn't pheromones; it's those hard muscles and that 'I can handle it' attitude that attract__s me to Dan…and those beautiful eyes of his." _She thought. She remembered that morning in the desert when- _"Stop it! You're in front of his _mother _for crying out loud. Bad Angela, bad!" _She shook her head fiercely to chase those thoughts away. "Anyway, one of Dan's emotions told me that you had a key. I need that key to help Dan." She said and Bia turned so fast that Angela was surprised her head didn't fall off.

"Why didn't you say so?! Here, take the key." She threw a key at Angela. Angela caught it and began to leave when she heard Bia again. "Hey! I can't say I'm thrilled that Dan has begun his active sexual life, but I will tell you this…break his heart again and I will destroy you. And any babies out of you better have either black hair or red or brown eyes or I swear I will hunt you down, even if it has to be in your dreams!" She punctuated the sentence with a glare that made Angela shiver.

"What's with you and the glares? Dan has that same glare." Angela asked. Her in-law (couldn't resist) smirked.

"It's a hereditary trait. My brother had this same glare and any son that comes from him will have it. But I digress…GO! Help Dan and I might just start to like you as an in-law!" She yelled and Angela ran out of the Tower. She ran al the way to the Central Spire where Link was sitting throwing a key up and down while he whistled Saria's Song.

"What happened to you? You look like you saw a ghost." Link asked.

"You could say that…I met Dan's mother." Angela said.

"Really? I met his dad." Link said and Angela looked at him with awe. "He was a pretty nice guy, actually. A bit depressive but otherwise ok." Link said shrugging. "Anyway, shouldn't we use these damned keys to open the freakin' door?" He asked. Angela nodded and they took out their respective keys. "Ok, the keys appear to be cut in half. I assume that we need to put the keys together and use them in that keyhole over there." Link said, pointing to a keyhole in the center of the door. They did and it opened. They entered and were not surprised to see the Twins inside…they were surprised to see them playing matching guitars. "What the fuck?!"

"Oh, they've arrived, brother." Light said.

"So I hear, brother, so I hear." Darkness said. Angela was puzzled by his choice of words.

"'Hear'? Don't you mean 'see'?" She asked and the Twins shook their heads.

"Why would we say 'see'-" Light started.

"When we are blind?" Darkness finished. Both the blondes gasped.

"You're blind?!" Link asked. The Twins nodded and vanished their guitars.

"You have passed part of our test."

"But there is still more."

"The next part is to be taken individually."

"We shall see which is stronger."

"Your Love-"

"-or your Hate."

"Damn they are annoying." Link told Angela.

"Now." The Twins spoke in unison. "Let us proceed to the arena of your next Trial…your minds. Phantom Blast!" They yelled and shot their respective elements at the blondes.

* * *

"Owww, my head." Link moaned and clutched it. "What the hell happened? I remember seeing a ball of darkness coming my way and then everything went black (no shit.). Huh? Where am I?" He looked around and saw that he was standing in the middle of Hyrule Field. He was looking around when he saw Sheik materialize from thin air.

"Link! I have good news. Ganondorf is weak now! Apparently some of his creatures turned against him. Now is your chance to end this, once and for all." Sheik said. Link was about to go barging into Gannon's Tower when he got a mental call from Saria.

"Link! I need help! The monsters have returned and they are attacking the Temple! I need you!" Link heard and was about to bolt towards the Temple when he saw Sheik standing there with an impatient look.

"Well? Can we go now? Or would you rather help your little friend? If we attack now, we won't need the Sages, but if you leave now, you will have to fight Ganondorf with all his strength!" Sheik yelled. Link didn't even have to think about it.

"The fight him I shall. I will not abandon my best friend to die in order to kill Ganondorf while he is weak! That would not only be dishonorable, it would make me as bad as he is! Sorry, but Saria needs me!" He yelled and ran to the Forest.

"Hey, pedophile!" A familiar voice called. Link turned and saw Damian squatting on a tree branch. "Want some help saving your girlfriend? 'Cause if you don't then too bad 'cuz I'm coming with ya." He said and jumped down. "Now come on! Time to be a hero!" Damian said and transported them to the Temple. Then everything went black…

* * *

"Ouch! That hurt. My poor head. It feels like a Berserker Demon hit me with a hammer." Angela moaned and rolled through the grass…"Wait! Grass?!" She yelled and sat bolt upright. "Where in all of Creation am I?!" She yelled. Suddenly a robed man with a long blond beard and long blond hair appeared out of thin air. Angela gasped "F-f-father?"

"Yes, my beloved daughter. We are close to ending the war. We only need you, as my most powerful daughter, to kill the last remaining High Lord of Hell." He answered and Angela gasped again.

"You don't mean-"

"Yes. You must kill the only High King Hell has had in all its accursed history and take the Scythe he took from you." He pointed to where a bloodied and beaten Damian knelt on the floor. "Kill him and you will be the greatest hero the Heavens have ever had." Angela knelt next to Damian.

"Are you ok?" She asked in a whisper.

"Heh. Only as long as it's you that ends this wretched existence of mine. The Scythe is strapped to my back…take it and do what you believe is right. I'll love you always…never forget that." He whispered and closed his eyes. She took the scythe and had a look of complete heartbreak in her eyes.

"I'm sorry…Father!" She yelled and cleaved Ouranos in two. She then helped Damian to his feet and they ran away together. Then everything went white…

* * *

"You have passed the second part of our Trial." The Twins said to the newly awoken blondes. "You have triumphed over your personal hates and you can claim you have pure hearts. Now our final Test is a riddle. Behind us there are two doors, one leads to the upper levels and the other one leads to the place where the Master's inner beast resides. One of us will tell the truth and the other one will only lie and you can ask us both one question. So…you may begin." They said and stood in front of the doors. The blondes joined heads and started to discuss.

"I know this one!" Link told Angela. She raised a skeptical brow. "I really do! Saria once told me the same riddle and explained the answer." He was so sure that Angela allowed him to do the question. "Ok, if I asked your brother which door leads to the upper levels, what would be his answer?"

"He would say that the right door is." Darkness said.

"And he would say that it's the right door." Light said. Angela was confused but Link was certain he knew the answer.

"The left one is the door. That is the correct one." Link said. The Twins looked at each other, then back at Link and nodded. Link opened the door and saw a winding staircase leading upwards.

"You have passed al our Tests. And now you are free to meet our Master, once you complete the last Trial. No, we are not the ones that will test you. That will be made clear once you reach the next chamber. Now go with the blessings of Light and Darkness." The Twins said and vanished. Link and Angela began to climb the stairs and after what seemed like an eternity they reached a door with the Decagram engraved on it and no inscription. They opened it and where greeted by a familiar voice.

"Welcome to the Hall of Innocence and Sin Link, and Angie."

* * *

Me: Left ya with a bit of a cliffhanger didn't I? Oh and you didn't read wrong...I have evil plans for the future and if you search Bia in wikipedia you will have a pretty accurate idea of who is her brother.

Jack: Read and review and maybe he will get off or rather on his lazy ass to write more.

Mike: And we are sorry for the delay.


	23. Chapter 23

Me: Chapter 23!

Jack: Deranged psycho here!

Me: Thank you, you bastard.

Jack: Oh, do shut up!

Me: Whatever...Disclaimer!

Mike: He doesn't own LoZ.

* * *

Last time, the blondes passed the Trials of Darkness and Light, effectively passing the Trials of all Ten Elements, and entered the last Hall before the Hall of Chaos and were greeted by a familiar voice...

"Welcome to the Hall of Innocence and Sin, Link and Angie"

"Danny?! What are you doing here?!" Link asked. Danny smirked.

"Heh. This is my Hall and in here you shall face my Trial...the Trial of Sin." He said and snapped his fingers. Suddenly the Ten Elements appeared in blasts of their respective elements. "You must find among them the embodiments of the Seven Deadly Sins: Wrath, Pride, Sloth, Envy, Greed, Gluttony and Lust. Any one of them could be one of the Sins. Could it be Agni of the Raging Flame, or Kevin of the Uncaring Frost. Maybe Aer of the Joyful Breeze or Geb of the Calm Earth. Dmitry of the Gentle Leaves or Axl of the Brave Metal. Perhaps it's Neil of the Sorrowful Rain or Thor of the Scornful Lightning. Or perchance it's the Twins...I'm sure that Lux of the Blinding Light and Umbra of the Encroaching Darkness could be one of the Sins..." Danny said and chuckled at Link and Angela's expressions. "What? You didn't think that we called them merely by their respective elements, did you? That would be annoying and not very practical. Now, you may begin the Trial." Danny said and motioned for them to begin.

"I guess it's pretty obvious that Fire is Wrath…" Link started and was promptly quieted by a strong slap on his shoulder.

"The name's Agni, not 'Fire'. And that was pretty easy, right? And I was wondering…how did my little brothers treat you?" Agni asked.

"Well…Wood was pretty sweet, but, Thunder tried to kill Link when his back was turned." Angela answered and regretted it once she saw the expression on Agni's face.

"He what?! He attacked an opponent with his back turned on him?! Wait a moment…Thor!" He yelled. Thor approached with a smug look on his face.

"You called, brother?" He asked smirking. A smirk that was promptly replaced by a look of pain as Agni punched him hard in the gut. "What the hell was that for you brute?!"

"You attacked a foe while his back was turned on you?!"

"So what?! He is inferior to us!"

"You prideful jackass! No one is beneath or above us! Have you forgotten that Lord Umbra ordered us to treat everyone as if they were of our same status?! So that's why Lord Umbra asked me to train you…you have disgraced yourself, your brothers and the Master with your actions."

"Shut up you imbecile! You disgrace me with your rejection of the truth! I am a proud Child of Chaos!"

"Listen to yourself. You are not a Child of Chaos; you don't even exist in the material world! You are just the mental personification of a part of Master Damian!" They continue to yell at each other for a while until Dmitry approaches them.

"Brothers, you shouldn't fight…" He said and was ignored. "Brothers? I'm trying to tell you something…" He was ignored again. His normally gentle light brown eyes narrowed and became red-ish brown. "I said…LISTEN TO ME!!!" He yelled and wooden spikes erupted from the floor effectively pinning Thor and Agni to the ceiling. "Now, will you listen to me?" He asked in a deceptively calm voice and the other two nodded. "Good. You are interrupting the Trial that our friends have to pass, so…BE QUIET! Understood?" The two men pinned to the ceiling nodded frantically. "Ok." Dmitry said with a smile and, as the spikes lowered, his eyes returned to their normal shade of brown.

"What was that?!" Link asked no one in particular.

"He is the most dangerous of us."

"Huh? Oh, uh, Kevin, is it?"

"Yes. As I was saying, he is the most dangerous one because of his deceptively harmless appearance. That and he is the one more easily moved to imitate his brothers." At Link's puzzled expression he sighed and knew he had to elaborate. "We are grouped as brothers, not by blood, but by what we have the strongest affinity to. Agni's branch is like this, Rage, Scorn and Timidity. Rage can turn into Scorn and once it burns out it turns into Timidity and fear of the consequences of ones actions. Also, Scorn can breed Rage or cause Timidity in the face of the scorned. And finally, Timidity and fear can turn into Rage or Scorn when one's loved ones are hurt." Kevin finished and walked away.

"Ok…so, uh, Agni is Wrath. And I assume by Agni's and Thor's conversation that Thor would be Pride." Angela said. Thor looked at her with something akin to scorn but nodded. "Ok, that leaves Sloth, Envy, Greed, Gluttony and Lust." She said and turned to Link. "Any idea how to tell them apart?" Link thought for a moment and nodded.

"Ok, I have a hunch that Kevin is Sloth. Remember that he seemed annoyed at having to test us? I say he is Sloth." Kevin sighed and nodded. "And I would bet my tunic that Water, I mean Neil, is Envy. He mentioned that no one visited him willingly with a tone of jealousy in his voice." Neil nodded. "And I'm stumped as to who the other ones are."

"Well…Aer said that happiness was a treasure and he appears to hoard it for himself, so I would say that he is Greed." Angela said and Aer nodded happily. "And Earth consumes everything eventually, so Geb is Gluttony." A curt nod was all she received. "And Lust…I have no idea…"

"Exactly what is Lust?" Link asked (remember he grew up with kids that never hit puberty…that's gotta be an impairment when learning about certain…stuff.). Angela blushed and was stunned by Link's ignorance.

"Well, Lust is…" And she whispered it in Link's ear. Link had the decency to blush and stutter.

"So that's Lust! Well, then the answer is easy! Lux and Umbra are Lust!"

"What?!"

"Of course! Lust's closer relation is Love and since both of them are Love, then they're both Lust!" He explained and looked at the Twins expectantly. They nodded. "Yeah! We pass! Yahoo!" He yelled and started to jump up and down. Danny merely clapped.

"Congratulations, my friends. You have passed all the Trials and now, you will meet he whom you have been searching for. Go through that door and enter the Great Hall of Chaos. He awaits you there. May your innocence protect you and may your knowledge of Sin help you avoid it." He said and sat on his throne. The blondes nodded and approached the door. It was great and of many swirling colors, the Decagram etched on its surface. They had to push together to open it and inside they saw the last throne room in the Fortress of Damian's Mind. The room was of simple décor with two smaller thrones facing the Throne of Chaos, the throne was surprisingly plain except for ten jewels encrusted in the points of the Decagram, and sitting on the throne, wearing a black cloak and giving them that smirk that made their hearts race (for different reasons, mind you.) was the guy that they had traveled and fought all this time (7 chapters if memory serves) to get.

"Hey, Link. Hello, Angie. Good to see you two." Damian said. The blondes blinked twice before running and embracing him. "Whoa! Glad to see you like me, but I'm not very used to all the love here. Why don't we blow this joint and return to the real world. As much as I trust you, I feel rather exposed if you are inside my head." He said grinning sheepishly. The blondes released him and rubbed the back of their heads sheepishly. Damian just snapped his fingers and they returned to their bodies. They blinked a few times to readjust to the light and they saw Damian and Thanatos panting with their scythes locked in a standstill.

"I see you have improved, little bro." Thanatos said smirking.

"I had a good teacher and plenty of chances to practice, big bro." Damian replied with a smirk of his own. They exchanged blows for a while before Damian succeeded in disarming Thanatos.

"Heh, good fight, little bro. I know you will take good care of my old scythe or should I say your scythe? Since you defeated me, you have proven your worth and now you are the true owner and only wielder of the Deathscythe. I must leave and you will probably never see me again so I'll tell you this: I'm sure father loved you and was proud of you and everything he did, he did to protect you. Farewell, my brother." Thanatos said and vanished into the shadows.

"Farewell, my brother." Damian echoed. He stood there for a moment before he stumbled. "Whew. I-I forgot how s-strong brother could be. Link, meet with the Spirit Sage. Angie, would you be as kind as to accompany me outside? I need some fresh air." Angela nodded and they walked outside. Link, after getting hit on the head with the final Medallion, appeared outside and saw Damian leaning against the wall of the Temple and Angela sitting not to far from him. "You done?" He asked and Link nodded. "Good, I think that we should go to the ranch, get supplies and rest before we storm Ganon-whore's Tower. That good with you?" He asked and Link nodded again. "Ok, I'll warp us there." Damian said and opened a portal beneath them. They appeared about ten feet away from the ranch's entrance. Link turned to ask why they weren't inside the ranch when he heard a rather loud thump and saw Damian collapsed on the ground. "Ma-lon…"

* * *

Me: Warning! Cultural Note! Warning!

I chose to give names to the elements because I was bored and every one of them has some significance…except for Axl.

Agni: Hindu god of Fire.

Thor: Scandinavian god of Thunder.

Kevin: Based on Kelvin, the thermodynamic scale that presents the absolute zero.

Neil: Anagram for Nile.

Dmitry: Comes from Demeter, Greek goddess of Harvest and Crops.

Axl: Comes from Ax.

Aer: Greek name for the air that mortals breathe.

Geb: Egyptian incarnation of the Earth.

Lux & Umbra: Latin for Light and Darkness respectively. I toyed with the idea of using their Greek names but that would probably cause confusion (Aether and Erebus respectively) or even naming them as Shiro and Kuro (White and Black in Japanese) but I decided to use the Latin names.

So that brings an end to the "inside" arc. We're back on track people so Read and Review!


	24. Chapter 24

Me: Guess who is back

Me: Guess who is back! That Bitch Lu didn't want to let me go, but I escaped! Seriously, school's been a real bitch and my dad's been bitching that I don't study enough…but enough of my woes…DISCLAIMER!!

Jack & Mike: He doesn't own…

Me: Bwahahahahahaha!!

* * *

"Ugh…Huh? Where am I? And why do I feel like I was trampled by a brood of Dragons?"

"Oh? Good, you're awake."

"Link? How long was I out? And where are we?"

"You've been out for about half a day and we're in the ranch."

"The ranch…" He said calmly before he gave a start and his eyes flew open. "The RANCH?! Oh Shit!! Angie and Malon must have already met! Oh Shit! Oh Shit! OH HOLY FUCKING SHIT!! Ok, calm down. There's nothing to worry about…only that one or both of the women I love are going to kill me or worse themselves…Damn it that's not helping!" Damian alternated between yelling and mumbling to himself in a panicked manner while Link did the only sensible thing in a situation like that…he was laughing his ass off.

"Oh boy. That has to be the most fucking hilarious thing I have seen in a long while. But, seriously, calm down. Both Malon and Angela are ok. They're sleeping right next to you, if you haven't noticed. In fact, I'm surprised they haven't woken up with all the yelling you've been doing." Link said and laughed again at the sight of Damian looking at both sides seeing the cause of his yells sleeping quite peacefully. Damian smiled softly at seeing them.

"Well, they are alive and as beautiful as always. I actually wish they were awake. I want to hold them and kiss them…in fact…I'm going to do something I've heard about but I haven't tried yet." He said with a smirk. He approached Malon and kissed her softly on the lips. When they parted lips her eyes fluttered open but retained a glazed look. "Good morning, sleeping beauty. Did you enjoy your wake up call? I know I did." Damian said with his normal smirk. Then he repeated his actions with Angela and was awarded with a similar reaction. "You know? I could get used to waking up with two beautiful girls by my side…" That coment would've earned him a destroyer class brain duster if he hadn't said it with a small genuine smile.

"You're lucky, buster. Had it been anyone else they would be snacking wood right now." Angela said with a slight glare. Damian smiled sheepishly and scratched the back of hs head.

"So, Dark Boy...why did you pass out?" Malon asked.

"Yeah, what happened, Dan?"

"Well...you see...since you passed the Eleven Trials inside my mind, you weakened every mental barrier I have developed over the years, so...I kinda...couldn't endure the mental stress and besides...I was sleepy." Damian said and laughed at the expressions on Link's and Angela's face. "What? I need to sleep every once in a while, and besides, the stress was too much to resist. My mind and my body can only tolerate so much abuse before they need to shut down and since we were in known territory, they figured that it wouldn't hurt to take a nap."

"Ok, I can believe that. So, the question now is, can you fight or do you need some more time to rest?" Link asked.

"I'll be ok as soon as I eat something." Damian said.

"Lunch is ready, Damian. You want me to bring you some?" Malon said.

"Thank you, Malon. I have to speak with you and Angela later if that is ok." Damian said. Malon nodded and left. Damian sighed and laid back down. "Hey, Angie, think you can refill three of my milk bottles? I believe they will be needed." Angela nodded and left. "Those two are something else, aren't they?"

"Yeah...I wish my love life was like yours." Link said.

"...You really do love Saria...don't you?" Damian asked. Link looked up abruptly with a blush. "...Do you remember the Trial of the Twins? It was the trial of Love and Hate. It planted a choice before you...to either choose to preserve that which you love or destroy that which you hate...You chose to save Saria...that means you love her. Heh. I always teased you about it...but...I'm happy for you two. When all this is over...I will help you. I might be the Angel of Death and the High King of Hell, but I'll be hung by my entrails if I don't help my friend."

"You're WHAT?!" Angela yelled from the doorway. Damian jumped and stared at her.

"I...uh...hehehe...I'm the Angel of Death?" Damian answered/asked chuckling nervously but stopped at the glare Angela was giving him. "Ok, ok, ok. I'm THE High King of Hell."

"When and how did this happened...and don't you think about lying or you won't be getting any of this for a while." She said while gesturing to her body.

"Damn, I'm whipped. I always knew I would end whipped, but I was hoping it wouldn't happen for a couple of centuries at least." Damian mumbled. "Remember how I killed my Father, Uncle and the Three Stooges? That means I'm the High Lord of Terror, Destruction, Sin, Torture and last, but not least, the Supreme Commander of the Army. Now, that would be it, but Lu thought that if he killed me, he would be the High King. That means he attacked me and I killed him about...a year ago. Now, since there are no more High Lords but me, the denizens of Hell named me their High King. And that's it, I swear." He said waving his hands frantically. Malon entered with a tray with a bowl of soup and a piece of meat and laid it on Damian's lap. "Thank you, Farm Girl." He said and started to eat. "So…this is pretty good…what's the plan?" Link and Angela looked at each other and shrugged. Damian sighed. "I see I'm still the brains of this operation. Ok, here's the plan…we blow the front door to hell, kill anything in our way and feed Ganon-whore his own genitals!" He said and Link and Angela sweatdropped. "Ok, being serious, let's go to the Temple of Time and plan what to do. We might be able to see that little bitch Sheik and it might be able to help us."

"Damian, I've been wondering…why do you call Sheik a bitch?" Link asked.

"…You seriously can't tell? I always thought that you were jerking my chain…ok, I'll tell you…" Damian said and motioned for Link to get closer. "Sheik is actually Bitch, I mean, Zelda."

"Really?!"

"_Idiot._" Damian thought. "Ok, thanks for the food, Malon. Now, if you would excuse us, Link, I have things to discuss with these beautiful ladies here." Damian said with a tone that said "_Leave or I will hurt you!_" So Link did as he was told and exited the house.

"_He'll help me, huh? Wonder what he can do…I mean, I love her but…I don't want her to be made fun off for having a boyfriend that looks seven years older than her. And how would we have children if she has the body of a ten year old." _Link thought and didn't notice his shadow swirling and moving.

"Yo!"

"Huh? Oh, it's just you, DL."

"…I'm sure Damian will find a way to help us."

"'Us'?"

"Yeah! I am a part of you, so it's obvious that I care as much for Saria as you do!"

"Guess you're right…yeah! He has never lied to us, so we have no reason to mistrust him! We will defeat Ganon-whore and then…!" He yelled and started to blush.

"Those are some pretty inappropriate thoughts, you know?"

"The Fuck?! You can see my thoughts?!"

"Duh! I'm you, remember?"

"Fuck you very much, asshole!"

"Sorry to disappoint, but I'm straight." DL said and returned to Link's shadow.

"Smartass." Link mumbled. "Wonder what's keeping Damian so busy. He said he was going to talk to them. He should be done by now…" Link said to himself. He entered the house and heard muffled noises coming from the bedroom so, being the nosy bastard that he is, he opened the room and peered inside…he closed the door 4.2 seconds later with a blush that would make a tomato jealous. "That…fucking…hypocrite…calling me…a pervert…when he's fucking with…two girls at once…bastard." Link mumbled in a half-delirious state. Two hours later a pretty smug looking Damian and a bow legged Angela exited the bedroom.

"That was great, girls. I look forward to an encore." Damian said with an obviously perverted grin.

"Pervert." Angela said.

"But you love me like this." Damian said. "Ok, Link, come here for a moment." He said and Link complied. Damian reached into his cloak and pulled out a pendant with an upside-down five-pointed star. "This pendant is only given to those that have mastered their Rage, their Scorn, their Courage, their Happiness, their Hate and their Love…Fire, Lightning, Metal, Air and Darkness. This pendant comes with my oath to help you and your line for as long as they remain true to their destinies as heroes. Wear it with pride, my friend, my comrade…my brother." Damian said and gave the pendant to Link. Link smiled and placed it around his neck. "Now…Onward! Let us restore peace to this place!"

"Hell Yeah!" Link yelled. They warped to the Temple of Time where they met with Sheik who revealed "he" was really Zelda (As if anyone had any doubts at this point.).

"I so called it first!" Yelled Damian. Zelda rolled her eyes and gave Link the Light Arrows then she once again revealed her usefulness (Fuck, I have to install a drain for the sarcasm.) and was kidnapped by Ganondorf. "Well…I always knew she was going to be useless…How about a beer before we go defeat Ganon-whore?"

"Sure, I haven't tasted beer yet." Link said.

"I don't drink beer…What?! We have to save the Princess…even though she is annoying and useless…but it's your duty, Link!" Angela said. Damian and Link sighed.

"Ok, fine! Let's save the annoying bitch." Damian said and led the way to Gannon's Tower. When they arrived, instead of going to the entrance, Damian went to the right and arrived in front of a huge pillar of stone. "I sense a GF behind this pebble."

"Pebble?! I couldn't even move this thing by myself!" Angela yelled. Damian raised an eyebrow.

"Really? I've bench pressed things like this since I was three. I thought Angels were stronger than that." Damian said. He walked to the stone and, without any visible effort, raised it over his head. Needless to say, Link's and Angela's jaws became lodged in the ground. "See? No biggie." He said and tossed it all the way to Gannon's Tower. "Let us enter, shall we?" He asked. Inside Link played Bitch's Lullaby and…cue in obnoxious laughter. "I still think that is highly annoying."

"Greetings, young ones. I am the Great Fairy of Wisdom. I will bestow upon the young hero my protection." The GF said and blew a kiss in Link's direction. "Young Hero, Young Master of the Elements and Young Mistress of Light, your journey is nearing its end…may the goddesses protect you." She said and disappeared with the same obnoxious laughter. They entered Gannon's Tower and arrived at the room with the staircase surrounded by a barrier.

"I think we should dispel the barrier of Shadow first." Damian said.

"Why?"

"…Call it a gut feeling, but there's something that tells me that there's something you need in those rooms…"

"Let's do it then. I trust your instincts." Link said. Inside Damian and Angela unfurled their wings to cross the pits. "Damn it! I hate not having wings! Hey, can anyone of you give me a lift?!" Damian chuckled and grabbed him by the armpits. They crossed the first pit and reached a chest. Inside were the Golden Gauntlets. "Cool! I feel stronger." Link said. They dispelled the Barriers of Shadow, Fire, Water and Spirit with no mishaps but when they dispelled the Barrier of the Forest Damian shoved Link into Saria and in true anime fashion their lips crashed into one another. That stunt earned him a slap from Angela.

"What? They love each other, so it's perfectly normal for them to kiss!" Damian defended himself. They returned to the Staircase Room and saw a pillar like the one outside leaning on a wall. "Link, think you can handle it?"

"I think so…" Link said. He walked to the pillar and grabbed it at the base and, with slight effort, he tossed it overhead and it crashed against the barrier. "Alright! I'm as strong as you, Damian!"

"Heh. Hardly. I lifted mine without effort whereas you had to struggle for a moment. You are probably as strong as a high class-2, low class-3 demon. Hardly a challenge for me." Damian said. "Let's do this thing already. This place is boring." They dispelled the last barrier and climbed the stairs, killing any monster that got in their way until they reached a room with two Iron Knuckles. "Fuck! Ok, I'll take care of these guys; you two destroy that door and keep going." Damian said. Link and Angela nodded, albeit reluctantly, and did as they were told. They kept climbing the stairs until they were stopped by two Gerudo Thieves loyal to Ganondorf.

"Keep going, Link! I'll handle these bitches." Angela said and attacked the two with her spear. Link ran all the way up and reached the highest floor of the Tower. Steeling himself he opened the door and entered. There, playing an organ, with the Princess (Bitch) trapped inside a crystal, was the King of Thieves, Ganondorf himself.

"Ganondorf! You bastard! I will defeat you!" Link yelled and unsheathed his sword.

"Heh, heh, heh. You little fool. I have power, given by the goddesses! You little insect are insignificant!" Ganondorf yelled and showed his piece of the Triforce.

"You stupid bastard! You may have one piece of the Triforce, but you don't have it all!" Link yelled and showed his own piece.

"What?! You insect have a piece of the Triforce?! I will destroy you and take it from your cold dead hand!" Ganondorf yelled and started shooting energy blasts at Link.

"_Heh, same strategy as Phantom Gannon._" Link thought and swatted the blast back with his sword. When Ganondorf blocked the blast with his forearms Link shot a Light Arrow at him and then slashed him with his sword. This repeated itself until Ganondorf started to release a huge amount of energy.

"If I can't defeat you…I will collapse this whole Tower with you inside!!" He yelled and basically exploded. (I always hated the whole "tower's falling down, run" thing so I'm going to skip it.) Long story short, Ganondorf transformed into a pig-minotaur hybrid and threw the Master Sword away.

"Damn it!" Link yelled as he rolled out of he way.

"C'mon Link! Turn that pig-fucker into BBQ!"

"Damian?!"

"Who did you expect the Tooth Fairy?! Of course it's me you idiot! Now roast that piggy!"

"I'm not in the mood for BBQ…how about shish kebabs?!" Link said and equipped the Biggoron Sword. He hit the tail and was awarded with a squeal of pain. "So, your ass is your weak point, huh? Well…how about I ram my sword up it?!" Link yelled and slashed stabbed and bludgeoned Gannon's tail. Gannon collapsed and the ring of fire surrounding the arena disappeared.

"Link! Catch!" Damian yelled and threw the Master Sword at Link…nearly stabbing him in the process.

"You asshole! You nearly killed me!"

"Oh, shut up you big wuss! If I had been trying to kill you, I wouldn't have missed!"

"So you nearly killed me on accident?! That makes me feel a lot fucking better…NOT!" Link and Damian kept yelling at each other making everyone else, including Gannon, sweatdrop. Gannon, getting tired of being ignored, tried to attack Link. "You stay the fuck away, Miss Piggy!!" Link yelled and stabbed Gannon in the face. Gannon squealed, cried and twitched and was ultimately sealed by the Six Sages…and Bitch.

* * *

Me: That's it…for now! Just and Epilogue remaining and it's over…


	25. Chapter 25

Me: Final Chapter!!

Jack: Finally! We can end this torture and get on with our lives!

Mike: You forget, he said Damian will go to other places. That means THIS story ends, but another will begin.

Me: Every beginning is an end, and every end is a beginning, and the end of this begins NOW!

Jack & Mike: He doesn't own.

Me: Bwahahahaha.

* * *

We find Link floating in a sea of clouds…

"Ahhh! I'm gonna fall!" He yelled only to find that he was in fact floating. "Huh?" He started to look around and saw Bitch floating about three feet away from him. "Princess Bitch, I mean, Zelda…where the fuck are we?" Link asked her. Just as she was about to answer she was silenced by a gauntlet clad hand.

"I'll answer that, thank you." Damian said. "We are currently floating in a Limbo… a gap between dimensions if you will. We are here because WE are to be sent to our original timeline."

"But won't that mean that this quest was for nothing?"

"Nah. This is your reward for defeating a man that would challenge your goddesses for domination. Even though we are going to return, our knowledge and the fact that Ganon-whore is sealed won't change…and as an added bonus, courtesy of yours truly, you will be allowed to remain with your loved one." When he said this Zelda got a scary glint in her eyes.

"Do you-"

"Link!! I love you too!" Zelda yelled at the top of her lungs. Damian and Link's faces showed identical "WTF?!" expressions.

"Ummm…Princess…I'm…uh...flattered (Read: Scared shitless.) but I…love someone…else…" Link said awkwardly while Damian rolled on the floor laughing his guts out.

"Did…did you really…Hahahahaha…believe that Link loved…YOU?!" Damian managed to wheeze between his laughter. "You stupid…Bitch! Hahahahaha!" Damian kept laughing for a while. "Whew. I needed that." He said wiping a stray tear of mirth. "No, Link does not love you, your royal bitchiness. He loves a really pretty and nice girl…not a blond bimbo. So, if you will excuse us, I have to talk to my friend here…alone." He said with an undertone of "fuck off". Zelda huffed and floated away. "Now that that royal pain in the ass is gone, as I was saying, I arranged that Saria will age like a Hylian so that you two will grow old and have kids together. And there is no hidden fee or payment necessary. Just promise you two will continue to protect Hyrule."

"I swear on my honor that we will…and thanks man. I'll tell her as soon as I see her."

"Well…it's time to go. I'll see ya later Link…and take care of that pendant." Damian said and Link disappeared inside a portal along with Bitch. "…He's a good guy. He deserves a bit of happiness, don't you think, girls?" Damian asked the apparently empty space. Three figures materialized besides him. One had fiery red hair and amber eyes and was dressed in a red and golden robe, another had blue hair and matching eyes and was dressed in a robe that had at least three different shades of blue, and the last one could have passed as an older looking Saria.

"We could never fool you, could we?" Asked the blue-haired girl.

"Heh. The day you three can sneak up on me, is the day I pass on my scythe and become a monk." Damian said with a smirk.

"Hey! We're not that bad!" The redhead exclaimed.

"Keep telling yourself that, Din…maybe some day you'll actually believe it." Damian said, still smirking.

"Nayru! Tell him to stop insulting me!"

"But Din, he is not insulting you."

"Huh?"

"He merely speaks the truth."

"Why you little…!"

"Din, remember Nayru is only one minute younger than you." The green-haired girl said.

"Shut it, Farore!"

"Enough!" Damian yelled. "Now, do you agree peacefully to my 'suggestion' of allowing Farore's descendant to marry my friend Link?" He asked with a smile that was 5 percent kindness and 95 percent 'Do it or I'll hurt you.'

"S-s-sure!"

"I concur"

"Yoo-hoo! My little girl is going to get a hero as a husband!"

"Then it's settled. Link and Saria are now meant to be together as man and wife…once they reach an appropriate age of course." Damian said getting nods from all three goddesses. "Then, if you'll excuse me, I must return to my time…and do say hello to Aunty Gaia from my part." He said and vanished.

Now, with Link…

"Fuck! I can't use the Master Sword with this body! Hey, where are you going, Navi?!" Link yelled, but Navi was already gone. "Great, just great. First Princess Bitch tells me she loves me…fucking cross-dressing bitch, then I find that I can't use my favorite sword and now my fairy abandons me…WHAT'S NEXT?! Ganondorf in a tutu?!"

"I really hope not. That's not an image I want in my head." Damian said, making Link jump six feet in the air. "That's the highest one yet." He said shrugging the rusty knives Link was glaring at him. "Now, we should go and see your girlfriend…_and future wife._" He said whispering the last part. Link immediately brightened up.

"I hope she accepts me as boyfriend material…HEY, speaking of girlfriends, where's Angela?"

"She wanted to travel alone for a while, said something about training so she could beat me into submission next time." Damian answered giggling perversely at the end.

"You know…I really didn't need to know that." Link said blushing. "Let's just get to the forest." He said. Once they were entering the forest Link stopped abruptly. "I feel like I'm forgetting something." He said pensively. He shrugged and began walking again. "Must not be anything important."

Meanwhile in the Castle Courtyard…

"WHERE THE HELL IS HE?! HE SHOULD REALIZE THAT I'M HIS TRUE LOVE AND COME CRAWLING AT MY FEET!!"

* * *

Me: That's it.

Jack: Kinda crappy ending, don't ya think?

Me: Nah! It's just that I couldn't think of any other ending and I never really liked the original ending.

Mike: Thank you, to everyone that read this fic.

Me: And keep your eyes peeled for the sequel! After much deliberation I decided against the MM fic, sooooo next stop: Sylvarant!

Jack: What?

Me: Next stop is Tales of Symphonia! Sharpen your swords, Damian! And tell your little sister that she better prepare too! See you later in "Tales of Death"! Oh, and thank you all who read this fic and special thanks to JtheChosen1 for all his reviews. May Chaos embrace us all!

Jack: He means: See Ya!

Mike: Good-Bye.


End file.
